technician
Alley Cat's story about her wet snow suit was great. More Please. Those accident stories make this site the great place it is. It helps us all feel less guilty about those times that we had in our past (and almost everybody has had one) where we did the same thing. Keep on sharing them.Jen
I have a small question for everyone here. When I was young my parents had a VERY lax view on accidents, they even encouraged several . I don't mean when I was 3-4 either, theyw were like this all the way till I moved out. Basically what it boiled down to was if there was nothing more important then I would/could use the bathroom otherwise I was to go in my pants at there request. I remember one time we were at the mall shopping then we had dinner in the foodcourt, as we finished I felt the need to pee and poop and told my parents. They responded that they wanted to leave and I should use my panties on the way home(thats what I did). Also if we had company over and I was either in my room or I only had to poop I was to go in my panties. If I was in the same room I was dismiss my self go into the backyard pull down my pants (but not panties) and pee there. That way there was no flushing sounds. They didnt even mind if I was watching TV or playing games and just wet or messed! myself because I didnt want to leave. Anyway back to my question does anyone know of any possible bad side effects from this? Other then the fact that I still will do this (minus the company thing) or the weakness of my control when it comes to bathroom rituals. Please respond so I know what to lookout for or possibly seek help for. I have many more stories if anyone is interested too.
Postman
To: John's gal when you used to poop your pants at school, where did you poop before cleaning up?FAT WOMAN
GRUNTLY BOGWELL-
So great to see you have returned!!! The forum was not the same without you!! Let me know if you'd like me to post some of my stories!
Love, Fat WomanArthur
Have any girls here used a urinal?And for the guys-If you suddenly were a girl do you think you'd still use a urinal?Would anybody be upset if they lost the ability to pee standing up?How many guys here think they'd try to pee standing or use a urinal if they were girls?
I have a funny story about a urinal.Once my little cousin almost took a dump in one.LOL.
Ross:I didn't say it's only vunerability just that it was one aspect not the only or neccessarily the main aspect.
Punk Rock Girl
Hello!
I had some major diarrhea yesterday. I ate an entire bag of dried apricots by myself. Very bad idea. Within an hour, my guts were grumbling and cramping up. I wen into the unisex and into a stall and pulled down my pants and thong and relaxed. Luckily, I was alone. I let out a little fart, then practically peed out of my ass for a couple of minutes. It was really gooey and wet. When I was finally done, I wiped myself a lot, and afterwards my ass was really sore. I decided to take my thong off, so I took off my shoes, my pants and removed my thong. I put my pants and shoes back on and stuffed my thong in my jacket pocket.
I had another bout of the shits a couple of hours later. This time I borrowed a tube of cortizone cream from one the girls I work with, and put some between my buns after I wiped myself. It helped a little.
I have, if I do say so myself, a really nice ass. It's really bulbous, and sticks out pretty far. I don't have big hips, so all my extra female fat goes into my butt. I like it, and my boyfriend likes it. But it also has served me well in a few shit emergencies. If I really have to shit and it's threatening to come out in my pants, I've got an extra inch of cheek to clench around it. If I have to wait to wipe my ass after shitting, my buns act like a barrier between my pants and the "danger zone". And yesterday, my buns kept the cortizone where it was, so it didn't smear on my pants.
So you see boys, a woman's ass, as cute and sexy as it may be, serves many practical purposes as well. So be nice to your girlfriend, wife, whatever, and pay more attention to her ass. We love having our tits played with (well, I do anyway), but a good ass massage is awful nice, too.
Peace everybody!
PRG
Kathryn
My experience from the other day still has me amazed. I'm normally chronically constipated. Ive changed my diet, I drink more water, nothing matters. I've since developed a normal routine. Normally every day goes as follows. I come home from work eat lunch, drink 2 glasses of water, and go upstairs and give myself a plain water enema. Then I go and lay down flat and massage my stomach. I then go to the bathroom and force out a squirt of clear water followed by a small nugget. (even with the enema I need to force everything out, if I don't I won't go at all, trust me I've tried everything) Next is usually a few spurts of clear water followed by a long skinny rope. I usually clean myself up and go lye down again. Within a half hour I go back to the toilet and release a few more squirts of water. Later that night I take my shower and a couple minutes into it my stomach starts to cramp badly. I usually get a second warning to get in position before diarrhea starts to dribble out! . At this point the sickness has set in and the pains are unbearable. (all of the enema water is out of me by now by the way) I squat down in the shower and let the diarrhea dribble slowly out. The sickness is usually so bad that I lay down on the tub floor and push. Usually I push twice each time an explosion of diarrhea comes out of me and hits the other wall of the shower. I clean myself up and finish my shower. If I don't give myself an enema I will not go for a week or 2 at a time. Once I do go, I have a few episodes of diarrhea before the constipation starts again. Now you all know why I enjoyed the other day so much!
Aeriana
hi, yestaday i was back from a school camp and i was really constipated and still am. i havent went for 1 week now and i feel horrible. anyway i'll tell you people what happened.
it was the second day and at about 6am i woke up with a slight urge to poop. my friend cassandra(i'll call her cass) told me that she was having an awful stomach ache and told me to goto the latrine with her. she was holding her stomach when we where heading over there. i could tell she was desperate for poop.
when he walked into the latrine there was a line of 10 girls lining up all looked desperate and was holding their stomach too. The toilet was like a huge horizontal box with 4 large holes(for the butts). it really stank in there and there were also no doors so we all could see the girls sitting on the "box". the 4 girls sounded like they were pooping too and they were making really wet farts and long pieces of poop. after about 2 minutes one girl finished wiped and another girl took over. cass told me she was feeling very unwell and could not hold any longer. about 1 minute later a female counsellor in her early 20s came in. she realised that the line of girls couldnt hold any longer so she told us to follower her.
