Linda GS
Punk Rock Girl
To answer your questions:
1. According to my cousin..one time I pooped in an alley, but he held me so my tushie was over the edge of a dumpster and I... heh heh took a "dump" in there...I also peed. I kind recall it but not much of it. That has to be the oddest place I've ever done that in.
2.Yes I always leave the door open when somone else is home..like Elena or my cousin..however if we have cimoany the dor is closed and locked.
3.45 Minutes? Why? Becasue Elena and My cousin had gone out to by paper and wlel what was I gonna do but sit there and wait?(This happened last month really.)
4.Tough to answer really.. but I'd say my cousin..he's seen my poop and pee more than anyone..and even though I've grown up and am I little shy nowadays..he's still the one I trust more hands down.(As long as I'm not naked on the toidy..then.. wlel I'll blush a bit more..but well it's cause I'm naked and would perfer NOT to be seen. And also.. I picked him because I don't live near Kendal or Eleanor.. then I'd have picked them..even naked I suppose..but I'd still be blushing)
5. EEEK!! I'll pass on this one!! I hope that NEVER happens!!!!
Okay there ya go.. hope I did well..sorry about the last one but to me..that's a nightmare.But if push came to shove..I'd try to hold it as logn as I can..and I'd probably end up going in my pampies... sorry but well I'd keep some of my dignity and I wouldn't let on it was happening..shoot I'd even try to find a place to le tit happen in private or as private as I can.
Eleanor
Once again I'm seated in our discussion room. hee hee. well actually it's rather nice that you trust me so much. I too would do everything to help you go..and if need be..I'd leave and give you privacy so it would happen. My..how long did it take to get out. That sounded like a mean poop. I sorta envy Kendal for witnessing such a thing. sorry just I'm always curious if others have a major poop just like me. Oh it was okay with my cousin and the babies.... I had another major poop with them around..cept this time I told my cousin I was having trouble with him around..he sorta looked at me for a bit and said..sorry..then left. i told him kendal and Lynda could remain..and boy did they. I don't mind my cousin seeing me..just it's kinda hard when I'm naked. Hope to talk to you soon.
XOXO
Linda
Matthew C
I'm 18, male and slim (5ft 10 and just under 9 stones).
Needed a dump real bad at work this morning. Was serving customers so had to wait until they'd gone. Rushed into gents thank god a free trap - getting so near "touching cloth".
Undid belt, trousers and boxers down sat on toilet - soooo good. (I hadn't needed to crap since Saturday (now Monday and I normally go every day).
Took ages four mega long turds then another 5 or 6 smaller lumps all really loud plops (two lads came in for a pee, must have heard my activities and one said to the other "god someone really needed to shit". Finally emptied myself, on putting my hand under bum to wipe my hole found my shirt was down inside seat and bowl (in my rush). Inspection. Nightmare!! Brown heavy duty skid mark down bottom two inches of centre of shirt, also wet from splashback. Sods law meant gents were busy when I was ready to emerge from trap so couldn't try to clean up. Hope for best! Washed hands and back into the store. Given third degree by Floor Manager - where's u been? I said "on toilet". He said u should say b4 u go. May's well still be at school!
Served more customers and one lady said what's that smell - like someone trod in something. I realised it was my shirt - bad even for me and it was my own smell. By end of shift at 13.00 everybody was holding their nose and Floor Manager made it worse by saying "Young Matthew's just been 4 a shit and asking me "did you forget to wipe your bum?"
Total red face. Has this happened to anyone else?
