The Shining Knight
Hey I have a story I'd like to share with everyone. Well I go with a Varsity Girl basketball player.She's a little taller than me, but we make a good couple really and she's very pretty :D. Well one day her team had an early game at this school WAY out there.Anyway after her game we began walking across the school grounds.Everyone was basically chillin out. Well I had an urge to take a dump for a LONG time, and just my luck the urge would hit me HARD while we were walking.I could feel a turd just threatining to poke out.When it gets that bad I REALLY have to go. I guess I shouldn't have eaten all those snaks ><. Anyway my stomach started making funny noises, and I told her I have to use the bathroom BAD. She said "just go back to the bathroom" but it was WAY too far and quite complicated to get there in time. I told her so and she started giggling and said "guess you'll just have to hold it or go in the woods or something." She had a big smile on the whole time.I walke! d quickly into the woods. She was laughing and asked "was I really gonna go out here. She was just kidding."
I said too late now. I looked for a nice place to go. we were the only ones around so I wasn't worried about that. I saw a high tree stump and made my mind up. I said hope you don't mind. This is going to be a big one. "I don't mind" she said laughing. I got on the tree stump and squatted. I pulled my shorts and boxers just around my knees to cover my stuff, but more than enough to get my butt out. She immediately got behind and below me. She said "ooh let me watch." I really didn't care so I said sure. "You got a cuuuute booty" she said. I could tell she was very excited especially when she saw my butthole. She sort of examined my butthole till the turd started coming out. Here it comes she said with a big smile on her face. My turds are never soft. Just firm and long. And just that started crackling out. I was so turned on by this whole thing. She started laughing and talking to me about my turd as it slowly moved out.It fell with a loud thud. I immediately started let! ting out loud and stinky farts. Of course she said my butt stinks.
I started pushing and what I would call poop-balls. They were as round as a basketball as they started shooting out. My girlfriend said so too between her giggles.I pushed again and another long turd started crackling out. To give my girl a show a held the turds coming out as long as I could. She couldn't find enough things to point out about my turd whenever one hang out. I pushed and this MONSTER of a turd started crackling out. It was a lil knobbly and VERY fat. My girlfriend was really into it now. She watched closely as the turd SLOWLY moved out. I didn't have to fake it this time. She said "come on push harder" as I really was pushing as hard as I could. The turd was actually touched the ground and broke off.My girlfriend said "damn that's a big turd. What did you eat." I laughed and said anything I found when I was hungry as I pushed what was left of the turd. My turd was REALLY crackling. My girlfriend was dangerously close as she stared up my crack.I pushed as h! ard as I could the the rest of the turd finally fell out.She put a hand on my right butt-cheek and squeezed it over and over as she told me "that was a HUGE turd and didn't see how it could fit out my tight butthole." I laughed a little myself. We both were REALLY turned on by this point. She still had her hand on my buttcheeck and I don't think she planned on moving it as she still squeezed my butt giggling.
Almost immediately I started shooting out a bunch of small turds and poopballs. She laughed and talked about my turds even more as they all exploded out my ass. My girlfriends hand was safely away from the explosion of tiny turds.I started letting out farts but no turds were coming out.I told my girlfriend that's it.She shouted "I get to wipe!" before I could say anything else. She spread my cheeks and looked around my butthole. "Your butthole's not even dirty." She said. That's usual since my turds are never really messy.I asked if she had any tissue or anything with her.She dug in the purse she brought with her and luckily had alot of it. I get to wipe she said before I could do anything and dug up my crack. She actually broke the tissue and poked my butthole a few times. She giggled and said oops sorry each time she did it, but I know she did it on purpose :). She wiped longer than necessary for someone with a clean butthole, but I didn't mind. She grabbed my cheeks i! n both hands and examined my butthole one more time and slapped my butt saying all done.