she took us to a bushland which seems secluded and told us we could go here. the first thing i saw was cass removing her pants and squatted then immediatly let out a huge rush of diarrhea. then i saw the other girls pulling their pants down and squatted. some were still shy but later they did squatted. so i pulled my pants down and slowly squatted.to my suprise the female counsellor was also pooping!! she had a really long poop rope coming out of her butt. i strained a little and pushed out a fart. i kept pushing but nothing came out other than big gas. there were all ready a huge puddle of diarrhea under cass. her butt kept of squirting liquid poop out. there were like 20 people pooping their guts out in the bush. some girls had diarrhea but most of them were having normal poop and i am sure that every single girl was pooping. after 10 minutes some girls finished and they wiped with leaves then leaved. the counsellor was still producing piece of poop onto her REALLY HUG! E pile. finally all the other girls finished and left. the counsellor told us to go back to our dorms when we finish then she walked away. cass said that she was feeling very ill after she said that another gush of diarrhea came out along with farts and she was finished. i still couldnt go and my butthole was on fire. it pushed really hard and only 1 very small piece of poop came out. but cass was in a worse condition, right after she wiped she stood up and threw up for about 20 seconds. i could tell she was very ill and she crying, so i got up and hugged her. then she said i am fine now, i felt better after the diarrhea and throwing up. i felt better for her too after that. so i just wiped and carried cass back to the dorm.
i wanted to clear this conspation badly, can anyone help? i really dont want to use ememas or laxatives but i wanted to have the bad runs.
thanx
cya all, Aeriana.
Gruntly Bogwell and Buzzy are my fave posters on here as they have such good stories
unhappy brother-in-law
Althea
I have IBS and have a history of constipation problems.I have been using Senna as it works better than anything else. I have had a number of embarrassing experiences but none that bad. I normally wear incotinent pants after taking a laxative but forgot that day. I won't forget again. Thanks for the advice on eating salads.
TV Fan
I have a question for anyone who watches all the Ally McBeal TV episodes. As you know, this show probably has more bathroom scenes than any other TV show in the US today. My question is this: does anyone remember any episodes of this show in which a female character (mainly Ally, Nell, Elaine or Ling) was shown in the bathroom, and it was obvious that she was pooping? We've seen shows where females (including Ally) were sitting on the toilet, and once Ally even got her butt stuck on the toilet, but I could never tell whether the character was supposed to be peeing or pooping. Can anyone remember an episode where the context made it very clear that the woman was making number 2?
Bryian
Hey every one....been home for like a week..i was off several days and i had been out sick...a cold is going around i think...thats what i got
went to the dr. he said got a virus.
I've had several dreams latly....im dreaming stuff and its like im farting in the dream. Then last night i dreamed i saw some woman and she was squating down with her pants on and i went over to her and pulled her pants down and saw her hole...i knew she was gonna give birth to a monster log(like kim and scott)...i woke up and didn't get to see it.
To CC: I liked your story....i thought for sure you were gonna say u had an urge during the interview...how did it go?
To jim: Liked your story..ever go in the toilet?
To embarassed little boy: Liked your story
To kim and scott:Good story...liked it as usall..keep them upLinda
It was the trip that I had been waiting for all summer. Julie and Paula, my two best friends, and I were going to Traverse City. The more exciting part of this trip, however, was that Julie's older brother and his two friends were also going to be there. I had been infatuated with Greg , Julie's neighbor, for almost two years and I couldn't wait to spend a week in Traverse with him.
The car ride to Traverse City was four excruciating hours long. I had eaten Mexican food and had a stomachache for most of the ride. I was extremely uncomfortable and sick, but I could not wait to get there regardless of my intense pains. I would suffer through it for Greg. When we finally got to Traverse we saw all the boys sitting on the front deck.
They were there with three other relatively attractive young ladies. I will admit that at first, I was intimidated. The girls were all older than I. They were drinking and doing things I thought were "cool" but had yet to experience. I was only sixteen.
I decided to be brave and go outside to sit with them. After all, I had come to entice Greg into falling in love with me, right? I confidently strode out onto the deck and casually sat in a lounge chair draping my feet over the arm of the chair. I sat there, like that, my feet swinging and trying to act "cool and carefree", for about ten minutes. But, no one seemed to notice me and they were all sitting cross-legged, or feet planted on the ground. I decided to go with another tactic: I swung my feet around rather obnoxiously and was going to place them flat on the ground - yet, I was interrupted by a large exploding sound! It sounded as though a gun was shot. I was shocked, what caused this? As I sat there, feet now planted, I realized that the gunshot was really a large, unmistakable, smelly fart. My stomach felt much better. My ego did not.
I had farted probably the loudest fart anyone has ever heard. Seriously, I have heard some vociferous, deafening, and thunderous farts in my time. I have never heard anything like this. Not to mention the smell. Farts are notorious for being smelly, this Mexican-food-lovin' stink bomb was so awful that even I gagged.
As a reader I can only imagine your reaction to this mortifying story. I didn't even get to say, "Hi, how are you?" to my crush before my anus did the job. I can imagine that you are either laughing, feeling bad for me, or wondering why in the world I decided to pick this subject to write about: why do I was to tell you about the most embarrassing moment of my life? My main reason is that farting should not be an embarrassing event. It is not some sort of phenomenon that only happens to a select group of people. There is no gene that says some people fart and others do not. It is a medical fact that everyone farts. The cute guy in your Spanish class farts. The beautiful girl in Ulrich's behind the cash register farts. Cindy Crawford farts. Bill Clinton farts. Even the Pope farts. In fact, on average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts (Lorenz)! Why is something that happens to everyone in th! e world, fourteen times a day, still this humorous? Farts are probably the universal, age-defying, color-blind joke - no matter if you are 1 or 100, Black or White - farts are still funny. Why? Because people consider it taboo. No one talks about farts, but everyone farts. In order to fully exemplify how taboo the fart is, let me continue with my Traverse City tale.
