Allie
hi i'm Allie. i'm 27, slim, blonde hair, blue eyes, kinda short. here's 3 stories.
1. i was 22 and in a hotel in texas. i was spending a week with my parents so my husband could get to know them better.
we were in a nice hotel room and it was about 1 in the morning. i woke up sweating bad and almost crapping my pink underwear.
i hated this hotel cuz the toilet on our floor was all the way down the hall. i got up got our key and was out the door. i walked real careful so i wouldn't get diarrhea in my undies. i got closer and opened the door to the stalls and found 2 stalls. 1 had a person throwing up and didn't sound like he'd be out very soon. the other sounded like the person was taking a big crap.
so i grabbed my buttcheeks. the person who was puking flushed, cleaned up in the bathroom (it sounded like it) and left. i rushed in, pulled down my panties, and let loose.
diarrhea is blech. i squeezed my buttcheeks and looked, and i saw a flood of mushy crap. i sat again and crapped and crapped.
then i started to piss. i pissed and pissed. i finished and got out of there.
2. i was running a race with my friends when i was 12. i drank alot of water. while i was in the woods, waiting for my dad to blow the whistle, i was drinking water and telling jokes. my friend Katy said a really funny one and we all laughed and i had to piss SOOOOO badly. i ran to the porta potty because i had to go sooo bad (i usually don't use porta potties). but my dad was in there crapping and i got even more desperate!!!!
my dad came out and i had just started to leak. he slapped me on the back and said "ready for that big race Allie?" and i ran in as fast as i could. i pulled down my skirt and panties and sat down and started to piss. it felt sooooo good! but when i drank more water when i got back, i finished the race first and ran as fast as i could to the porta potty and peed more, then went home.
3. i was at my birthday party when i was 11. i ate a lot of pizza and cake and drank a lot of root beer. then i had to crap so i went to the bathroom and sat down. i peed for 10 mins and pushed. i pushed harder and harder and harder. i couldn't go so i went and told my mom. she gave me a laxative thing and lemme tell you, those things work GOOD on me.
in 30 mins i was waiting for the toilet cuz my friend April was in there. i was dancing around and then she came out and i ran in and sat down.
tons of crap came out, all runny and watery. a few mins later i was playing, then got another urge so i ran back in. then i was in there for a lot longer.
at night i got up at least 35 times cuz i ate soooo much and the laxative REALLY worked. by the next day my ass was sore and raw. i told my mom and she said "well you're probably cleaned out" but i wasn't cause i went back to the toilet 12 more times that day. my system was really cleaned out.
Nature Courtney D.
hi, i'm 21, 5"6, blonde hair, sort of skinny, and i love peeing outdoors in the nature ever since i was a little kid. anyways, i'm not exactly new here, i've been reading stories here for about a month now, but i just never found the time to post a story up until now.
anyways, here's my story: Me and a few friends of mine was going camping, during the trip to the woods where we were going camping, i started to feel the need to pee. i thought that was a good chance for me to go in the woods, so i wanted to hold on until i make it to the woods. it took us about 2 full hours until we finally got there. right after i got out of my seat, i needed to go pee extremly bad, but i needed to go help with setting up the tents, so i just helped them. after about 20 minutes, our tents were finally done. after that, i told them i needed to go pee, so i went to the woods somewhere to do it. after i got far away enough, i just went behind a bush, and just quickly pulled down my pants and underwear, and started peeing. it felt so good peeing so much at once. after about a minute or so, i was finally finished. after i got my pants and underwear back on, i just went back to my friends after that.Jeff
Once in junior high school, while playing at recess, I thought I had to fart, and let it rip, but shit my pants instead. I quickly rushed inside, into the boys room which had no doors on the stalls, and sat on a toilet and finished shitting. I pulled off my pants and underpants, hoping that no one would come in. I threw my underpants away, and luckily no shit had leaked into my jeans. I cleaned off my butt and free-balled the rest of the day. It must have taken ten or fifteen minutes, but luckily no one came in. My only shitting my pants experience.K.
Long time, no post, huh? In my earlier posts, you may remember me saying that I had a weak bladder. Well, I'd been working on it and I had gotten to the point where I could make it all day without peeing.
Well, here lately, for some reason I can't do that anymore. By about 10:00 am (instead of 3-4 pm), I have to pee really bad. I'm not sure why, maybe I've just been drinking more in the mornings or something. Anyway, it's usually not a problem because I get a break around then but one day a couple of weeks ago I hadn't gone at break (I don't think I had to pee then... or who knows, maybe I DID go at break, I can't remember now.. anyway...) and by 3rd period I had to pee pretty badly.
Unfortunately, I don't have time to go to the bathroom between 3rd and 4th period because the classrooms are so far apart. so, I just had to hold it. I figured if it got bad enough then I could just ask to leave (of course, I don't know what I was thinking, because I never ask to go to the bathroom--it's too embarrassing). 4th period is the lunch period, so it's the longest class, and naturally, I have the latest lunch (4th period is divided into 3 lunch periods).