We looked at my pile and boy was there ALOT of turds.I was still squatted and looked behind to see my work.She poked my butt and said and to think all that came from this one butt.I pulled up my boxers and shorts and said I felt 100 pounds lighter.I thought we were about to walk away,but she said "wait a minute.Since I gave her a good show she would give me one." She said "she really had to go after the game and was gonna wait till she got to a bathroom".She said she would add to the pile. She got up on the stump and squatted.She pulled down her shorts and basically the thong she was wearing. Man she has a NICE ass. "Hope you have a good view" she said with a playful smile. As if I wasn't already turned on enough. This REALLY did it. I got to see her cute little butthole too. This was veyr cool to me.She pushed and starting letting out a ton of farts!She laughed and said "guess I got alot of gas too."Her farts smelled even worse than mine.I was squatted behind her nice a! ss and endured the smelly farts. I watched her cute butthole stretch as she pushed out this smooth cream-colored turd.My girlfriend had the gasiest dump ever. She was making loud,noisy farts the entire time. "Here it comes" she said as the turd slithered out her ass. Right after a whole bunch of smooth medium-sized turds started shooting out her ass. The turds stopped and a surprising HARD turd poked out. I put my hand on her cheek like she did me and said "push harder" like she said to me. She smiled at me and laughed and started pushing the turd out. Her turds didn't crackle like mine but she farted the entire time. She sexily groaned as she finally pushed as hard as she could a forced the turd out. A turd almost exactly like the last eased out and some more after that.I was squeezing her nice ass the entire time like me, and I could really tell she was turned on as much as me maybe even more than me.I looked up her tight butthole and it was a little dirty. Her hole opene! d and a very fat turd slowly moved out.She grunted and groaned and arched her back sticking her cute butt out even more. Finally the turd fell out her ass.She pushed again making a ton a farting noises and this stringy turd came out. I got a REALLY good show as she shook her ass up and around trying to make the turd drop. She giggled and said "I can't believe this turd won't drop" I said that I didn't mind and that she was giving me a nice show. She laughed and shook her butt until the turd finally dropped.ANOTHER snaky turd slithered out.I squeezed and smacked her cheek and said "guess you'll have to give me another show" She grinned and shook her ass around again until it dropped. I wathced her hole open and a thick, long turd slowly moved out and stopped. She laughed and said "This is gettin ridiculous". I said she had a poop tail and she started giggling. She pushed and pushed but the turd just hung there. I grabbed her cheeks and spread them a little wider. she said "He! y! Who said you could help" but she was giggling when she said it so I knew she was joking.She pushed and the turd eased out.I stared up her butthole expecting more, but she kept on farting and farting.She said she was finished finally and I said "I get to wipe" before she could do anything. It was payback :D. Her butthole was alot dirtier than mine. She giggled as I wiped all around her butthole. It took quite a few wipes. This was one of the coolest things ever. When I knew she was clean I still wiped her a little more like she did me, and my finger went through the paper and poked her tight butthole a few times like she did me. She turned her head and laughed at me everytime I did it. She was enjoying the whole thing.I looked at our combined turds and WOW what a pile! Never saw anything like it.My girlfriend was amazed too,but while she was looking I was busy staring at her perfect ass.My hands were still on her cheeks.
I was so turned on by this whole thing. She finally stood up. She quickly bent over. I thought she was giving me a good view of her asshole just for fun, but she let out some of the SMELLIEST farts right in my face giggling. I smacked her butt like she did me and she slowly and sexily pulled up her thong and shorts.
We've watched eachother whenever we had to go since. I feel so lucky! We've grown alot closer through all this. I thought her dump was just gassy maybe that one time, but she farts through her dumps ALL the time.
We're still together now and hopefully I can post some of the other stories soon :D Till next timeJumpin' Jupiter!
Carmalita: You are the best!!!! You've enchanted me for so long with your inspiring and lovely tales that I have decided to post to you. Please write more! You have the best stories. I've been reading about you since you first "logged" on here (pardon the expression). I am an artist, some of you may know me, and I have to admit that you are an a beautifully intriguing and interesting subject! ¡Yo hablo español también! ¡Soy feliz que nos escribes y decirnos tus cuentas maravillosas!
Sexy girl
Troubled J: Your troubles would be over real quick if you got to know me! I'm 16 years old and everyone says I'm real cute. I love pooping and would luv to be with a guy when I do it. It's too bad that we can't get in touch through this site. I live in the Eastern USA and would just luv to meet a guy who lives out there too! Anyway, don't give up. I think a lot of chicks would be real glad to drop their undies and poop for the right kind of guy. How old are you by the way and would you be ready to dump that frigid girl you're dating? I just couldn't believe that you guys were not into having sex! What do you guys do for entertainment? :)
Jonathan
Hi People,
tomorrow I am planning on meeting with a lady friend of mine, she is into pooping in front of people and she said she is going to poop in front of me, so i will keep you all posted, and let you all know what she does.
Jon.
TOILET SITTER
Would love to start a survey of how long people sit on the toilet and what they do to pass the time while sitting there. I love to sit and read for at least 30 minutes or more if my butt can handle it. Whats the longest any of have ever spent sitting?
BeachNut
To Cecile, Amanda, and others interested in piss stories: I posted a story yesterday (Wednesday) about peeing in the beach sand like my girlfriend sometimes does, but somehow it got added below the Wednesday posts, after Kristin's post from Sunday or Monday I think it was. But that piss happened on Wednesday and it was great. Looks like I was unable to tame my weekend story with my girlfriend down enough for the moderator's liking...oh well.