After the explosion, I began to laugh. Not just any laugh either. I was hysterically laughing at my situation and myself. When I finally became conscious of the fact that I was the only person laughing, I began to laugh more. Did they not hear it? It was only the loudest fart ever. So I said, "Did you guys hear that? I just farted!" No one even smiled. Nobody responded to me. They were all so mortified and embarrassed for me that they couldn't even laugh at me. They all felt that bad. I found this especially funny: I just farted and they are seemingly more embarrassed for me than I am for myself. So I said, "What you guys have never farted before?" Greg just looked at me, disgusted, and replied, "Girls don't fart."
My story needs to come to a stop again to elaborate and expand on this "Girls don't fart" phenomenon. It appears to be an internationally accepted fact that women - petite, cute and clean as we all are - are incapable of farting. I would like to be the first women to proudly stand up and admit that I do fart. I fart often. I don't especially enjoy it, however, I would much rather fart than endure the intense pains a retained fart has the ability to cause. In truth, I did give men the benefit of the doubt: perhaps my Traverse City friends were part of an elitist, non-farting class of people. So I asked some other male friends. In fact, I recently had a "Farting Convention" to fully investigate my contemporaries' views on farts. I separated the men and the women and we talked for several hours. After two cases of Miller Light I finally convinced about 15 male friends that girls do fart. But they refused to agree with me that farting should not be taboo. Rather interestingl! y, they decided that men are not only allowed to fart, but should be proud of it. Women, on the other hand, should only fart when absolutely necessary and in private.
My friend Greg would have blended in well with my fart-friendly U of M pals. After his initial "Women don't fart" maxim, we proceeded to get into an argument. I told him we most certainly did and he just witnessed it. He replied that we shouldn't. I then looked to my friends, Julie and Paula for help: I received none.
As a disclaimer, Julie and Paula are not bad friends. On the contrary, they are amazing friends. They just felt so bad for me that they couldn't even respond. They just wanted me to shut up and forget about the whole thing. I want the reader to know that they both fart. I have heard it and smelled it before. Yet they sat there on that warm sunny Traverse afternoon and denied farting because they boys were around. Once again, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. They were younger and idolized these men. They would probably agree with anything they said. So, I brought this point up at the women's segment of the Farting Convention. I was again disappointed: my female friends claimed they all deny farting in front of men. In fact, many of them never actually fart in the presence of males. Amazingly, I had one Convention member endure intense stomach pains before farting at a recent party. I recall the friend leaving the party because she was "tired" only later to discover s! he was simply gaseous. Women will suffer abdominal and intestinal pains in order to mask to the world her need to perform a normal body function. This does not even begin to include the psychological pain women endure. Imagine this scenario: You are sitting in class and you have to fart. You try to "hold it in" but the air bubble becomes unbearable. You have an intolerable, yet perfectly natural, need to fart. You know you can't move because it will come out. You feel yourself getting red: does everyone know you have to fart? Can they see you tensing up under the immense stomach pressure? You hope it will pass. Sometimes it does. This time, it does not. You know you can't go to the bathroom because if you stand up it will come booming out. You try to maneuver the Release Pressure Fart . Hopefully you are successful, but usually not. The noise is not even the worst part. It is the smell. Everyone will smell it and know it is you! You can try the classic Fart-Denier tactic, "W! ho farted?" but that is often a dead give away. Personally, I get tense just writing about this experience. And to think it happens to every individual fourteen times a day! The emotional and psychological stress our society has needlessly created over an everyday, natural event is unreasonable to contemplate.
Furthermore, it hasn't always been like this. In fact, Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concerns for people's health. And rightfully so! Holding in farts brings nothing but negative repercussions. A Non-Farter can experience stomachaches, constipation, or even pathological distention of the bowel. What is the most peculiar is that the fart will have to come out at some point. The gas continuously builds up, so even Non-Farters fart. In fact, their farts are probably some of the loudest and biggest of all.
Many at the Convention offered up the objection that farts smell and it is rude and discourteous to fart in front of others. As a refutation I will discuss a similar marvel: defecating. This is another area in which many men have little to no qualms about discussing their desires. Women, unfortunately, are far more hesitant to discuss their need. In fact, during the Convention I had members admit that they would not go to the bathroom except in the privacy of their own home for fear of embarrassment. Some even stated that they would hold it for as long as possible on vacations. They would retain their excretion for days at a time making themselves uncomfortable, sometimes constipated, and gaseous rather than subjecting themselves to possible embarrassment. The women I interviewed told me of "horror" stories in which they absolutely had to excrete and they actually went into a public bathroom. During many of these frightening tales the women described themselves sitting t! here, on the toilet, trying to quickly go before they were "caught". They often were caught - or rather, another person entered the public restroom - and the women talked of patiently waiting in a state of terror. They actually used the word "terror". Why are we terrorized about doing something so natural? What are these women afraid of? The men had a completely different way of reacting to excreting. They were very open about the entire matter. Once again the men denied that women defecate. Although the main focus of this social scrutiny is to illustrate the ridiculousness in retaining farts to comply with society's norms, I felt the defecating example further illustrates humans, especially women's, hesitancy to act out on their needs and men's denial of those needs.
Let me now return to my farting tale one last time. After the initial flatulence, embarrassment, and female-flatulence denial, the Traverse City boys became quite comfortable with my farts (it was a bad week and I definitely exceeded 14 a day). Yet, I broke the "Farting Barrier" with them. We became comfortable with each other. We could warn each other of the upcoming fart, in case anyone wanted to leave the room. We all confessed to our farts. It was a comfortable environment in which I felt at one with my body and its needs. I have never again experienced this relaxed of an atmosphere is with this last unfortunate and unsurprising fact that I am calling for a Farting Revolution. I hope that one day, we will all be able to admit to our farts and warn others. There will no longer be Fart-Deniers. The SBD Club, Silent-But-Deadly, can be closed, or rather renamed to SBD-BK, Silent-But-Deadly-But-Known. Farting can become a serious competition. There are already extremely s! erious farters, like The Bad-Ass-Farters. These are the people who run into the room and proudly roar out of their anus in an explosive fit. This minority takes pride in their ability. Why are the rest of us so ashamed of our natural bodily functions? As Ben Franklins states in his book, Fart Proudly, "Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty…and fart proudly!"(Lorenz).