We had a test or something that day and our really weird and sometimes strict student teacher wouldn't let anyone leave the room (because she's new there, all of the students take advantage of her so she just decided not to let anyone go to the bathroom or leave the room at all to keep people from skipping her class or whatever). One girl who usually pesters the student teacher had already asked to go to the bathroom and Ms. Crazy Student Teacher said "no." I figured that she wouldn't let me go either, so I just tried to wait.
I haven't come that close to an accident in school in a long, long time. And I'm a senior! I shouldn't ever get even close to losing control. I had to keep my legs crossed and I was shaking my leg, bouncing up and down, whatever I could do. At one point, I came so close to losing control that I had tears in my eyes. I looked frantic that one of my friends from across the room actually asked what was wrong and if I was okay.
I made it until the bell rang, but barely. I had to walk halfway across campus to get to the cafeteria, but I made it to the bathrooms. The bathrooms in that building are disgusting and there is only a lock on one or two doors, but I didn't care. Since no one else was in there then, I started taking off my belt unbuttoning my jeans before I even got into the stall. I barely got everything down in time.
I peed forever. I remember wondering where it all came from because I was pretty sure that I hadn't drank that much. I kind of wonder now if I had remembered to go before I left home that morning. That's the only explanation that I can think of. Anyway, I probably peed for a couple of minutes and it was really loud, echoing in the empty bathroom. Of course, halfway through it all, a couple of girls walked in and were probably stunned by the performance. If they were, they didn't make any comments. I tried to slow it down, but I couldn't at all, it was just like a waterfall. And everytime that I would think that I was through, I would squeeze a little and there would be another neverending torrent.
It was the best pee that I've had in a long time. The most that I've peed in a long time, the most desperate, the loudest, the longest...
Just thought it was worth sharing.
By the way, when I'm at home, I like playing hold-it games with myself (every now and then) and I'm kind of into desperation. Could anyone give me any tips on how to get desperate for a pee really quickly? I'm not patient enough to ever wait until I'm truly, 100% desperate. Any advice? I know that tea always wreaks havoc on my bladder (the caffeine, I guess???) anything else? I don't do alcohol, so that's out of the question.
Anyone know of any fun ways to pee (different positions, outside, in containers, just whatever you can think of!)?
Thanks!holly
why is every1 squeemish [including me] about something as normal as peeing?
Polly
I had a well needed pee just a few hours ago. i got at 7 a.m -did my morning pee- and then went to school. i never go pee at school so by the 2 rolled around i was feeling a bit full. Me and my friend decided to go to a movie afterwards, and by the time it over i was bursting for a good pee. Yet my friend said she had no time and had to get home. So i decided i could hold out for just a little while longer. So mia and i both left. When i got home i forgot i needed to go so i just hung out and watched tv for a while until i got a HUGE urge to go! I ran to the bathroom and released 13 hours of pee! It felt GREAT.Speedybk
hi yall,
I'm suprised by all the interest in me and my experiences.
I'm going to eplain and stuff since you guys are wanting to know and fyi I'm 24 male and the middle of the usa.
OK, I'm going to tell you that my female friend and i were starting to think about dating. So she asked me the million dollar question. "How do you go to the Bathroom anyway?"
So i thought and i was hopping she meant pee. Which is a simple bag system like many para's and quad's use so she said ook, and then said so you don't need to poop? So i said i do but differently than most. So she's asking me how that worked and what i did i thought she was curious like i was. BUT she thought i, was a perv when i said that I'd rather have her see and if she felt comfortable i could watch her once.
So to the matter at hand Going number 2 aka a dump.
As i stated last time I'm disabled I'm a quadripledgic and can't move below my neck.
Yes every other day actually it's almost still at night i get assitance with my no.2 i take a lax during the day and before the "program" as they call it, i get a suppository.
I then usually fall back asleep because it starts at 4:30 a.m.
The nurse which i have one nearly 24 hours a day, then the nurse does prom(passive range of motion)at around 5a.m. This really can get everything moving.
After that i usually have a small pile of poop from those exercises They roll me over to my left side then, i get cleaned up a little bit. They also change the paper pad out
Then i usually wake back up, because that's when they do most of the helping. If you ever have had help you know what is next. So they get their gloves on and stick a finger up my anus and feel around for 10-30 secs. And that doesn't feel the best but, after that my body will either start to push it out or it'll stick. That's the part i really hate because they only do the finger thing about ten minutes. In which i sit there feeling like i wish i could do something or some how push myself. After they do that a few times i usually feel pretty good but not all nurses care as much so i don't always get relief.
Anyone get too much sorry.
I hope that helps you all and I'll let you know anything if you post backAT
Emily, I enjoyed your post about peeing your panties when you were in elementary school, and I hope you'll post more about your "naughty fun". Has your fun continued as an adult?
You're absolutely right about how nice a warm, wet pair of pants feels.