To Tess: Right on about weeing in the surf! And yeah, the smell of a girl's fresh piss on the ground is really nice, especially in the spring. Would love to hear some (more) individual stories of your wees and poos in the wild sometime.
To Amanda: Loved your piss story from the woods last summer with Corissa. Wish you hadn't been so rushed to get off the 'puter, as it sounded like there was a lot more to the story. Did the sandals you (and she) wore have any significance? Wish I could have seen you pissing in the woods wearing just that "spoiled" tank top ;) How far in the woods did you go? Could you have been spotted by a passer-by? Did you piss on a pile of leaves, in sand or what? Could you describe the puddle you left? What was Corissa going to try since she was waiting to go? Was she going to try to push out a log, too? It's too bad this board won't allow us to contact one another on this board if we so choose. I have AOL/AIM, too, and would love the opportunity to share some stories with you. Oh well.
And finally, to PV: Would love to read your beach story.
Happy goings all!
John D.
Hey Michael M...ME TOO!!! When I walk around the garage or basement looking at old stuff, rusty stuff, and dirty stuff, I get the urge to take a crap! It's great to hear that that works for someone else!
Yes, I always leave my dumps for others to see in public toilets. I like to think of it as a welcoming gift to the stall (LOL)! I hate automatic flushing toilets, though. They don't like you live a warming present.
Teddy Bear
I just love my new computer. its got that old one i used to hafta share beat by a mile. anyway, i'll relate another memorable episode of my ex-g/f Lisa pooping.
We were about 6 mo. into our relationship, & lived in my log cabin in eastern washington. it was a sunday morning in the springtime when she returned home from church (i didn't go cause i wasn't feeling too good)& said she had to bake some cookies & pies for a bake sale later on. she put on her pink apron over her knee length black skirt & tight red sweater. i had just turned on the tv to watch the mariners game. about 5 min. later she came into the living room where i was sitting & asked me where the comic section of the sunday paper was. at the time i assumed she wanted to read it while she was baking. the paper was scattered all over the couch. as i was helping her look for the comics, she let out a soft, smelly fart & said "i gotta go bad" & i knew it wasn't because she was in need of detrol. i finally found the comics & she hurried off to the bathroom. i knew she was gonna go poop. i then decided i needed to shave & brush my teeth! & followed her in. as i entered, she was already hiking up her skirt & apron & pulling her pantyhose & black lace bikini panties down between her knees & ankles. she then nestled her curvacious butt on the oak toilet seat, spread her legs, picked up the funnies, leaned forward in her usual fashion, began reading, let out another soft, pooshing fart, & began softly grunting. almost imediately, her 1st turd began crackling out of her butthole & landed with hardly a sound. i knew this was a long, thick one. her heady poop aroma was also starting to waft towards my nostrils. at the same time i was trying to concentrate on shaving, but was transfixed by what was going on beside me. she then sat more upright & began her stream of pee which lasted about a minute. i was starting my razor strokes when she opened the paper to pg. 2, leaned forward again, adjusted her butt on the seat, rested her elbows on her knees, spread her legs about 12" & resu! med her soft grunting. after about 3 min. i heard a rumbling sound from her gut & knew some more poop was working its way towards her anal ring. sure enough, the crackling of her poop pushing past her ring came in 3 distinct ploop! ploop! ploop!'s. her anal perfume was also more intense, & this whole scene was sooo heavenly. i had nicked myself several times due to my inattention, but i didn't care. she looked at me & said with a giggle "your enjoying this, aren't you?" i could only say "yeeeaaahhh!" i then heard another log ease past her ring which landed with another ploop! she then turned to the back page & was winding down her poop session. she pushed out a few more smaller turds that fell with a plop! plop! plip! plip! i had finally managed to finish my shaving when she put down the comics on the bathtub rim, sat upright , dribble a little more pee out & reach for the tp. when she had rolled off a generous amount, i took it from her hand & said! "allow me honey" & urged her to raise her butt. she complied, moving a little forward also. i got a view of her marvelous creation, 1 - 12" log which was obviously the 1st one, 4 - 5" to 7" logs & 4 - 1" to 2" turds. all were floaters, medium brown in color & speckled with corn from friday's dinner. i proceeded to wipe her gently, the 1st swipe produced quite a bit of poop on the tp with some still smeared on her crack. i folded it over & wiped her again, all the time she was moaning in ecstacy. she liked it! i continued with the wiping, it took 3 more wipes before she was clean. i then told her to sit back & spread her legs & move her apron aside while i wiped the pee from her pussy & thick blonde bush. she then stood up & admired her load & said "wow! i sure had a load in me" i agreed with her & then picked her up in my arms before she could pull up her panties & headed to the bedroom because we were both sooooo! turned on from ! what had taken place. the ball game & baking were put on hold for about an hour. there is just something about a beautiful, leggy woman wearing a skirt & apron taking a big poop while sitting on an oak toilet seat & reading that turns me on big time! i have one more pooping story about Lisa that took place while we were camping that summer that i will relate to you at a later date. i hope y'all enjoyed the memorable flashback from the most wonderful year of my life. God i miss her, but am happy with the lady i'm with now. talk to y'all later.