I know that the Farting Utopia I am requesting in which all can flatulate without embarrassment or anguish is a lot to ask of a reader. It will be difficult to be among the Farting Pioneers that are to lead this revolution. However, without the Revolution we are doomed to forever hold in our gas that causes us pain and psychological trauma. We are inhibited by something natural because society has told us it is not good to talk about. Everyone needs to be open with one another: Men, I commend you on your past openness; yet, I reprehend you on your naïve denial of the female anatomy. Women, I respect your kindness and ambition to control things that are out of your control, but I am ashamed of your hesitancy to accept your body in response to men and society.
Pioneers, I will not lead you blindly into an embarrassing state. I will guide you through this. I will lead the Revolution with more conventions offering possible reactions and refutations for you when you fart in public. This essay may seemingly look as a ridiculous satire on society and especially woman's need to conform, however….
I am serious. Fart. Shit. And start laughing.
Linda
unhappy brother-in-law
The first time I had an accident was at my wife's summer cabin when I was 16.We were'nt going together then but her brother and I were good friends and visited each other during the summer. There were no toilet facilities in the cabin and the outhouse was about 300 feet back in the woods. I became very constipated and my future mother-in-law gave me a large dose of castor oil. There were two chamber pots in the cabin which were used for emergencies. In the middle of the night I felt the first twinges of movement. I couldn't move. I knew I couldn't make it to the out house and I wasn't sure of where the chamber pot was. My future wife and her sister heard me fumbling around and got up to see what was going on. They lit the two oil lamps in the kitchen and asked what was wrong. I was totally embarassed and stood there in my underware trying to hold it in. I finally told them what was wrong and asked about the chamber pot. They went and got me the chamber pot but it was not qui! te in time. I did some in my briefs and barely got them down in time to do the rest in the chamber pot. The girls loved seeing me sitting there on the pot and were ecstatic about watching me have to clean myself, although they did go out to the pump and get me water. The next morning I was beet red as I carried the chamber pot to the out house to empty it. That was my first embarrassig moment with my future mother and sister-in-law. There have been many since.
Pico Tamale (The Butterfly)
Hey:
Jason, you are one lucky son of a gun! How often does Bridget poop? Have any-idea? Does she go more than once a day? The woman that I am w/, now, Denise, will not allow me to watch her. I already asked her,and she said that "some things are not meant to be shared!" You can imagine my-disappointment. Especially, since she is a fitness-model type, and we go to the gym, and work out together. I asked her if we could go to the toilets, together, and listen to each other, since the men's and ladie's rooms are back to back. Just like the story from Buzzy, not too long ago, when he did this w/ a lady that he sees @ his gym. She said "Hell-no!" Ross, I agree w/ you, man. That would be my dream come true, man! I would much-rather prefer the first-situation, to the second one. I would give a pro-athlete's "salary", if I had one, to be in that position! I am really-enjoying hearing about your teacher. She sounds like someone I would really enjoy watching. Hey, I don't eve! n get to watch my own-girlfriend, someone who I would also really enjoy watching. Oh-well, maybe one day she will forget to flush, or something (yeah-right!), and I will be able to catch a glimpse of one of her "creations", @ that-time. Tell her "hi", from Pico, will ya? Why don't you suggest a buddy-dumping session w/ her, next. One where both of you are on the can, @ the same time, dumping. Either she in your lap (preferable), or you in her's? Let us know if you do, and, if so, how it went. Special hellos to Bridget(Jason's teacher), Roger&Angela, Jane, and Kathy(R.Jogger's wife. Where have you two been, lately, anyway?).
Until next-time,
Pico
CC
PV - You mentioned the show 'Fire'. I used to watch that show and I remember one episode where one of the male fire fighters was on the loo when the alarm bell went off! They showed him from the waste up reading a magazine if I recall correctly.
Another sighting I had was on 'Absolutely Fabulous' last week. This is the newest series. Edwina (Jennifer Saunders) was entertaining a male guest in her bedroom. She walked into the ensuite bathroom to find Patsy (can't remember her real name!) on the toilet. Patsy gets up to get out of view of the bedroom (and the male guest) and she gets into the bath with a curtain around it. You see her squatting down and she says "I haven't exactly finished yet" so Edwina gets her the toilet roll.HI All again
Too Kendal thanks for that it was great,8 mins hey well thats because you put in an extra effort for and i'm very greatfull.Thanks alot if you have any stories that would be great if you want and don't mind i'll try to think of some for you too in fact i'll put one below about me.
To Jane wow you take so long it makes you late for class (loved your story buy the way) does it always take this long and how long if you dont ind me asking sounds impressive.
Too All I asked if anyone has habbits or storys about methods or attempts or habits of drowning out noises please could i have responses it was due to a Japanees invention i posted about designed to drown out noises.