I had a pretty embarassing experience the other day. A lot of times I like to sit to pee, even though I am male. Every once in awhile, it happens that my penis isn't fully pointing down into the toilet, and so my pee squirts out through the gap between the toilet seat and the toilet. And even this isn't usually a problem; the pee dribbles down the outside of the toilet and pools on the floor -- easy to clean up with some TP and no harm done. But this time events conspired against me. I was wearing a pair of light gray slacks, I was at work and it was mid-morning. The only open toilet in the men's room was the handicap stall, and so the toilet is a bit higher off the floor than the others. And so as it happened, my pants and underwear were directly below the gap, and I peed a full bladderful directly into my lowered pants, soaking them thoroughly. I had no choice but to pull them up and proceed with my workday -- it looked exactly like I'd pissed my pants (a wet rear end and crotch, and streaks down the inside of my thighs halfway to my knees), and due to their light gray color, my "accident" was very noticeable. I tried to hide behind my desk as much as possible, and the pants dried to a faint stain in a few hours, but the underwear stayed pretty damp all day. I didn't exactly mind the wet feeling (kinda enjoyed it), but I could have done without the embarassment.Shelby
Hey y'all, my name's Tracy, I'm 21 years old and when I was in high school, I developed a pleasure of soiling myself.
It all started in my sophomore year, when my sister, who was my ride home from school left me there, so I had to walk home. But on my way home, I had to wait for a traffic jam to clear, I had to poop really badly, and I couldn't get across the street, let alone make it the last 6 blocks to my house. I stood there, squirming anf tapping my foot, and doing the desperation dance, finally, I saw an opening, and started making my way home, however I didn't get far. I got across the street, and about another block, and had to stop to hold it in, I realized it was inevitable and that I would undoubtedly soil my pants. I couldn't find a place to do it privately, since I was still on a busy street, so I tried to make it look natural, and I bent over to act like I was tying my shoelace and while I was pretending, I really did lose control of my bowels. I felt it poke out, a small piece broke off, and more came out. I hoped to God that this wouldn't leave much of a bulge, Some more came out, and I felt it touch my panties and start to push against them. Then it all just came out, all at once, like a flood. Semi-soft poop flattened itself between my cheeks and my panties, and I stood up. I tried to make it look like I hadn't done anything, but I think it was pretty obvious and I was wearing light blue jeans that were skin tight, over white panties. I reached back and felt a bumpy bulge in my jeans, and broke down in shame. My attempt at secrecy had failed, but I realized it wasn't as bad as everybody always made it out to be.
Everybody always goes on about how horrible it is to crap go in yourself; to have an accident. But I wonder why? Wow, you get some extra weight in your pants that smells a little bad and could stain your clothes? Why do people treat it like the end of the world? In the five years since I have started pooping myself, I have set aside a few pairs of panties and jeans that I poop in when I'm just going to hang around in my dorm, or drive for a while, which I clean out, then wash. Sure, they're horribly stained, but since I clean them they don't smell bad.
My room mates in my dorm have adapted to my lifestyle, and never open the drawer I keep these clothes in. I love being able to just lean over and go whenever I need to, and have occasionally considered diapers, but never go through with it, but I might soon, since I haven't gotten to see what wet pants feel like yet, only soiled.Humppa
Have you ever had an accident? When I was a kid
Have you ever peed/pooped in the woods?yeah, I mean what else do you do when you're camping in the woods?
Do you pee a lot? 3 or 4 times/day
Do you have diarrhea a lot? no, only when I'm really sick
Are your poops liquid, breakable, a little solid, normal, or hard? normal, sometimes bit harder, sometimes bit softer
Are you OK with using public toilets? Only when I really have to go. Still prefer a tree for peeing though.
Have you ever been seen peeing/pooping? In the woods...but only peeing. Can't remeber if someone has actually seen me pooping. Well yeah, maybe my mom when I was a kid.Emily
Wetting my pants, on the way home from school, was another one of my pleasures that I learned after my first real school-age accident that I mentioned earlier. What I would do, on the way home, was like this. I would not take advantage of the mid-afternoon restroom break at school. I would, simply, tell my teacher that I didn't "have to go". Then, by the time school was dismissed I usually had, at least, a mild need for a bathroom (sometimes it was getting close to urgent before dismissal). As I walked home I would simply let a little spurt out with every few steps. Most days this resulted in quite damp underpants by the time I got home. As I mentioned, in my last post, I enjoyed the feeling of losing control a little bit at a time. I found the growing damp/warm feeling somewhat comforting, and I liked the feel of the wet underpants against myself. There were a couple of times that I had more of an urgency due to drinking more water in the afternoon or drinking a soda at lunch. On these days I knew that short spurts while walking wasn't going to work. I didn't want to just continue walking because I knew that I would lose total control and didn't want my classmates to notice that I was peeing. When this happened I would stop and sit down in the grass, making sure I wasn't sitting on my dress and act like I was fixing my bookbag or my shoes. While sitting thusly I would simply let myself go and completely wet my pants. After wetting I would simply get up as though I fixed my bag or shoes and continue walking home. I rarely got caught with wet pants and I dearly enjoyed the feeling of wetting and being wet.Brad