Peace & love KYBO Teddy Beardookie dunker
Hey Guys and Gals, have you ever farted all day long and by the end of the day the farts left skid marcks in your underwear or panties?
Pee Girl (The Original)
I first posted back on page 1120. I see there is a Pee Girl on page 1124, and by the way she says "wee" and "at University" get the feeling she's from somewhere outside the U.S., perhaps England. While I am just finishing my freshman year in college-I hate finals week- I beg to differ with the other Pee Girl on one small point. A one minute pee is not a long pee. On now to some more titilating stuff that all the big bladders like Katarina can probably relate to.
In my first post I told you about my boyfriend back in high school who was so into my peeing. Thinking back I feel guilty now that I teased him and frustrated him to the degree I did. A glaring example I can recall was when we'd go out and I would deliberately have a super filled bladder going into the date and further add to the quantity by hitting a Starbucks or drinking a lot of water so by the end of the evening I could really give a performance. His parents were far more strict with regard to ground rules (in by 10pm) than mine, so we'd go back to his place and tell his parents some dumb thing like we were going to his room to watch TV. Once there he would turn on the TV and then we would both go into his bathroom to take turns relieving ourselves into the toilet. Invariably he would go first while I would hop on the counter next to the sink and openly watch him pee. For all his endowment he was really an average pisser, which could explain his fascination with me. ! After his usual sprinkle-tinkle was completed, I would often hop down and give him a good-natured ribbing by shaking his "garden hose" and whispering "sure that's all there is in there? All this hanging there and that's it?" Then with a peck on the cheek I would say, "O.K. My turn." With the bathroom door wide open and him looking on from atop his bed I would go, and go, and go, my strong stream beating directly into the water and drowning out competing sounds from the TV. As one minute rolled into two, then three, I used to love to play the innocent naive girlfriend knowing that my pee was driving him wild and also knowing that with his parents just down the stairs there was little he could do to satisfy his surging, er, feelings. Often I would stop my stream several minutes into a pee to look in my purse for something like a hair brush. Having already taken such a protracted pee would always delude him into believing I had finished, and the resumption of my urination would! just add fuel to the fire. "You're not done yet," he'd say in a loud whisper? Me casually brushing my hair would reply, "Hmm. Guess not. Got a ways to go still." What's really funny and ironic in all of this was the hushed secretive tones in our communication all the while my pee stream was loud enough to carry past his bedroom, down the stairs and into his mother's ears. How do I know? Several times she knocked on his door and came in to inquire if everything was O.K. while I was peeing away. I'd swing the door shut and leave it to my frazzled boyfriend to explain the obvious- that I was in the bathroom urinating. She was too utterly embarrassed to say what was on her mind; only a week before they moved back to Colorado did she even manage to broach the subject. When my boyfriend told his parents how much he would miss me his mother turned to her husband and said yes it's a shame I couldn't come to help out with the drought in Denver "because that girl pees more than any! human being I've ever seen in my life!" I'll take the compliment however undeserved because I think her encyclopedia of experience needed broadening.
At the conclusion of my first post I said that there were some real monster-bladders out there. I told the above story to illustrate that by the time I was seventeen I was really starting feel like I was the Peeing Queen; I had this attitude when I'd go into a restroom, nothing that one can dare verbalize about in public or so I thought.