Nick
Recently, I had a real embarrassing restroom experience. It was a warm fall evening and I was in an Arby's with some buddies. Well, right there, I had to take a dump. One of the unfriendliest of public shitting places is a fast food joint, but Arby's was so unpopular, I risked it. In the Men's, I found that the only stall had a door, but no latch to keep it closed. In the throes of "having to dump," I delicately set the door as near to the closed position as I could. I then pulled down my pants and briefs and sat on the crapper. In a moment, three of my buddies came in to piss and, as a joke, one of them, Mike, kicked in the door of my stall. They stood there laughing at me for a while, but I didn't mind since we're accustomed to seeing one another on the crapper. They then left the restroom. I was just beginning to release my turds, but I pulled the reflex and leaned forward and shoved the door back. Unfortunately, it swung past its neutral closed position to rest wide op! en away from me. By now I had a large log coming out of my asshole. So I let it be. And wouldn't it happen that a man in a suit walks in to see me shitting with the stall door wide open. I had nothing to do but accept this fate and hope he was not going to call the cops, or ask me out! Anyone else have any embarrassing restroom experiences to report?
wetguy
A couple things today...
It seems that whenever I am done peeing and put my dick away, several more drops come out after i get it in. A small spot sometimes forms on my pants and it could be easily mistaken that I started to piss my pants before making it to the bathroom. This is especially embarrasing when i'm in a situation where i dont want to wet my pants. I've noticed that it;s particularly a problem when i wear something like windpants, where there's no zipper. Today i peed wile wearing a pair and when i was done a few drops still came out and ran all the way down my leg. Luckily, nothing showed this time. Any guys have this happen to them??
Today our football team, which is OK, had an afternoon game and it was terrible weather out. I help the team with equipment and stuff like that. It was pouring rain and windy out, and everyone quickly became soaked. Anticipating the bad weather i wore a pair of windpants and a sweatshirt. About halfway through the game, I started to have to piss real bad. However, i can't just leave the field to pee whenever i want, so i had to hold it, which became increasingly difficult. One time when i was briefly away from the team getting something, I got a strong urge to piss, and an idea. I looked down at the front of my pants, and they were soaked with rainwater. It looked like I had already pissed my pants totally. Seeing as there was no way i would be able to hold it 'til the end of the game, I decided to go in my pants a little, since they were already wet. So i let go and whizzed in my pants for about 5 seconds. I stopped when i could see the piss distinctly showing up on my ! pants. I still had to go pretty bad, but i had peed enough such that I could hold it until the game was over. Just for fun though, I let out a couple more squirts of pee after my big wetting had pretty much dried. It was fun to be able to be peeing my pants a little without anyone being able to notice! Anyone else ever do this??
-wetguy
Adrian
Cara. Hi and welcome! You're not alone in needing to wee quite frequently. So long as there isn't an underlying medical cause such as diabetes or a urinary tract problem, the need to wee fairly frequently isn't abnormal in itself and certainly isn't anywhere as uncommon as you might think. I've always had a fairly weak bladder and if I can last for 3 or 4 hours I've done well. It's not unusual for me to last 2 hours or less. Cold weather such as we're experiencing today in my part of the world exacerbates the problem. You say that you generally get until you're one the verge of wetting. Do you always get to the toilet on time though or do you sometimes wet your pants? I'd love to know.
Steve and Louise. Unfortunately I missed 'Tarrant on TV' the other night. It sounds as though it was good and I hope they repeat it sometime.
Melissa. Awkward moments come to all of us but I think squatting in those bushes by the canal was perhaps preferable to filling your pants. It was without doubt the lesser of two evils.
Best wishes to all
Adrian
Matthew
I am extremely curious about something and hopefully some of you might give me your thoughts. There's a guy at work who's about thirty, attractive, very well groomed, who every day, without fail, takes a dump consisting of very mushy turds. After the quick release of the mush, he then urinates, and then takes a huge clump of TP and wipes from behind. He always, without fail, wipes only once. I have been in the bathroom at least fifty times over the past three years when he has done his business and never, ever, has he wiped more than once. I can only surmise that he doesn't care, or is unaware of the mess in his underwear. By the way, his underwear is usually dark navy blue or black. I know that I (who have similarly mushy stools) need to wipe endlessly until I'm clean. If I wiped only once, it would be a horror show. I guess my question is: is this common? Do others not care about the cleanliness of their hole? Perhaps, because of the dark briefs, he's unaware of ! the skid marks? Or perhaps he wears the dark briefs because he doesn't want to see the mess? Or perhaps there are no skidmarks because of his anatomy (he does have a very shapely rear)? This is a person who is meticulous about his appearance, always wears clean and nicely pressed clothes, and seems to be very up on personal hygiene in every other respect. I would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this matter.