A Quick hello to Jill HOPE THERE GOOD AND STINKY STILL GOOD HEALTH
Now a story it happened in SRi Lanka where toilet paper is a commodity that you have to ask for. I had been there a couple of days wiyh my freind visiting a sri Lanken freind of ours. I got the runs which in Sri Lanka is no surprise.It first hit in the AA bar a bar for AA (you know the car repair people )members and there guests. When the first wave hit i rushed to the Gents which were filthy and rank smelling ( you know gag the split second you walk in type stink) made worse by the open urinals where the flow of wee from the urinal is through an open pipe, and the cubicles (stalls for our American freinds)were in a terrible state but there was nothing i could do but go so i droped my trousers as little as possible and let out a torrant of diharrea already gagging from the smell that was in there before which i was quickely making a damnsite worse. Having finished can't remember how long i took this was 1994 i found there was no toilet paper just a bowl and a tap so relu! ctently as I was very messy i filled the bowl with water which i poured into my bum as i bent over using my hand ( this is how the locals do it). I managed to get out without chucking up but it was close and i was suprised. After we met up wiyh our local friends mates they took us to the international cricket ground for drinks home end. Now i was told in advance that here you had to ask behind the bar for tp ( i dont know if the visitors end is the same probably not) so i hopped i'd be alright, no suh luck and it was all i could do to get to the bar to ask for paper which i tried to do discreetly, the bar man did not understand( either that or he was sadistic)my Sri lanken friend saw my distress and said loudly laughing (bashfullness and subtlety do not exist there) he neeeds toilet paper he's got the shits. So I said thanks a ******* bunch(well there's kids on this forum so i toned it down a bit) as i got to the so called toilet not as bad as before but bad enough small an! d cramped aswell by the way it was one toilet stall no urinals one toilet that was it,the lock on the door had come off and the door didn't shut properly so i crouched with my leg against the door my leg getting cramp spasms and as i was there a long time every ow and then stoping some opening the door which was hard as most kept tryng not getting the fact the toilet was engaged by the resistence on the other side.Twice resistance really was futile as 2 people got in many people saw me and laughed probably because i was embarrassed ( how do you embarrass a Sri Lanken cause i'm buggered if i know?).The runs carried on into Singapore that part iv'e posted about already, it's ok though i laugh about it now, you need a good sense of humor with Srilankens but there great and i had a great time.
Well sorry it was a long one tonight take care London Lad
p.s hope you all liked my story especially Kendal and Andrew
Rizzo
Hi, all you valiant toileteers!
I have been less busy this week; good.
JEFF A. Are you Ok?
Dear INA, are you still with us? Any more standing pee stories?
TIM and SARAH, how are the two of you getting along?
MICKEY, great family wee by the roadside! Please post again!
KIM and SCOTT what a buddy dump! You must have one of those long toilet bowls for you to be able to get your logs to fall in and not miss!
Hi PUNK ROCK GIRL! I like the way you wrote that the pros and contras of being a woman or a man eventually even out. You sound like a very mature, matter of fact, down to earth no nonsense girl. Although you described yourself as a goth chic with long dark hair, tatoos, piercings, the works, in my imagination looking exotic and as fragile, tall and as austere as a gothic cathedral, you, like such an edifice, seem to me resilient and built on solid foundations. And I do like your posts!
Now having mentioned piercings…..
Would you believe that I once suggested to my father-in-law to have his ears pierced? It came about like this:
My wife and I had taken her parents for a sail. It got rough outside the harbour, and I asked if my in-laws were feeling all right. Yes, they answered, perfectly OK. It was not much later that my father-in-law suddenly leaned his head over the side of the boat and vomited his breakfast coffee and rolls to the fishes! He held his hand with his fingers spread open in front of his face to catch his dentures, which flew out of his mouth, dislodged by the sour surge of his “technicolour yawn”. Later, back in calm waters, after he had recovered somewhat, I suggested he had his ear lobes pierced. Then he could wear his upper false teeth attached to a little gold chain which would lead out of the corner of his mouth to one ear, the lower false teeth the same way to the other ear via the other corner of his mouth. In case of him having to throw up, his dentures would remain dangling from the ears on each side of his face - he would never again have to fear losing them.
He is a good man, he laughed heartily at my suggestion.
GRUNTLY BOGWELL, what a surprise to find a gorgeous peeping episode by my favourite author of voyeuristic short stories! Great to see you back after you had announced that you would leave us! I sincerely hope that your exciting contributions will appear from time to time in future…
BIGD, I quite agree with you, a bidet with or without sprinkler is by far better than wiping with just paper. Especially on the day after having enjoyed hot Mexican or Thai or Indian or whatever food. Warm water is soothing. On such occasions it caresses my inflamed hole rather than rasping it even more sore.
Hello LAWN DOGS KID, good to see that you still manage to spare some time for us. Poor Ellen suffering from the puke’n’poo bug! Isn’t it strange, that when you see someone vomiting, it makes you feel sick too? It happens to me just like it did to you when Ellen vomited all over you. Funnily enough I only feel sick by just looking when on land. When on the boat, it does not affect me as much. That may be because I am the one who unually does the cleaning up on board the boat, because I am the one who has never become seasick …. so far – I sometimes question myself if my luck will hold! So Ellen was thrilled to bits by my little message just for her, was she? She was meant to be! I wanted to make her curious enough for her to make the effort to read it herself.
It seems that Ellen is literally quite attached to Kendal for you to have to prise her off! Seeing your new little sister being taken care of by your cousin should give you some moments of respite, if you want it to be so. Love to you from Rizzo.
Hi KENDAL, dearest on-line niece! You are becoming auite experienced in cleaning up sick little girls. Then it was Emily, now Ellen.
It is certainly not only London Lad who enjoyed your detailed poo on the toidy! Great style you have developed! Must be the practice you get here ;-)
Thanks for your gentle hug! My back is fine again, if I do not lift things that are too heavy and with my back bent. As long as you poo regularly, you will not become too heavy, I hope. Puzzled? Just read Alana’s last story and you will know what I mean. On the other hand, you are still growing to become a bigger girl than you are now; so I promise to take extra care to be able to give you big lift-up hugs in future too. So here’s a test hug to see if I am ok again…….Uhhhhhnnngggg! (no, I didn’t poo, it’s just that you must have grown bigger in the meantime, even if your sky blue dress still fits you!) Ah! I think it should do! Love to you from your Uncle Rizzo, and I hope that you will be spared the barfs and runs Ellen had.
Hello ROBBY, thanks for enquiring about my wife; she is fine.