Two days before Christmas I was at the local Mall fighting with all the last minute shoppers to buy my sister a new blouse. (For some reason it took until 6pm to find the right brand and size.) My bladder normally only requires emptying twice a day at best, but that day I had passed on my morning pee, had a ton of caffine and liquids, and did I mention my kidneys are very healthy. So rather than fight the Mall traffic home in my little Jetta to pee I headed to a Mall restroom. Bad choice. There was a long line of women snaking outside, but with a bladder past throbbing to the threshold of pain I stood patiently for my turn. Just in front of me was a smartly dressed woman of about 26-27 (I'm bad with ages) roughly my height of 5'9" blonde hair highlighted. We started making small talk as the line crawled along-she apparently had just gotten off a long day working sales at one of the stores. Frustrated by the slow pace and the Christmas crowds in general I suddenly shook! my head and mumbled,"let's go people. I have to take one giant pee, and when I say I have to take a giant pee, it's a GIANT pee." The woman in front whom I had started to get friendly with turned around and quipped, "I think you're definately going to be facing stiff competition there. Right now I am holding back Hoover Dam." Slightly taken aback I just nodded in agreement. A few minutes later we entered the actual restroom area, only to find that the line paralleled a long bank of stalls and the front actually meant more waiting time. It also meant we were by default an audience to a succession of other women empyting their maxed-out bladders. My impatience again showed when this obnoxious girl about my age raced into a stall. After spending her entire time in line telling her friend how badly she had to go, her entire pee took less than fifteen seconds and not a gushing fifteen seconds either. I uncharitably smirked under my breath, "I thought you said you had to go?" Ag! ain the woman in front pick up on my remark and turned to me with a little smile. "Now-now, be gentle. She just has a tiny tank in her." She followed up a few seconds later with, "we all have different sized tanks (bladders) in us." Even I had to blink at the matter-of-fact way she made that remark. "Sorry. Guess I'm so used to being the polar opposite..." She didn't even let me finish what I had to say when she came back with, "oh you're Super-Sized. Is that what you're trying to tell me?" Did she just allude to what I thought she alluded to? Sensing my hesitation she continued, "don't sweat over it. I should know. " I mouthed "really" and back came a roll of her eyes "...and I mean Super-Dupper Sized." What would you call it, a shared secret with a fellow throbbing bladder in line? Surreal? Slowly we got to the head of the line. My last confession to her was more of a statement of fact. "All I know is that after all this damn time standing in line I hope nobody minds if ! I put one of those stalls out of order for a long time, a long long time." Just as a stall door opened up her last words were, "in that case this restroom is in big trouble, because I'm going to be right with you every drop of the way." She went into a stall a few yards away. A few seconds later a stall far down the line opened up but for some reason I let an older woman in her fifties ahead of me (wonder what she was thinking?) I could hear a powerful splatter start up in her stall and continue for some thirty or so seconds before the stall next to hers opened up to permit me to dash in.
I wasted no time lowering my pantyhose and starting my own flow directly into the water beneath me. I didn't care how many in that restroom could hear or were listening-I had to pee! I closed my eyes and almost lost the feeling of time passage. By the time I opened them a good minute-and-a-half had probably passed. My stream abruptly cut off for a few seconds; I relaxed a bit and my flow resumed and it was once more off to the races. Suddenly I heard a newly familiar voice speaking right next to the stall divider, speaking above the din of her stongly flowing pee splatter. "Hi. Hello. That wouldn't be you over there would it?" "Yeah it's me," I said. Ten, fifteen seconds passed with loud pee filling the air. "Why?" "Rare to meet someone who's bladder is as large as her boast." Mutual nervous laugh. Ten more seconds passed, and a woman who started after me to my right departed. "I hope nobody gets pissed. I have so much more in me." A little pause before her reply. "If t! hey do they'll be getting angry at two of us...I honestly don't feel like I've put a dent in my tank's supply." She was the first person who I've heard refer to her bladder as her tank. We continued to pee alongside each other, subconsciously matching each other's flow rate. More time passed. To either side of us stalls were turning over. "If either of us had known, we should have brought reading material." For some reason we both began giggling uncontollably the causation thinning our streams to a tinkle-tinkle. "Alright. Stop it now. Let's concentrate," I reminded her. The flows resumed. Another fifteen seconds brought an abrupt stop, this time from my new pee buddy.(Remember she had started before me.) "Running dry over there," I inquired thinking she would say yes. She had been peeing a good four minutes. Instead a pee stream initiated once more building to a strong steady flow. "Oh girl. Surely you jest" came back the reply through the metal divider. That was the moment! I began to take some note of just what was happening over there. She could flat out pee! I began to push and search for more pee within me as I began to feel the first incipient feelings of a drained bladder come over me.
What saved me from utterly humiliating defeat came in the form of a group of pee conscious Jr. High Mall drones who had been working there way up the line and took note that, one, our two stalls were not turning over and two, the flow of pee in our respective stalls just kept going on and on. I was really starting to taper off and push when I heard this jabbering and giggling and this clearly young voice call out to her friend, "come on tell me. What's it up to now?" "Let's see, six minutes twenty for one and...seven plus for the other!" What sounded like a small group whooped it up in amazement. "Did you just hear that," I asked. "Yeah, just ignore them and pee." I could have tinkled perhaps a little more, but I chose instead to be confrontational. "It sounds like some girls have some growing up to do. In a lot of areas." I was so parental at then seventeen. My pee friend tried to calm me. "Forget them. They sound like kids. Just keep on going. They'll get their shot at! the next available stalls."