Miami Doud
Hey everybody! Check on old toilet posts page 1, the first story,{will my 11 year old ever be potty trained} that dude needs to check on his thing. it says "before i was panties if i were you, they look clean" see man i ain't be able to finish that story and its a good one too! Any way, like this other guy said, plop up some stories from your childhood poop in pants experiences. those turn most people on!
Todd & Diana
Just a few questions for the ladies!
1. Have you ever taken a dump in somebody's house where you took a long time?
2. Have you ever had to open the window, turn on the fan and or spray the bathroom after you dumped in sombeody's house, other than your own?
3. Have you ever read a magazine or anything while taking a dump in somebody's house, other than your own?
Here is a thought. Diana and I were thinking that it would be so cool if we could trade places for a week. I would be a girl and she would be a guy. I would like to experience having a vagina and see what is like to take a dump from a females point of view. I think it would be so easy and very awesome, because females all they do is sit on the toilet and let it fly, they don't have to worry about going on the floor or in there pants. So advantage ladies! Diana would like to experience from a guys point of view. Well tell us what you think and we have to go now because the babies need mommy and daddy. Lots of Lovexxxxxxxx Todd and Diana!
Hello all first in answer to prg's survey
1. (Two parter) What's the weirdest place you've ever a) peed, and b) taken a dump? Explain. answ a) Outside a pub the bouncers wouldn't let me use the toilet before i left despite the money my friends and i spent there and i was bursting and could not wait 2 miles til home i'm not proud of it but i was drunk so i pee'd in an alcove by the door way when i was caught i told the bouncers and the manageress what i thought of them and nearly got into a fight with a few bouncers but didn't ( not many public toilets in this paart of london)
answ b) in a rubbish bag i was doing agency work cleaning council estate bin sheds basically i was busting so i shit in one black bin liner wiped on 2 others which i put in the first and tied and put it ion a skip for rubbish to be incinerated.
2. Do you ever leave the door open when on the toilet if someone else is home? If so, how often? Quite often if only dad and i are home he is bed ridden more or less due to being elderly and chronically emphaseamic so he is unlikely to see me but if any body else is there whilst im torpedoing the toilet never for piss i dont care and hardly ever bother shutting the door.
3. After having taken a crap, what's the longest you've ever gone without wiping your ass and why? answ when having the runs in Africa i shat myself and had no toilet paper i could not wipe for about 3 hours
4. Who would you be most comfortable with seeing you taking a crap? (e.g. husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/father, brother/sister, etc.) Why? I prefer no one but i would not mind my mates too much some of them have seen me but not if it can be avoided
5. Hypothetical situation. You're at an outdoor event. You desperately have to take a shit. You're in a dense crowd. There is no way you can make it to the bathroom in time. You're going to shit right now. Do you a) shit your pants, or b) drop trou and shit on the ground? Why?
answ My pants and i hope no body notices i would hate for a non friend to see me shit on the ground besides an adult would probably get nicked for over here in England even an accident well probably.BTW how are you PRG well i hope your well? weird dump indeed wow sounds like you dump huge can i ask are you noisy vocal and log wise sorry if ive asked before take care p.s hows the punking going still keeping the faith i hope, any CLASH on your songs list.
