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Madi Gras: One Night Stand
I was in New Orleans last year for Mardi Gras with five other guys, doing the whole partying scene, having a great time and staying in a nearby hotel. One evening, after we had spent a good part of the day getting completely hammered, we went to a club and met some girls. I started dancing and talking with one of them for about an hour, and I left to use the bathroom. I was met with a line of about twenty people for one bathroom. I did my best to keep my mind off of my impending bowel explosion, but it took forever. I don't know if the alcohol had anything to do with it, but after a good twenty minutes, I couldn't hold it any longer and let it go in my pants. Finally, I got to the bathroom and I spent a good ten minutes cleaning off the inside of my underwear and pants with toilet paper. I returned to the dance floor quite aware of the odor I was emitting, but the girl was too drunk to notice and pulled me on the dance floor. The drinks had a hold of me too, and I danced with her regardless of the mess I made, until she tried to slide her hands down the back of my pants. I used my hands, dancing all the time, to keep hers away from my ass, but eventually backed myself up against a wall and kept her in front of me.
Later on, I left with her and returned to my hotel. By this time, I had to take a dump again and to my horror, my friend told me that the toilets, due to a hotel-wide plumbing problem, were inoperable. Well, I didn't want to crap in my shorts again, so I ran outside to the bathroom in the changing room for the pool and destroyed that toilet. I left the carnage in that bowl without the ability to flush it. I returned to my room to find the girl waiting for me in bed completely naked. I jumped in and we spent the night together (another story for another time).
The next morning I awoke with my bowels churning again. Once again, I ran down to the pool bathroom and this time I layed stink on stink and further defiled that poor porcelain post. I went back to my room, lifted the covers, and what I saw chilled my soul. Because of the half-assed job I did cleaning myself from the night before, and the fact that my new friend had spent most of her evening on top of me, there were several brown skid marks staining the bed sheets. I hppped into bed with her and pulled the covers tight. When she woke up, she repeatedly asked me if I wanted to get breakfast, but I declined saying that I didn't feel well. Eventually, at noon (!!!) she left, and I gave her a kiss and said goodbye with the covers at my chin. She never knew.