How's everybody doing? I've been browsing on this site for almost a year now finding and perusing all kinds of exciting stories, but I, myself, have posted only once. That post appears on Page 1393. Now for some background info about myself. I'm a male, am 22 years old, have a slender body, have very curly dark brown hair, have brown eyes, and am a junior in college. I recently remembered an unusual incident involving my younger sister, who's three and a half years my junior, and me that I thought I'd share. This happened many years ago when the two of us were kids. It was nighttime one day and my sister and I, for some resaon, were outside in the backyard talking. She was standing on the edge of our patio leaning against the barbecue which was anchored in the ground, which we had at that time. I was just in front of her either kneeling on, sitting on, or squatting over the grass. Maybe I was looking for something. Anyhow, we were just chatting normally and at one moment I was looking away from her. Suddenly, I heard this hissing sound arise nearby. I raised my head and looked ahead with my eyes wide open wondering what it was. It was coming from behind me, so I turned around and looked at my sister. I looked down and saw liquid dripping from all across the bottom of her denim shorts into the grass. I was getting an uncensored view of my sister peeing in her pants right in front of me! She hadn't said a word about needing to go to the bathroom or given any other indication that she needed to go. From what I remember, oddly, she kept a straight face the whole time while voiding, as if this were normal (this never has been normal for her!)! I was so flabbergasted that I think I was speechless for a moment. My sister continued pissing herself and in a few moments the hissing sound faded away and the falling urine dribbled to a stop. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I all I could muster was something like "Sarah, what happened? What did you do?" All she replied was, "I had an accident." She had been feeling sick lately, but even being aware of that, I still wondered why someone would not even try to make it to the restroom when he/she needs to go, even while ill. It didn't seem that difficult to me. I asked my mom about this later on that night. She said that sometimes when people don't feel well, it's hard for them to make it in time or they just can't. I still thought that was rather strange. How about you guys? Have any of you ever been sick one time and really didn't feel like trying to make it to the bathroom, so you just let it rip where you were and in what you were wearing? How common is this? Keep the good posts comin'!Dave B
To Ashley -
Thanks for replying =) Those are some strange dreams? Do you like those kind of dreams? I wish I could blown off some girls panties lol. The only dreams I have are of strange monsters trying to attack me or just some random thing. Anyways, my toilet experiences for me have been pretty basic. I have had no problems with clogging, which is good, because I always used to clog it. It's probably because I haven't been eating as much and I have been eating more fiber so it's easier to go down. Did you have any more dreams? I'd love to hear about any other bathroom experiences you have had with all the details =) Try to write back as soon as you can. Well I'm going to get going so I'll write back later and mention any experiences I have in the future.Greg
Hey Zip!
You're always writing about that bathroom with the doorless stalls FACING each other!! I'm in my forties and think I'm relatively uninhibited, but I think that would even freak ME out!! Take a look at my post on page 1458!! THAT was a BAD situation for that guy!!
I gotta believe the majority of people would be very resistant to letting their pants down and going unless they felt they were out of options. I am positive if you've seen a large number of people in there, a few of them HAD to have been DIRE emergencies of people who otherwise wouldn't dream of letting loose there. I'd be very interested in hearing about some of the highlights!!
For some of you who have read my posts the past month, you may think that ALL I DO is just see people have pooping emergencies day in and day out. Keep in mind that I am in my mid-forties now and these are recollections from nearly 30 years. I actually have a few GREAT stories I'm saving up because once THEY get posted, they have nowhere to go in quality but down.
I have TWO follow up stories here. The second one starts dealing with one guy I know who is not an exhibitionist at all, but still TOTALLY comfortable about dumping no matter what the circumstances.
---------------STORY 1----------------------------------------------
A few weeks ago, you will recall on page 1459, I posted the story about a guy named Jake who struggled through a major crap as his father and I worked on finishing up a claim within earshot of the toilet where he sat. This was one of two exceptions in visiting over 5000 people's homes over the past few years to handle inspections. 99.9% come off without incident. This is another story of one very major exception.
A year ago on Christmas Eve day, I had scheduled a half day of appointments to end by noon. The final appointment of the day was with a young man named Craig who had some pipes freeze along an exterior wall and knocking the bathroom upstairs out of commission leaving only a half bath on the lower level usable for a family of 7. I already knew from the policy information I gathered that Craig would not reach his 30th birthday for several more months, yet here he was living in a Colonial in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the area and ALREADY had 5 children with a sixth on the way. We we're scheduled to meet up at his home right after 1 and I arrived at the appointed time and found he was not there. After waiting a bit, I got a call on my cell phone from Greg apologizing that his lunch appointment ran over and he was on his way. Eventually, he did arrive home about 55 minutes late. I was really ticked off at this point but I maintained my professional demeanor. He knew about our appointment and he knew he couldn't just let his lunch appointment run over. I really felt it might have actually been a little bit of arrogance and that he felt his time was more important than mine. That was ok.... Craig was going to more than make it up to me in a BIG way!! ;-)
When he got home, Craig apologized but I really didn't think it was all that sincere. This was an attractive rugged-looking young guy dressed and built like a lumberjack. Under his jacket, he wore a flannel shirt. His denim jeans seemed barely able to contain a very firm, round, athletic-looking buttocks. Further down, he wore tan work boots that covered what I figured were size 14 feet. Craig stood 6'3 on a very sturdy-looking 225-pound frame. Craig apparently had not gone to college but was next in line to take over a very successful construction/contracting business from his father. Craig then took me inside to tour the damage. Walking inside, I saw a family portrait hanging in the living room. His wife was a very attractive blonde and Craig had his brown hair trimmed very short in the portrait as it was on this day. It appeared that the youngest of his 5 children, a daughter, had Downs Syndrome which immediately gave me a LOT more sympathy for him. I wasn't going to ask about it unless it came up. Apparently he and his wife still felt it was ok to have more children as their sixth was about 3 months away. Craig advised that his wfe and four youngest children were already at her parent's home and he would be joining them after we finished up and his 7-year-old son in First Grade got home.