If you ever manage to video Meghan playing her cello while enthroned on the porcelain bowl, do not forget the sound effects! A tiled bathroom should give super echoes! If she feels a bit embarassed about this, let her wear one of those Venetian masks to wear, so no-one will recognise her! Cheers to you my dear friend, Rizzo
Hi ANNIE, dear, your story of the cheerleaders getting the shits made me laugh! That must have truly been fast food in every sense of the phrase! Love to you from Rizzo
Hi LOUISE, so your bath tub is of the corner version in order to fit four (apalling spelling in my last post to you; was I thinking about fourskins? LOL) So your bladder fits 1.2 litres. I think you had mentioned that before. It probably fits more, but 1.2 litres is the filling which will finally trigger your squeeze out muscles so much, that it becomes impossible to hold on longer I suppose. I think that I would be on the verge of wetting myself at half that amount. I once peed into a half litre bottle in my private office toilet (I do not have that job anymore; the toilet including the rest of the premises have been sold) when I really needed to pee after a good amount of coffe in the morning. I filled the bottle, stopped, poured it out, and managed to fill it half again. That makes 0.75 litres of very urgent pee. But at the time when I had had my appendix removed, I had difficulty in peeing; I just felt painfully full without needing any effort to “hold” it in. It to! ok a long time to start, then I filled the bed bottle quite far up to the neck, and I think that those bed bottles hold 1.5 litres. So I, too, must have had about 1.2 litres in there. You say your flow rate is 40 cubic cintimetres per second. That would be your maximum, I suppose. A good gusher for certain. But on the other hand, if it takes you about 100 seconds to pee 1.2 litres, the gusher would be a thinner stream on average when the bladder sort of “gathers up its folds” as it contracts. Anyway, I always enjoy to read your pee escapades. Love from Rizzo
ALLEY CAT, I certainly do wish to read more of your stories!
JASON, great story of Bridget giving you such a show. You’re one lucky guy!
A HUMILIATING REVENGE, it sure was! That must have been awful for, but soooo good to read!
LILLY MOON, could that flattened shit have been one that had escaped into the panties, been squashed flat, and then shaken out into the toilet?
CC, that job interview must have been the laxative!
UPSTATE DAVE, I liked your story of Marty and Nachelle having their first buddy pee in the wild.
OK, so here’s another boat story:
This happened a long time ago, when I took part in a sail training programm. We were on an excursion under sail with four sailing yachts of about six tons displacement each. It was my first trip as skipper on board something bigger than an open sailing dinghy, because the others in my group had only faint notions about boat handling and sailing. Today this is called flotilla sailing. With me on board were three other young men: Roly was chubby, freckled and with stubbly short fair hair. He immediately admitted to know next to nothing about sailing, so I asked what he could do. Mix the drinks, was the answer. OK, so we had a barman, a very important person :-) Beppo, tall, thin and dark haired volunteered to do the cooking, and small and wiry looking Mark wanted to have a go at navigation; but secretly I decided to navigate in parallel myself, just in case he goofed, because I was responsible for the safety of everybody’s lives and for the boat.
So the four boats set sail and drifted more than sailed with a very weak breeze towards our destination for the day. Soon we had our jumpers off because the sun became quite intense. We were all unanimous that it was time for our barman to demonstrate his skills! We had seventy proof vodka (!!!), blended Jamaica rum and orange concentrate as well as coke and beer. We in the cockpit called for vodka-orange juice in tall glasses, and these were duly handed out to us from the galley-cum-bar down below. Aaaah! To a successful trip! I took a mouthful, turned my head, and spat everything vehemently over the side! ‘Byurghgh! Roly, report on deck immediately! What is this stuff? Look! There over the side! Even the jellyfish are fleeing!’ Indeed they were. Because the boat was almost motionless in the water due to a momentary failure of the breeze, yellowish clouds of orange, the remains of a mouthful of that vile cocktail, could still be seen next to the boat. The sea was full ! of thousands upon thousands of jellyfish – from two inches across to larger specimens of ten to twelve inches. All transparent with softly pulsating canopies, each showing four round pale rings. Some of these had folded the rim of their canopies upward, like an umbrella turned inside out by a gust of strong wind, after encountering the rest of my drink, and were disappearing into the murky depths. Roly had mixed the orange concentrate and the vodka at a ratio he called fifty-fifty. No water! Well, another glass for each one of us and a big jug of water was passed up on deck to dilute the stuff. It was such a pity to throw it away. So we sipped our drinks, now passable in taste and lazed in the sun.
It didn’t take long before Beppo started to look around and to fidget. ‘Which one of you can remember how the loo works?’ ‘It’s called the head and not the loo, and why don’t you just pee over the side?’ That was Mark. ‘The people on the beach over there do not know your name; so who cares.’ OK, Beppo got up, so did Roly and Mark. I took the helm because I knew how to manoeuvre under sail in case anything happened. The three walked forward on the side away from the populated beach, turned to the sea, fumbled with their zippers and soon the first arcs of pee splattered into the water. ‘Hold your fire – uh – I mean hold your water! Look, the jellyfish are sounding when you pee on them!’ came one of their voices. Soon they were all three of them scampering from one side of the boat to the other, releasing a quick squirt of pee here, and another spurt there, trying to make as many jellyfish dive as possible. In between the spurts they were holding their willies in front of t! hemselves with one hand and using their other to steady themselves when they moved around the deck, dodged under the mainsail boom or looked out for the next target. Their antics reminded me of the goings on in the monkey’s cage at the local zoo after a warden had handed out some bananas. Soon the boat began to rock, the sails to flap. ‘Hey guys, look over there! In front of us! It is an enourmous one! It will need a broadside to sink it!’ This was immediately followed by them lining themselves up in a row along the lifelines; it happened to be the side facing the beach. ‘We’ll let go when I say fire! Steady your aim, wait, wait, let it come closer, OK, FIRE!’ Three arcs of pee plunged seawards. With a cheer the three of them shuffled along the side deck, peeing all the time, to keep up with the target drifting past. They had to stop at the foresail sheet winch. I looked over the side; indeed, there was a big one about two feet across, of a dull orange colour, its canopy fli! pped upwards and already seeking to get away into the safe depths.