Katrina welcome to this very freindly site im 31 male English London to be presise and a Clash fan-atic wow 3 inches thick 9 inches long i know your new but can i ask if this is normal size for you whats an average dump of yours like i can reach 9 inches long plus and over 3 inches thick by the way occasionaly like tonight please see below and welcome
Bethany hi glad you got it all out eventually was this a normal size or
just due to days of compact crap just wondering i dont post as often now as i used to so keepem coming ( i mean stories) i have heard how things pertaing to womans anatomy, ok were adults here periods ect, sorry ladies im not one for skiping around the houses causes constipation i obviously cant understand that as well being a man but feel for you ladies with all the shit you put up with i know its nature and all that but if i went through that i would be cranky every day of every month not just a few days so you take it better than i would woman must be more tolerant as well as more larger dump oriantated than men is what i say.
Ok tonight before posting this i had to dump bad so i sat on the toilet as per usual anyway it wwas not as much as a strain to get it out but a wince from the massive downward surge it hurt alot no wonder as i got up tyo look it was 12 inches long at least possibly up to 14inches sorry i didn't measure and around 6 inches thick approx, as i sat down to wipe feeling finished i suddenly felt more and thought it was a bit more wrong it was alot more a major load ontop of my huge log i cant beleive it went down i sat there for anoth 5 mis wiped about 4 or 5 times i had an uncomfortable feeling for about 10 mins after.
Well im feeling like an auther here so i better get of before this turns into a novel take all safe sausage staining to you all
LONDON CALLING
p.s HI Kendal how are you and your COLLUMPTONS hehe
Bryian
To Barbie Doll: Loved your story
To jr: Cool story...i liked it
To Punk Rock Girl: liked your story..yeah that is weird
To Unnamed poster: about your cousin daring you to fill your pants...i liked your story..sounds cool...Did he see your messy pants?
To Bethany: liked your story...LOL about where you were gonna go :)
To Mark the Shark: liked your story
To ROBIN: Loved your story..did you have to sleep in the same bed with your cousin all 3 nights?
To Carmalita: I understand now
To Punk Rock Girl and teacher chick..that reminds me when i was in school i was shy about taking a shit in school up till about 9th grade...then i decided its cool to shit in school and maybe others would shit at school.
To Cara: Enjoyed your story
To Joe B.: Liked your story
To trey: 1. No 2. I pee standing...but sometimes if i poop i will pee sitting. 3. I shit sitting down. 4. Dark/light brown 5. Yes i sometimes will stick my finger up there to help move things along. 6. sometimes
To irishguy: liked your story..when you started working out did you have an urge?
To Austin(Blake): Liked your story.
To Katrina: Enjoyed your story.
To John: Liked your story
To la la la de bamba: Loved your story...did your parents ever find out you pooped your pants?
To Melissa: Loved your story.
To dylan: Loved your story..must have been a cool experience.
To wetguy: liked your story
To Businessman: liked your story
To Nathan: liked your story
To POTTY BOY : Loved your story..cool
To Plunging Plop Guy: Sounds like you've had some nice dumps..cool
To Punk rock girl: Im gonna answer your survey..sorry i didn't have time to do it yesterday.
1. (Two parter) What's the weirdest place you've ever a) peed, and b) taken a dump? Explain. IT WOULD HAVE TO BE OUTSIDE
2. Do you ever leave the door open when on the toilet if someone else is home? If so, how often? NO
3. After having taken a crap, what's the longest you've ever gone without wiping your ass and why? NEVER HAD TO DO THAT...I'VE ALWAYS WIPE
4. Who would you be most comfortable with seeing you taking a crap? (e.g. husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend,
mother/father, brother/sister, etc.) Why? FRIEND..CAUSE ITS EMBARRISNING FOR FAMILY TO SEE ME GOING