At some point while Craig showed me the damages, his bowels, not appreciating his recent diet declared war on him and the first wave of shit quickly overran and occupied his rectum. This well-equipped and well-armed army of shit then opened up an artillery barrage on Craig's last line of defense, the sphincter. Under relentless bombardment, the rectum then sent a desperate S.O.S. signal to Craig's brain via G.I. contractions to let Craig know he was under attack and to get his butt to the nearest toilet. Receiving this message, Craig sent a message back to the sphincter that he was busy with me and to hold out and try to negotiate a temporary truce with the enemy until he was done with me. Craig and I then went down to the kitchen table to figure out an estimate of repair and agree on an appropriate amount to cover the damages to the home. A few moments later, Craig's brain got another desperate message from below advising that the enemy was demanding nothing less than total and unconditional surrender and that he was badly outgunned. His sphincter was BEGGING for relief and advised that the enemy bombardment was quickly wearing down its defense and its position would soon be overrun.
At this point, Craig realized that holding out until we were done could only yield one of two possible results. Those possible results were; A. Being completely miserable in a desperate struggle to hold his shit back or B. Failure to hold the overwhelming tide back and filling his pants with shit in front of me. Realizing those two options were not acceptable, Craig finally gave up the struggle and quickly got up from the table to head to the bathroom.
"I'm really, really sorry." Craig advised as he got up from the table now wearing a very concerned look. "I need to have you excuse me so I can use the restroom. I'll do my best to be right back." It was then that I noticed that Craig had let loose one of the most RANCID-smelling farts I have EVER smelled in my life. It didn't take a brain surgeon or a psychic to figure out why he had to leave the table. If this had been a guy who I was friends with or even someone who I wasn't serving in a professional capacity, I would have been ALL OVER his case!! Whatever he had eaten, I'm guessing it had pretty high sulfur content. (Eggs and garlic can do this.)
"Sure." I said. "I'm not in a hurry." (Well, I was BEFORE, but at least not NOW I wasn't!!)
"I REALLY apologize!" He said as he hurried to the half bath right off the small back hall from the kitchen. "I'll try to get back to you as fast as I can..." As he closed the bathroom door, Craig farted again, this time QUITE loudly. I then heard the toilet seat bang down and heard Craig tear several sheet of toilet paper off the roll, presumably to wipe the seat. Craig farted yet again as he worked on his belt in preparation to drop his pants. I was already speculating that the pressure from the shit inside Craig had to have been unbearable for him to give up like this. I began wondering just how loaded he was. Having gotten his belt, top button and zipper undone, Craig dropped his pants in defeat and unconditionally surrendered his butt to the badly-needed toilet. With his desperate and ultimately futile struggle now abandoned, the defeated young man quickly let loose 5 rapid-fire farts that sounded like firecrackers being set off in the toilet. Bblutbblutbblattbblattbbloot!! Now, I have no idea what it was that Craig had for lunch (or the evening before??), but whatever it was, it SHOULD have come with some kind of a warning or disclaimer that it makes you SHIT!!! (Maybe something like what comes on Cigarettes, Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined That Consumption of This Food Product May Stimulate Rapid Fecal Production and May Be Hazardous To Your Pants.") (Keep in mind here that the upstairs bathroom was knocked out of commission due to freeze damage.)
In the next moment the first of 3 very long, very soft logs of shit came thundering out of Craig. The crackling sound was very reminiscent of popcorn in a microwave oven popping rapidly. Thupthapthapthoopthoopthupthapsplatthapthupthupthoopthupthupsplatthapsplootsplutthapthapsplutthoopthapthapthupsplutsplatsplutthap. I could hear Craig audibly grunt in relief and wondered what he could have been thinking and feeling as he sat there overwhelmingly loaded with excrement and helplessly bumming on the toilet KNOWING I was in plain earshot of his very noisy major dump. After a 15-second respite, the second serious log, similar in size and consistency with the first came roaring out of Craig who gasped and gasped during and after the surge. At this time, I noticed that even with the door closed, the odor from Craig's overwhelming dump was SO strong you could actually smell it there outside in the family room. I began to wonder whether Craig had dropped a major load of crap or a zoo full of dead animals.