With a noise like someone clearing their throat with their head in a metal bucket our VHF radio came to life. It was the flotilla leader. He was calling us. What were we up to? Why were our sails flapping? Did we have any problems? Answer: no, we were just having a little competition as to who could sight the biggest jellyfish. We were to stop such nonsense and concentrate on keeping the boat under way in this weak breeze. (We had no engine, only the flotilla leader’s boat had one)
Whew! A good thing that the flotilla leader’s boat was further out, on the off-side to our last effort, and that he had not seen our ‘broadside’ through his binoculars!
Peaceful toilet sessions to all, Rizzo
Louise
PV - Hi girl! I will have to write a proper letter tomorrow or
Friday because I am very busy this evening. I have 5 minutes and
then I have to go.
Hey that hot weather will give you excuses to wee in funny places
won't it? LOL
I know what you mean about the grids in front of the wall urinals
and wearing heeled shoes. I like heeled shoes and it would be
hard for me to stand with confidence that I would not get my heel
stuck!
Hehehehe I do not think the guys are silly enough to let their
willies slip out of their fingers and spray the floor. I think it
is just a bit of untidy weeing and stepping back from the urinal
before they have finished. It is like too much trouble just to stay
standing there until they have finished dripping it all. Yeah,
you are so right. I mean I stay still until I have properly
finished and you do too. Men should have more patience and just
finish weeing properly before stepping back.
Yeah that show was called "Fire"! Yeah that's it. Yeah I just
remember one bit when it showed this girl's bare bum in the shower
and one of the guys just stood there having a chat with her. It
just made me think the toilets may be the same sort of thing. It
is an exciting thought.
Yeah I bet we would look very good together in our dresses weeing
against the wall. I do like wearing heels and with them on I look
nearly 6 feet tall really so I hope I would not make you look
little. Well it would help me wee higher up the wall wouldn't it?LOL
I have been doing some more modelling of lingerie, bras and knickers,
that sort of thing. Really nice but sexy things to wear, just what
I like wearing myself really. It may be I will do more because I
am with an agency now because they liked me.
I will have to tell you about the other thing I have been doing as
well in my next letter.
Love,
Louise.)Plunging Plop Guy
Hi, Everyone,
I reported my constipated shit the other day, and wondered why it was like that. The next day, it was a bit easier but I had to go four times that day, and usually quite urgently.
Then yesterday, I went five times, very urgently, and my anus was very sore again.
Today; a constipated shit, that was again slightly painful, and when i finished there was blood.
Fortunately, I think I know why all this is happening; I was prescribed a course of antibiotics a few days ago, and this is a side effect.
The same thing happened about 3 years ago, imediately after a course of anti-biotics, so it seems more than coincidence.
Has anyone else experienced pronounced bowel changes when prescribed drugs, and has it usually settled down soon afterwards?
When it happened before, I made the mistake of exacerbating the problem by increasing my fibre intake to such an extent I was almost unable to pass this soft shit, as I've mentioned before, so any similar experiences people might share would be appreciated.
JIM, Interested to read how appreciative you are of this forum and that you actually said it had changed your life.
I almost used the same phrase, but thought it might sound corny, but yes, it has had a big efect on my life!
I found this particular site by accident, having seen a recommendation by someone on another toilet site, and I had to pinch myself to make sure I was really reading the sort of thing I had long hoped for!
I kept reading all these posts from people, many of whom were actually on an identical wavelength as myself.
I hope you feel, as I do, that this is a community that is both very supportive, and where so much that many of us have had to keep quiet about for so long, can be shared and give much pleasure and interest to so many others.
I would love to be able to meet everyone here in person, and there's a lot of guys here I'd love to be shitting with, and be able to talk with as though I'd known you all for years, but that is the one thing we are unable to do. Anyway, with our anonymity, is our safety and security from those who might identify us, so hope you will continue feeling at home here.
Something I thought interesting on an ad. on TV today was where David Beckham, the footballer is talking to his wife and she says "You did really well today!" He replies, "I was only of for ten minutes."
Naturally, I imagined what it was that he might have been "on" for ten minutes!
Pleasant and healthy toilet sessions to you all! P. Plop GuyRobby
Hi Toidyteers!
Annie is at school and I am sitting here with my assistant and friend Barbara. She is still amazed at the stories that are posted on here.
We have a story from our trip to Canada. We were in our hotel and decided to go to dinner. The restaurant was very elegant so, of course, we had to dress(formal). We were joined by a society leader and her husband. Late in the dinner she and Barbara excused themselves to "powder their noses". Take it away Barb! I'm Barbara - When she and I reached the toidy we went into adjacent stalls. I had on a long dress so I had to gather all the material over my ????. I heard this terrific rumbling next door and there was an explosion of farts and plops. The woman started moaning. I crouched over, did a little fart, and a nice piece came out. Meanwhile next door, the other woman was starting her second wave of farts and plops. It really started to stink in there. I had to get out so I peed and wiped. I told her I would meet her in the toilet lounge. She just whimpered. The ladies in the lounge and I were serenaded by farts and plops for the next 5 minutes. She finally came out loo! king just as regal as she had gone in. A little paler! Geez, I can't believe I just told that! Hope you like it. Now back to Robby
DEAR KENDAL AND ANDREW: What a marvelous minute-by-minute fart, wee, and plop story. You are such an entertaining writer, Kendal! An instant replay for London Lad! Aunty Annie read it before she left for school and loved it. I will save it for Meghan when she arrives. Both you and Andrew write so well. Barbara agrees with me and says hi! I am proud. 3 loos in the house. At least you have an "escape" route to each loo!!