Just keep on going? Well I would if I could but my bladder was all but dry. Spent. Drained. I was saving face in this unproclaimed duel of long peeing. "No. The little creeps want this stall. Bye." "That sounds like you're being mighty generous to me," she chirped. "I never cut short a pee, but I guess you have plenty of time to finish it once you get home. See 'ya." As I rose up from the seat I could hear the same hiss-splatter peeing sounds on her side that had greeted me when I first entered. Passing the braces and training bra set on the way to the sinks I paused long enough to give an acidic retort. "I hope you know that it's not polite to do what you just did, commenting on the length of time a person pees. Maybe one day if any one of you happen to develop a large bladder you'll know that it takes a long time to empty and having some little brat commenting and timing them is NOT polite!" I left in a pseudo huff.
I huddled at the sinks and waited, and waited. Finally and I do mean finally my new found pee buddy emerged from her stall after so completely out-peeing me I felt overwhelmed and in awe. As much as I can pee I kept thinking, my God how much can some women hold?! Since that time I keep an eye out for her everytime I go to that Mall.
anthea
Went to a barbecue on Sunday in honor of Faith who has just retired as a teacher aged about 50. I've always had a bit of a crush on her I suppose. She's so calm and together. A bit prim I suppose with everything in place. You can hardly visualise her blowing her nose. let alone having a bodily function. When I came into the house, I saw her going upstairs presumably to the bathroom (imagine!). She didn't notice me so I followed and waited outside the door. I heard an absolute torrent of pee, two loud farts and a two-sheet wipe. Followed by extensive hand-washing. When she came out and saw me she went deep pink. I gave her a hug and a kiss of welcome (which I had never done before) and rushed into the bathroom though I didn't need to go! I then realised why Faith had made so much lovely noise. There was an invalid seat on top of the normal seat so that disabled people don't have to bend. It was about a foot deep ensuring a waterfall and the farts reverberating. App! arently Nancy our hostess has an aunt who had polio. When I went outside I found Faith and made a big fuss of her and, do you know, I think she was a bit flirtatious as if we had a tiny bond. Probably my imagination! I'd love to instal one of those seats at home but haven't the face. Anyway it was a really nice experience.
Love you all Antheafrogdog
Hello. This is an odd question, but is there a difference between female poops and male poops? Does one do more than the other? Just asking.
Jim
LINDA- what is biddy cream?
Raging Urophile
Now for a post I promised a few weeks ago.
Back in the early 90's, here in Los Angeles County, I used to listen to a couple of hilarious FM disc jockeys that were not shy about peeing humor. I got so excited listening to their program that I had to stop because I felt frustated, deprived, and teased while listening to their morning show. I haven't heard them in ten years, but they are still going strong. I will not mention their names; but many folks in L.A. know who I am talking about. I will now recount some interesting things that they did and discussed on the air.
One day , they had a comedy bit where they went into a fast food restaurant to test the convenience and quality of a leak free diaper. They announced that they were peeing their pants as they ordered their food. The exciting part was the following day. The producer of the show had a very sexy voice and was described by them as quite attractive. It was now her turn to try out the diaper. One of them asked her "Do you have to go." She replied "I can," and began peeing into the diaper as the host put the microphone up against her diaper, so the listening audience could hear her tinkle into the diaper. It was very exciting to hear this on the radio. I'm glad I didn't have a car accident. The DJ's should have waited till she really had to pee, however. Because she said merely "I can", implies she didn't really have to go. It could have been even better.
Another time they recalled their trip to a nudist colony. They told how the leader said that because of a neighborhood water shortage, that everyone should do their part for ecology and go "pee on a tree."
Everyone then chose a tree and started peeing in front of each other. One host exclaimed, "It was cool watching the chicks do it". This would have certainly made the trip worth while for me.
Another time , they challenged a male caller with a self-proclaimed huge bladder to pee for 3 minutes straight. Thet didn't think it was possible. They were going to set up a time and place the following week, and invite any challengers to join him. These two DJ's were obviously ignorant about female bladder superiority. Unfortunately, I had to go out of town to Vegas the next week and did not here how this turned out. It was the only time I actually cursed a business trip to Vegas. I wonder if any female took the challenge. If she did, she no doubt won. Men simply cannot compete with women in this area.
Another time, a female caller had told how she and her husband met when he needed to use the toilet. She returned the favor over the air, by telephone, for their anniversary. The DJ's instructed her to squat over the sink and to put the phone up to her vulva so the radio audience could hear her pee. She said she didn't have to go much, but it was exciting when she told her husband " I'm urinating for you honey", as she let a quiet tinkle into the sink for us to hear.
Once they had a woman caller sitting on the toilet about to pee on a test strip to see if she was pregnant. She told the DJ's to "hurry and let me go because I need to go bad". The DJ'S encouraged her to pee on the air so the audience could hear. This caught her off guard, but she proceeded to release a very quick squirt. The DJ's were disappointed and said they expected a lot more. It was still great to hear. The best is yet to come. I got too excited to listen to their show again after this.