This time, Craig got about a 30-second respite before launching his 3rd wave. Thupthapthapthoopthoopthupthapsplatthapthupthupthoopthupthupsplatthapsplootsplutthapthapsplutthoopthapthapthupslutsplatsplutthap. Finally, the toilet and Craig fell silent. This last wave prompted Craig to finally flush the toilet although the odor now already permeated the family room. After about a minute and a half, I thought for sure Craig had to be done. If not, he certainly would should have been relieved enough to wipe up, flush and return back to our business. ........ Or so I thought. The combination of Craig's looks, desperation, awkward situation and sheer volume of noisy crap ALREADY made for a good enough story to post here. Craig had said he would try to be back as quickly as he could and there certainly was no advantage for him to linger on the toilet with his pants down any longer than he had to. However, a few moments later, Craig erupted with a series of farts. While I felt really bad for Craig for his really awkward SITuation, there wasn't a whole lot I could do besides wait for Craig while he crapped, and crapped, and crapped, and crapped, and CRAPPED. It wasn't like I could go do something else like take another tour of his house or whatever. And I wasn't about to wait outside the house in the FRIGID weather. Why would I want to do that and miss THIS anyway?? Besides, Craig definitely contributed to his SITuation both by his choice of where and what to eat at lunch (I was later to find out it was an Indian restaurant where he KNEW the food sometimes overstimulated his bowels) and by running so late. If he would have kept our appointed time, then I would have already left by the time his massive shit hit him.
Moments after this, Craig had another series of rippling farts mixed in with crackling ribbons of secondary shit. You all know what I'm talking about Those tenacious little secondary ribbons that seem to come ENDLESSLY. We've all gotten them at one time. Well, Craig was now going through it within earshot of me, helpless to do anything about it except to try and crap through it.. For the next TWENTY MINUTES, Craig either farted, or farted while crackling out more shit. The farting with shit crackles were spaced in 60 to 80-send intervals, while the farts by themselves were more tightly spaced around every 30 to 40 seconds. Much of the time, I could hear Greg sigh or breathing heavily during a long crackle. The sound of frustration was very evident in his sighs and the frustration only mounted over time as Craig tried time after time to finish this dump only to be hit with more shit ribbons crackling out. I figured Craig must have had more ribbons than Whoville on Christmas. (After the Grinch RETURNED everything.) I figured Craig had to feel absolutely humiliated knowing all his bowel sounds were resonating from the bathroom as he sat there farting and filling the toilet with more shit. I then decided if Greg was not to feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable with me when his bowels eventually released him from their fierce some grip, then I had better help him save face. The only way I could figure to do that was to relate to him a dumping experience I had had. There were a few awkward moments in my dumping memories, but nothing QUITE as bad as the action Craig had going on. Therefore, I decided to make something up. If you readers will remember, back on page 1458, I posted a story about the kid who was forced to do his business in that bathroom where the toilets were out in the open. Well, I decided THAT was an experience about as bad as they come, so I decided to tell Craig that it happened to ME and that it was I who absorbed a ton of abuse. (Note: As someone with some experience counseling, I know that relating TOO well to someone else's pain and adversity can often backfire as it can come across as minimizing the other person's experience by "trumping" their experience with an even bigger war story of your own. This time I felt it would be ok however as Craig could have a good laugh at my expense and feel like I would be less inclined to laugh at him.)
About 15 minutes into his Craig's ordeal, his 7-year-old son arrived home early as they had planned. The school was only a few blocks away and there was no crossing of a busy main road in this residential area, so usually the kid just walked home with friends. I heard the front door bang open announcing his arrival and I heard his footsteps coming up the other hall. Before I knew it, he was at the bathroom door opening it before I could say anything. Can't say I would have been particularly reliable to say anything anyway! ;-) Before you know it, I was getting a varied repeat of the Jake situation (page 1459) as Jeremy busted in on his loaded dad right in the middle of a good loud crackle. Inside the bathroom, there was a half wall (claims and construction people call this a "knee wall") to sort of visually protect people on the toilet from accidental views. However, because of Greg's height, I was still able to get a great glimpse of his pants around his knees and his head and shoulders as he leaned forward. (Note to Zip: His briefs were white.) Craig probably felt this was the crowing blow in a bad SITuation, but I really wasn't surprised by it and already KNEW in my mind what he looked like on the toilet. Seeing him visually only confirmed what I had already figured out for myself. Yes, he looked GREAT sitting there, but I had no reason before to think otherwise anyway.
"Whoa!! SORRY Dad! Jeremy exclaimed as he started to close the door.
"Hold on, Jer! I need a favor" Craig called back to his son who left the door open.... I don't think I have enough paper left here so I need you to go upstairs and get some."
"Sure dad." Replied Jeremy as he started backing out the door.
"And remember, we TALKED about KNOCKING before you just go barging into somewhere where a door is closed. You haven't forgotten that already have you??"
"Sorry dad. I have to go really bad and the bathroom upstairs isn't working. How long are you going to be??"
"I'm doing the best I CAN here. Now go get the paper and I'll try to free this bathroom up for you as soon as I can get done here."
"All right.." Jeremy replied as he closed the door and dashed up stairs to find the paper. In the two minutes Jeremy was away, Craig tried to pick up the pace and farted repeatedly, eight times in total and 3 times crackled out some more soft shit. When Jeremy returned, he opened the door again giving me yet another view from down the hall.