I hnow you both did well on your half term exams. By-the-way, Sarah sends her love and she misses both of you. Give a hug to ELLEN for us! She is a jewel. Take care! Lots of Lovexxxx and big hugs, Uncle Robby and Barbara
DEAR LOUISE AND STEVE: Ha, you had better cook him something good. A man can't perform well on an empty stomach,LOL!! So, you are modeling again, Louise? You must give Steve.....oh well,LOL!! I want to tell you that Sue had a potty chair that is taken on camping trips. On one of these trips, she had to poo and proceeded to wade right into the water, set the chair down, and plop her bottom down on the seat. Mind you, this was in plain sight of 10 campers. She bore down and shit started coming out of her arse. All this time she was reading the racing forms,LOL! The people were either stunned or transfixed. It was bloody amazing. Now, Annie wants to wee in the shower for a virtual audience. I will let you know. Take care, you two!! Lovexxx Robby (and Barbara)
DEAR PV: Hi gal!!! So, it is getting warmer, huh? Aren't you on the beach? If Annie has anything to say she would tell you that us blokes don't aim. We just swing our willies ever such way!! She says she is careful when she uses a urinal! I wonder if the lady who won the gold medal for the Aussies in Arials wees standing up? She might be a bonafide WSPCer. We think you are special, too!! Lovexxxxx Robby (Annie and Barbara)
TODD AND DIANA: Good to hear from you. Yes, we are doing just fine. Congratulations on the twins. I know you will find them a joy through the years. We still read on the toidy. I read the paper or mag. Annie reads a book(John Grisham). We don't know what the girls do now. Keep with us! We enjoy you! Lovexxxx Robby (and Annie, Barbara)
JANE AND GARY: Hi folks! That was a "whopper" of a cheerleading story. If you will read our last post, there is a story about Sarah on one of her cheerleading trips. It seems that cheerleaders have the loudest and biggest poos. We know this from what KIM experiences. We enjoy you lots!
Lovexx Robby(Annie and Barbara)
DEAR INA: Hi sweetheart! Here is a designing project. The ultimate loo. Lavish in its ornate fixtures and walls. Alabaster and marble. I'll let you take it from here. We hope you are ok. We hope to hear from you, soon. We also hope your poos are not painful now! Lots of Lovexxx and a hug, Robby (Annie and Barbara)
DEAR RIZZO: Hello, my dear friend! Hope your back is better. When are you leaving for the mainland? Meghan is lurking into other toidy sites. I told her to be selective and not get into the really nasty ones. Sarah sends her love. My wees and poos are dreadfully regular. A ruddy bore,haha! Write when you can. Lots of Lovexx from Robby(Annie and Barbara)
LINDAGS: Hi there! Glad to see you back. What a story. Funny, too!! Sarah, Meghan and Annie send their love! Lovexx Robby(and Barbara)
Barb is telling me tis time to get back to the job!
GREETINGS TO: Rjogger and Kathy, Dear Tim and Sarah-hi there!, Carmalita and Jake, Pat, Renee, Nu, Kim and Scott, Bryian, Adrian, Ephermal, Adele, Erin, Meredith and MANDY, Upstate Dave, Plunging Plop Guy, Althea, Aaron, Jeff A, Melanie, Mayla, Alley Cat, Gruntly Bogwell-great to hear from you! David and Niki, Elena, Ellie and Little Lou-hope you are still there!
CHEERS TO ALL!!!
ROBBY
Eleanor
Dearest Kendal and Andrew,
I'm doing absolutely fine, and my brother really has been as good as gold to me ever since that day. If anything, he is the one going through the wars now. His so called mates aren't interested in him anymore since he can no longer lay on his little sister for a peep show on the toilet ! But as he says, he can do without mates like that, and I am so glad to have back the good and kind brother I used to have. In fact, he was going to post here about our talk, but I stopped him. I thought it might provoke an adverse response from all the kind people who looked after me here. But then, perhaps I should have let him. It would certainly have been interesting to see responses, and what he had to say for himself. I was completely gobsmacked when I read your latest post ! I couldn't believe you had the nerve to write and tell London Lad all about that wee and poo you had, just like he was there watching you. I nearly died. There's no way I could do that. I still think its kin! d of private you know. However, I suppose I could tell you about the first time I went to the toilet for a poo after my brother and I had talked. It was the next day, and no one was in the house when I got home. I dashed for the bathroom as this one had been "cooking" all afternoon ! I think it must have been like Linda GS's, very long and smooth, and it was very satisfying having it, until I heard the front door open. Then the poo just stopped in its tracks. In the house on my own, I hadn't even shut the bathroom door, and with a long length of poo hanging out my bottom, I couldn't get up to shut it. I cringed and waited to see who I would be exposed to now. But fortunately, it was only my brother. And really it was quite funny. He rushed up the stairs, and stormed into the bathroom (desperate for a wee) and found me sitting on the toilet. He nearly jumped out of his skin, was so apologetic, explaining that he hadn't meant to see me on the toilet, and then, and this was so! cute, he closed his eyes tight shut, walked backwards to the door, and pulled it shut behind him so I could see that he genuinely hadn't meant to look at me. What a dear ! And especially as it was completely my fault for leaving the bathroom door open !! I hope you and Andrew are well, and are having fun and games on holiday. Its half term in Lincoln as well. By the way, my Dad has just had an interview for a job. He will hear in a couple of days if he has got it or not. But if he does, it will be in Devon !! I'm not sure I really want to move from Lincoln, but it would be kinda cool to think that I would be living somewhere closer to you and Andrew. Still, he might not get it. Anyway, bye for now, and I'll come back soon. I love having you two as my friends. Lots of love, Eleanor xxxxxxxxx
Also, just to say a special hi to Steve and Louise. You'll see from what I've written above that things are now fine for me. I won't ever forget how kind you two were to me. Nor everyone else who took the time to write to me as well. Love Eleanor xx
Wednesday, February 20, 2002