A woman called in, claiming that she could pee 10 feet in the air. Because the DJ's,,like most folks, were ignorant of female bladder superiority, they had a hard time believing this. They proceeded to set up a contest for the following day. The woman was to challenge a male employee at the station to a peeing contest. They spoke with her the next day before she left the house. She explained that she shaved herself to eliminate interference of her stream, and that she had been practicing in front of her nine year old son. The DJ's stayed in contact with her as she was driving to the contest. Then disaster struck. She said that her bladder was too full and she peed her pants in the car on the way over. The contest was therefore called off.
Needless to say,these DJ's are somewhat urophilic.
As an aside, one of the DJ's once said that he was surprised when for the first time after quite a few years of marriage, his wife dropped logs while he was in the bathroom. He said he had never been with her when she took a crap.DJ Crapper
Hey Everyone.
TO DAN: Yes I did see Andrea on the toilet many times afterwards. Sometimes when she's over at my house, she will invite me into the bathroom, and i'll massage her shoulders while she has a BM. And yes, it does turn me on!
Bryian
To Shion: Enjoyed your story..were you alone? do you have a roomate?
To micro major makes macro mess: Intresting situation..were u embarressed?
To Punk Rock Girl: Saying hi back...sounds like a nice dump you had
To Amanda: Loved your stories..any one see you girls pee at that dirt bike place?
To Dale: Loved your story...were you embarrsed?
To Michael M: Loved your childhood stories..cool
To Emily of NYC: I too hate having diahreaha in public...liked your story too
To Kayla: Loved your story about shitting your self at the mall..were you embarresed?
To Jackson: Loved your story..thats cool what you and your g/f did
To coyote: Liked your story
To andy: Liked your story
To Dan: Thanks for explaining IBS
To Crapper Man: Liked your story
To Luke: Loved your story..sounds like a nice dump you had :)
To Infantry SPC: Thats intresting what you heard on Jay Leno
To Darlene: Enjoyed your story from school
To Mazrael X: Liked your story..are you male or female?
To Zip: Loved your story
To rob: Enjoyed your story..hope you feel better
To BeachNut: Loved your story..that sounds cool peeing in a hole like that
To Moderator..im missing a story i posted a few days ago..about the toilets at wal-mart
Friday, May 16, 2003
Adrian
Punk Rock Girl. It sounds like that was a really massive dump you took the other night. Your boyfriend is certainly one lucky guy!
PV. Glad to see you back after a long absence. Looking forward to thar pee story.
On Monday the London Times excelled itself, running the sort of story I wouldn't normally expect to find. Apparently Zara, Princess Anne's daughter, went to a charity ball, arriving two hours late and not waiting for a press photo. After a couple of hours (and no doubt a few glasses og wine) she went to the Ladies Loo and, upon emerging, found that the press were waiting for her outside the toilets! No doubt she'll laugh about it in the years to come.
Regards
Adrian
Please Help Me!
For the past week I've been having soft, mushy stools which smell terribly. When the urge to go comes on, it comes on hard. And I've been farting alot more than usual and they smell awful. Normally, I go every other day and my stools are quite firm and don't smell too much.
What could be causing this? I've recently given up junk food cold turkey. Could that be the problem? Also, I've been eating lots of Raisin Bran.
I want my firm stools back!
Dana
I like reading the posts about poop scenes in movies. Anyone know of any good poop or fart scenes in current movies/
John Q Public
Raging Uraphile, alot of people feel that way about going to the bathroom. Most of my relatives and friends, are very opened, but that is the way we are.
Others, on the other hand, may have real privacy issues, so don't be too hard on your sister. Also, having the toilet seperated from the rest of the bathroom makes it possible for a realy private person like your sister to use the toilet while some one else uses the shower. If you ask me, it makes a lot of sense.
CC
Hi everyone,
The other day at the library I one my female colleagues announced she was going for a think (she refers to the toilet as the 'think room' as she says she always remembers things to do there). She had gone for a few minutes so when she came back I went in and there was a slight smell of poo. It must have been a good one.
Messy weeing has been mentioned here recently, I don't know what it's like for girls but I know I am certainly guilty of missing the target. However, 99% this can't be helped as sometimes the stream has a mind of it's own. Sometimes the penis can resemble a garden hose :)
I saw something interesting the other week. I was playing a game demo on the computer that simulates owning and running restaurant. You setup the restaurant and you see customers coming in and out. You can see all parts of the restaurant including the toilets where some customers will go. I had a great time watching the female ones going in, you see them actually sit down and a faint trickling sound then wiping and flushing. I thought it was bit strange to go into so much detail, a game like the Sims only had the characters sitting on the loo. Still, I'm not complaining!
PV
Hi all,
A couple of points you'll enjoy...