"Thanks bud." said Craig taking the paper. "How was school today??"
"ItWasGoodAreYouAlmostDONEIHaveToGOooooooo!!!" Replied Jeremy running all his words together in urgency.
"I'm doing the best I can here chief. You're just going to have to be patient. I shouldn't be more than a few minutes. Now close the door and wait outside."
"Oooooooohhhhh" Jeremy moaned while closing the door. I could only imagine what things would be like for this family in a few years when they had still more kids and they were all competing for 2 bathrooms. It reminded me of another family I knew in high school. (I've already made one posting about Josh and I have a few MORE where THAT story came from.)
For the next 5 minutes, Craig farted and crackled quite a bit more on the toilet, and this was with INCENTIVE to finish up as quickly as possible because I was waiting for his at the dining room table while Jeremy squirmed and moaned in the foyer. One time, Jeremy called in desperately "Hurry UP Dad!! I have to Gooooo!!" Craig followed this up by saying, "Hold on buddy!! I'm almost done!!"
FINALLY, about 22-23 minutes after Craig had surrendered, his bowels finally released their prisoner of war and Craig was at last able to start wiping. After countless wipes, Craig called back to Jeremy, "Hey Buddy, if you want to trade places, you can get in here now." Jeremy then dashed into the bathroom as his dad was flushing the toilet and quickly dropped his pants and sat down just as soon as Craig had gotten up and hiked his pants back up. Craig then quickly washed his hands then closed the door behind him and returned to the table as his son went at it. Apparently, Craig had done his son no favors genetically by passing on his considerable dumping 'ability' to his offspring. But, at least he had left the seat nice and warm for him.
"Whheeeew... I am sooooo SORRY about that!" Craig said as he returned to the table."
"Hey, your secret is safe with me." I relied. It WASN'T!!!!! ;-) (However, I DID change the name for the purpose of this posting so I guess his secret is STILL safe.) "When I was in high school, I was at a football game in Lansing and suddenly had to drop a #2 in the WORST way. When I got to the bathroom, all there were was this line of toilets in the center of the room with doors or barriers of any type!!"
"Oh My God!!" Laughed Craig. I REMEMBER that stadium!! We used to call it the bathroom from hell!!"
"Yeah, that's what it was!! Anyhow, I didn't have any other choice but to sit down and let loose. No sooner do I do that, but a whole bunch of my so-called 'friends' from school come in and start heaping abuse on me!! So I've definitely had my awkward moment!"
After that Craig and I were able to talk much more comfortably. He even related to me a few more awkward bathroom experiences he had in the past as well. It was all very cool. Craig even told me that eventually, that school in Lansing I told you about (p. 1458) got so many complaints about the bathroom configuration, they finally put in a big investment to change it all around. Craig's company had actually put in a bid to land that job, but it apparently went to a less qualified contractor who put in a low-ball bid and wined and dined whoever it is that makes those decisions.
In all, after Craig returned to the table and we talked, it took me all of ten minutes to write my estimate, or less than half the time it took for Craig to take a shit!!
After that, I took off and headed back to my office. Oh, for anyone wondering about Jeremy's fate, the poor kid was STILL crackling away on the crapper as I walked out the door! Like father, like son.
-------------STORY 2 -----------------------------------------
For several years, I used to lead a discipleship group for my church's youth ministries. It was such a cool time of relationship building. For a period of 5 years, I had the same group of 5 guys in a study group from the time they were in 8th grade up until their high school graduation four years ago. These guys are all now 22 and in various stages of trying to build a career. Their names were Josh, Brandon, Nate, Chris, and Ryan. Josh, Brandon, and Nate were wrestlers but not teammates as they went to different schools, but it gave them that common ground as friends and almost always hung out together if their teams were entered in the same tournaments. There will be MORE on that in another posting.
I can't really say there were any truly memorable dumping experiences with Chris, or Ryan, but Josh, Brandon, and Nate all shared different experiences with me which I will be posting on. This particular story relates to Josh who is still one of the COOLEST most down-to-earth people I know. Even now at age 22 he stands just 5'8 and MIGHT get up to 145 pounds soaking wet after a meal. Josh has dark hair with dark eyes and features that are almost hispanic looking even though his parents are both caucasion. Josh has the biggest happiest grin you've ever seen in your life and you can't help but have a good day after talking to him even if its been a pile of crap up until then. Physically, Josh isn't the biggest guy, but he is lean, toned, and muscular. He's also not the most motivated guy either taking life pretty much as it comes although I understand he's doing pretty good in sales for his dad's electrician business.
One time a few years back when the guys were 17-year-old high school juniors, I went with the group on a weekend church retreat a couple hundred miles from home. On Saturday morning after breakfast at the retreat, I went downstairs after breakfast to drop the daily deuce. The stalls only had curtains instead of doors so I chose the first one. Ripping the curtain, I discovered Josh in the middle of cleaning off the seat and lining it with paper. Josh must have come in the outside entrance as I had not seen him in front of me. I quickly apologized but Josh just grinned widely and and said "No problem! Do you need to take a big massive DUMP like I do??