5. Hypothetical situation. You're at an outdoor event. You desperately have to take a shit. You're in a dense crowd.
There is no way you can make it to the bathroom in time. You're going to shit right now. Do you a) shit your pants, or
b) drop trou and shit on the ground? Why? ID HAVE TO SAY SHIT MY SELF CAUSE IT WOULD BE LESS EMBARSSING FOR SOMEONE TO SEE ME SHITTING(NAKED)
sorry for the CAPS...wanted my answers to stand out
Today at work i was working and an urge hit me to shit.....I held on right till break. I pushed and pushed and it hurt coming out. I had 3 or 4 7 inch logs..wiped alot..thats it..need to go bye
I look forward to everyone's responses. Peace!Donna
Cara, hello. I used to know a girl like you. When I worked in an office, the poor girl was teased mercilessly, often by the men. "Look, there's a toilet", some comedian would say. She took it in good spirit. The thing is that she used to need a wee so often it seemed to dominate her life. When I weed as her "neighbour" in the next "trap", I unleashed waterfalls while she seemed to do so little she might just wear a pad. A few seconds of rapid dripping and it was over. She was a hopeless drinking companion.
Ina, I used my travelmate at the back of my garden hidden under a tree. I hope watering some flowers counts as using it in a live situation. I haven't been anywhere else to use it yet unless you count a wee into the bath when I was practicing. I enjoyed it, I'll be doing it again.
Sorry, PV, I've been a long time again. Louise has been saying you were asking, so sorry. It is very satisfying to know our comments have been so helpful. It was a very strong person who could wee with the ladies doors open. Well done!
Oh yes, try the method of shutting out the world and unleashing your stream. I am well past needing to do that, personally speaking, but it is a help if you are unsettled in your mind and you want to wee.
You could have weed on the fence instead of the grass couldn't you? Or is wee not recommended as a wood preservative? I once did that and I had to replace the panel the following year. Yes, yes, yes it was rotting anyway but I could not resist the joke.
I have a very special story to tell. I am working my way up to writing about it, and I need to be careful I don't get in the way of these two. They need their privacy but I will write soon, I promise.
Donna xx
FART LOVER.
Last week I went shopping in walmart. I was wearing a pair of depends for my bladder problems. Anyway, I had on a pair of tight jeans and a x large T-shirt covering my behind. While I was walking around the store, shopping, I farted a loud Brraapp! Now I know why the diaper is called depends. It depends on either muffling noises, or securing wetness. Anyway, it didn't muffle the fart sounds, but it secures wetness. As I walked I kept farting, but it wasn't stinking. I thought, "Hum, this is kinda cool." Suddenly my anus opened as a busy little turd slipped its way out into my adult diaper. "Woops," I stopped in my tracks. I stood a minute to inspect a smell. The close was clear, no smell. I had to push another turd, so I walked to the end of the aisle, and stood pushing, discreetly watching for people. My anus opened, I felt a fat long turd easing out, as some piss sprayed also. My depends was holding up pretty well. But I was feeling very uncomfortable, so I got what I was ! looking for in the store, and walked to the check out. When I got into my car to go home, I sat on my mess. it squished from front to back. Yuck, I was still pooping while driving home. Still no stink or stains in my pants. Depends really lives up to its name. Fart Lover.
Louise
JOHN Q PUBLIC - Hi guy! Well yeah I think a lot of girls piss harder than guys do. It is not always true though. I mean a lot of women in the office I work part time go and wee as soon as they feel it and they just do a lot of little trickles. My boss gives me some real funny looks if she is in the Ladies when I do one of my big gushers. LOL
I do not think I have ever had a "holding" contest with my husband. I do not know who would win because it would have to be a day I did not wee lots to start off with. It is a mind over matter contest as well and if I took on Steve in a clash of wills it would be hard for me really because I would be playing him at his own sort of game. Hey I will see if we can try it on Sunday though!