I was on my way home on the tain from town today, ad when we stopped at my station I was leaving the train with lots of other folks when I noticed a large puddle on the platform. I thought 'it can't be!' But it was. A man who looked around fifty-ish had just exited the next carriage and was standing on the platform, folks all about, pissing his pants like Niagara Falls. As I started down the ramp to the underpass he turned and walked off the other way and there was still piss raining from him... Now that's some desperation! Somehow it didn't strike me as something most folks would do on purpose...
A while back I joined a club at my college, and an exchage student from Sweden was telling us about the army there. There have national service, and everyone does their time. The Swedish army dehumanises folks very efficiently -- to deprogram the disgust reflex, so soldiers can do anything, go anywhere and eat anything, recruits were/are forced to swim through a trench filled shoulder-deep with human urine and faeces -- every day. In full gear. And clean their gear before they clean themselves. I'm sure he mentioned the trench being 200 meters long.
I have no idea if he was telling a tall story, or emphasising for effect, but it was pretty shocking...
Later, dudes and dudettes,
PV
PS: Malita -- sorry about your accident, honey, that was awful.
Tess
My poo was really smelly today - I thinks its because I had lots of onions for dinner lats night. I think the following foods make me fart a lot -
beans, onions, soda's, fried foods. Onions also make my poo's smell bad.
Linda D.
Window shopping in the mall I needed to have a poop and went into the women's toilets. All five stalls were full and there was two women in front of me. As I stood waiting I looked at the stalls, it seemed to me that the women in three of them were pooping, one was wiping, and one had finished having a pee. Now there was just one in front of me which was good cos I was beginning to get edgy as my poop was coming out of my bum. The wiping woman finished and I would be the next to get a stall, behind me another two women were in the line waiting. Then one of the middle stalls opened and I dashed in, the pan was full of poop and paper, the woman had not bothered to flush. I was desperate so I ripped down my jeans and panties and flopped onto the seat. I pooped at once, an explosion of soft poop splattered from me, it didn't sound much cos it fell on the other woman's poop. I was relieved, I hadn't pooped myself. The women on either side of me were having mass! ive poops, moaning and gasping as their bowels kept opening. I matched them as they pooped, not with quantity though, and then I was finished and wiping at the same time as the two women. We exited the stalls at the same time and as we went to the wash-basins one looked at and said, "God, I really needed that." I said that I hoped she was feeling better and she smiled at me as she wiped her hands and said yes she did. She was about forty but very pretty with soft brown hair and blue eyes. I liked her and when she asked me if I'd like to have a cup of coffee with her I instantly agreed. In the cafe she went on to tell me how she'd taken a laxative the night before cos she hadn't gone for a couple of days. After we'd drunk our coffee she had to go again, she went to the toilet in the cafe and went in with her and held her bag. She pooped out another massive load, holding her stomach and squirming and groaning as she went, she took five sheets of paper to wipe. When sh! e was through, Debbie, that was her name, invited me to have coffee with her on Friday, I agreed to and I very much look forward to our "date."
John Q Public
For those of you who like to hear accident stories, I have a nice one for you. This happened just last night while I was out on my nightly walk. It was not realy hot, but I was very thirsty for some reason. I usualy walk from my house, way past the local high school, all the way to an old railroad siding every night. As I stated before, I was thirsty. About halfway to that siding there is a hardwear store with a vending machine right outside. I bought a 12 oz can of diet Pepsie and continued on my walk. I don't usualy wear a diaper on my walk, because if my little bladder starts to scream for reliefe, I can usualy just do my business, because the place I walk to is pretty much deserted.
Last night, however, there was no such luck. I drank my soda as I walked, and about an hour later, I was realy in dier need of a pee. The problem was that the local high school was having a major 'end of the school year' party, and they were just getting out when I realy needed to do my business, so I kept walking, and tried as best as I could to hold it until the cars and pedestrian traffice cleared up, but it was very crowded, and my bladder just could not hold out any longer. The spasms started, and my apethied sphincter just gave out and the pee just came out. It was not a long, forecufel stream, but it was enough to make a large wet spot in my groin, and id did run down my lets and into my socks and shoes. I was wearing reasonably new blue jeans, and it was dark, so nobody noticed it as far as I know. There were several girls and two guys right in front of me talking about how 'cool' the part was, so even though they probably saw nothing, I was still embarass! ed.
Now even when I don't have anything to drink, I still end up having to stop for a pee when I go on my walks. In normal circumstances, I just let loose behind a tree or in so me bushes. There are alot of deserted allys, but this time there was no private place at all.
If any of you were in my situation, would you wear a diaper, even though it would encomber the walk, or would you just risk an accident in the usual hopes that there will be a private place to pee? Just curious.