"Gee Josh, " I replied kiddingly. "I don't know if I could do *ANYTHING* quite like you, but yeah, I do need to drop a bomb." As I walked into the other stall, one of the first things I noticed was the top of the partition was a bit on the low side and I could see Josh's face and shoulders as he stood in front of the toilet. Josh gave me one of his huge grins as if somehow taking a dump with me was the greatest thing that could happen to him. I could tell by the motion of his shoulder and upper arms that he was at work on his belt buckle getting ready to drop his pants. Beaming a wide grin as he saw me walk in to the stall Josh looked over at me and said "Bro, I need to take a CRAP soooo bad!!" As you readers are probably figuring out for yourself, Josh was just an incredibly good-natured guy.
"Yeah." I replied. I've got the urge myself." I then started working on my own belt buckle.
"That's cool!" Josh shot back. "We can take our dumps together!!!" Josh then dropped his pants and disappeared behind the partition.
"Josh, there's NOTHING in this world that would please me more." I kidded back, then got my own pants down and took a seat myself.
Josh laughed and then grunted simultaneously. As I looked over at Josh's dropped pants and his shoes, (Note to Zip: Josh was wearing plaid boxers) I noticed that not only was the top of the partition a bit on the low side, but the bottom of the partition was also quite high while the toilet Josh was on was quite low. This combination inadvertently gave me a view of the bottom of Josh's butt on the toilet. Not only that, but there were exceptionally WIDE spacers between the toilet seat and the bowl. Josh then farted VERY loudly heralding the start of his major dump. I then heard *AND SAW* a WHOLE BUNCH of shit crackle out of Josh. The crackling was exceptionally loud and in this case, exceptionally VISIBLE. Josh apparently had been quite loaded because Josh sat bumming and bumming as the shit just kept coming and coming. I figured the shit was coming out of Josh at the rate of 2 inches per second and it lasted for 15-16 seconds. In other words, it was an absolute MONSTER. As the last of the MASSIVE turd finally crackled out of Josh, I heard him grunt and gasp in relief. Josh was absolutely NOT KIDDING when he said he needed to crap really bad, as I could see for MYSELF firsthand.
"Wheeeeew!" said Josh. "You have NO IDEA how bad I needed that!!" Josh obviously still hadn't realized just how high the bottoms of these partitions were. I absolutely could not believe my eyes over how much shit had come out of Josh.
"I don't know Josh." I said ironically. "I might have a lot better idea than you realize!" The disconcerting thing was I then realized if Josh looked over, he would have been able to see MY crap coming out as well!! I thought to how I saw him GRINNING and joking as he prepared to drop his pants. He had to have been DYING with that monster inside him. Just about any other person would have been sweating bulltes in panic trying to hold back such a beast. I figured Josh must be one of those guys with an unusual holding and dumping capacity. Josh was (ans is) also one of those guys that would be happy and jovial during a root canal or having a wisdom tooth pulled.
A few moments later, Josh started gasping and giving birth to another big mean snake that slithered and hissed out of him as it made its way to to join its companion that had preceeded it into the toilet. As Josh sat in intense labor, he breathed very heavily through his nose while filling the toilet with excrement. I was stunned at what I was seeing. I figured if Josh's shitmakers were unionized, they would be collecting a very hefty bonus for all the overtime they were putting in. As the last of the slithering snaked finally hissed and crackled out of Josh's body, I could hear him exhale an almost euphoric sigh of relief.
"Duuude!!" Josh called over to me. "You're going to have to get over here and SEE this when I get done here or you're never going to BELIEVE me!!! I've never seen so much CRAP in my entire life!!" (Josh never ever said 'shit' in all the time I've known him.) I knew Josh wasn't particularly inhibited but I certainly wasn't expecting an invitation to go look at his dump.
"That's okay, Josh." I laughed "Somehow, I BELIEVE you!!"
I then saw Josh crackle out several Baby Ruth bars, presumably to feed his newborn snakes while I worked on my own dump. All the while Josh kept joking and yakking with me while bumming on the toilet, totally oblivious to what had gone on until he finally announced loudly how relieved he felt.
"Wow!!" Josh exclaimed. I feel Sooooo much better. I can't believe how bad I had to crap!!"
I finally had to say something since we prided on building our relationship on openness and honesty, although I wasn't sure if Josh was ready for THIS much honesty.
"Hey Bro...... I don't know how to break this too you, ......but, if you'll notice, the bottoms of these walls are quite high and the seats are quite low with these wide spacers..... I could SEE all your crap coming out as you were letting loose."
"OH.... MY.... GOD!! Josh yelped as he looked over and realized he had the same kind of setup as I did.... "That is TOOOO funny!! I've never seen anything like that!!"
"Well, I sure am glad you're being a good sport about it!!" I replied. We then agreed to confidentiality just like class since Josh wasn't hip on the idea of a lot of teenage girls knowing you could see his shit coming out. I later went to the camp maintenance manager and advised the partition being placed so high created an awkward situation. The manager agreed and had the partition lowered a few inches a couple hours later.
Josh and I STILL talk about that to this day five years later whenever I see him and we just BUST our laughing our heads off remembering it.