Love Louise xxxxx
MICKEY - Hi guy! You know I bet Jill is a bit like me. She pissed hard and she likes to tease. I hope you read about my wee down the drain in the alley when the schoolboy found me, Mickey. I think I made him mess his pants. giggle
Love Louise xxxxx
ELEANOR - Hi girl!!! Yeah, I do not think my photographer could believe my photoshoot either. LOL I gave him and his helper some big shocks when they saw me hovering over the toilet in the stall. You should seen their faces! You know I should have asked them if they had never seen a girl wee before. giggle
You went out with Andrew? That is fabulous! Well I know you were not all by yourselves but are you going out again just with him?
I will tell Steve you have written!
Love Louise xx
PV - Hi girl! HA HA HA!!! Yeah, Steve said to me that he can not let me out of his sight because I will be bad and wee in front of the men. They are not safe with me, he says. LOL
It was a quiet weekend really for me and Steve. It has been raining a lot so I have been in doing a lot of extra training with him. I was a bit bad when his best friend came around and I left the bathroom door open when I went for a wee. I did it standing up and they were looking at my bare bum and my wee squirting into the toilet. It was a good gusher really but it did not last a really long time and stopped quick with no trickling to finish. They bent down to get a better look and they say I am bad! Men!
Well I hope you are getting better and I really hope that horrible bomb blast has not got anybody you know. I was real shocked when I heard about that. Steve said I had to say hello to you for him as well and he hopes you are all right.
ROBBY and CARMALITA - Hi!!!
Love,
Louise.
Undin the Greek
Hi I’m a bit lazy to write often but I decided to tell you another toilet phone story. My dear lady in Uganda called me just after 1pm while I had my lunch. She said softly “Sweetie guess what… I need to go and I think it will be a big one I’ve not been for 3 days… please call me back” Yeah I have to call her back as the phone call is very expensive. With my save phone card it costs just 10 pence per minute (BT charges more than a pound God sake!!!). Any way I called her back and she answered immediately
Saying “Hi sweetie I just got into my job’s bathroom”. I heard a bolt locking and then clothes undoing. “I just sat on the pan ooohhhhh listen this my dear….” I heard a crackling sound like FFFFFFFTTTTTTFFPRRRRRRRFTFTFTFTFT and then a storming pee that durated about 40 seconds then a grunting UUUGGGHHHH and she said “Sweetie I miss you very much UUUUUUUGGGG OOOOHHHHH I wish you were with me OOOHHHH” I answered “You have really hard time in the toilet huh? “ she replied “Yes it touches already the water but still comes out …. OOOHHH I think … listen….” And a silent FLOMP was made after she lowered he mobile phone. I asked “R U OK my dear?” “Not really another one is coming OOOHHH it comes out easily” and I heard a second FLOMP and she said with a relief “I’m done. I need to wipe my bum “ After doing it she said “Just one wipe is OK paper is almost clean” Then I asked the size of her turds and she said “First one is about a foot long and the other one I estimate 8 inches.! The 1 foot is toffee brown and the other is orange brown. Sweetie I miss you can you understand? I wish I was in UK next to you” I said “ I wish too” and I heard a flushing. I asked “Is the toilet clear now?” She said “The 8 inch has gone but the 1 foot is still in the pan but only 6 inches show the other 6 are hidden hahahahah” Then another flush and she said “3 –4 inches still show but I won’t try anymore as my boss will think I try to avoid work. She got out and while washing another lady got in the stall she had used and in a big hurry just peed. My dear lady returned to her desk and told me that she very wish she was doing her doo doo with me before hanging up. Anyone else with toilet phone story?
Tiffany: I liked your story about the unflushed toilet. African ladies you rule …
Bryian
I haven't been posting in a few days...my computer was broken....then it started working again...getting a new computer
To Teacher Chick: Enjoyed your story.
To unnamed poster...liked your story..yes i've taken a dump in the sink its cool.
To shy girl: liked your story.
To Althea: liked your story about being at your aunts house.
To unnamed poster: i rather poop on a toilet.
To Billy & Kevin: liked your story
To Punk Rock Girl & Friend: liked your story
To Jared: liked your story.
To shy gir: liked your story
To Potty Pooper: Liked your story
To Jeff: liked your story.
To Scarlet: LOL about your dream..i wish :)
To leather pants girl: Liked your story
To Brenda: Love your story
To shycory: liked your story
To Melanie: liked your story
To Sarah: liked your story
To Thomas: liked your stories..i've taken that medicne before..i hate it...gives me the shits.
To MUSK: liked your story
To irishguy: Thanks for liking my stories..i liked your too! I got one more story(at the end of this).
To Plunging Plop Guy: Thanks for explaining what that kind of toilet is..thanks.
To Darius: Thanks for liking my story..liked yours too.When i pooped those bikni's i was laying on my back.
I've been offline for several days..seems like not much has been updated here(didn't miss alot).
The other day i went to the mall and i was walking around then i went into sears. I took a toilet and an urge came on and i was trying to wait for a good time to poop(when a guy comes in). I waited then i finally decided to poop and then im about to wipe and this 20 y.o guy takes the first stall(next to me) and he begain farting and dropping his load. Then he left and i got up and didn't flush and checked out his stall only a few skidmarks. Then i come out and i saw some guy go into the stall i was in(middle one) and he walked out cause i didn;t flush(got a kick out of it). I had this 8 inch log w/ some corn in it and alot of wipping. Thats about it i guess.
R,A,C
Regular as clockwork if your all happy with that for name then i'll begin. just had to tell you some stories of my own after reading all the great stuff from P.r.girl,carmalita and others.Im an english hetro male who is also into our subject matter Matter being the main word.I'm 45 and i can remember right back to when I was about 6 that after the barly was cut we made a den from straw bales and 4 of us decided to see if we could make a pooh.we were 2 boys and 2girls and I went first.None of us really wanted to go but we kind of used it as an excuse to see each others privates(as im sure most kids do).I remember managing something like a half decent load in the corner,then the other lad tried,but after some good effort failed to produce.His younger sister flatly refused to join in and it looked for a moment that we boys were being had.I suppose you could say we bared our(ar)souls for nowt! Any way the situation was saved when the eldest girl who was about 10 decided to keep ! the femail end up, lowered her pants and really tried to sqeeze one out.Bless her for trying but it didnt amount to much more than the size of a large earth worm,but there was a really nice musky smell that i can still remember to this day and I always reckon my intrest in this unusual subject stems from that.These days I can't hack the smell so although I'd like to think I love to be there helping a girl to "go" if it ever happened i think i might end up gagging if it stank.(unles it smelt like thet day in the cornfield)If you do have a problem with your shit smelling real bad it maybe caused by some "bad" bacteria in your gut.For a couple of years I could'nt live with my self and it was beyond the laughing stage.Then i contrated a stomach bug that was doing the rounds and for 5 days i thought iwas going to die.It was coming out both ends and i lost about a stone and half,but since that time(4yrs) my shit has been acceptable as not to cause embarrasment.Perhaps a certain pi! n up girl from the seventies needs help with her stinky stuff.When I was working in london at the height of her fame this blonde honey who "worked for charlie" was staying in a hotel opposite the pub i was having a pint in.This Irish hall porter came in ordered a pint took a large swallow and said"jesus that helps to get the taste out of me mouth".I said "sorry" as in would you care to enlighten me.He went on to say that in most peoples minds you'd think that that woman who's staying over there,her shit would'nt stink when you see her on T.V ,but i can say here and now her ass is rotten.It seems he'd just delivered a parcel to her suite and when he went in he could hear the cistern refilling after just being pulled.As he walked past the open door to the B/R he reckoned the smell nearly knocked him sideways.So there you go were all human after all. I've got loads more but i better save some for another day.Remind me to tell you of my adventures in open minded Scandinavia,Chee! rs for now R.A.C
Monday, October 14, 2002