Mrs. Toilet Trooper
Houseshitting
Hello. It's Ebony, aka Mrs. Toilet Trooper here with a recent embarrassing situation or in this case, "shituation." Despite the fact that my sister Coco resides in a pleasant, well-to-do townhouse/apartment complex, the maintenance seemingly hesitate to solve their problems, choosing to repair townhouse problems a while after tenants report a problem. Additionally, though crime in the townhouse complex is extremely rare, last week, two tenants were victims of burglary and theft while away from home. Police supposedly apprehended the suspect a week after the burglaries, yet, one could not be too sure if the police caught the true or only perpetrator. Coco was maybe the only one in the complex with a serious recent maintenance problem, broken locks, or locks so weak that they barely even worked. Yet, despite the two burglaries, maintenance still slowly acknowledged the problem, claiming to repair her locks, only to constantly extend the dates. Thus, Coco wanted to ensure she protected her home from criminals.
Friday afternoon, more specifically, 6-1-12, while my hubby Brandon and I played with the children, I received a telephone call from Coco who said that she was going out of town with her boyfriend for the weekend to party all day and night as usual. Due to the problem with the locks, she needed someone to housesit for her and ensure that no one breaks into her house, as she trusted me more than she trusted anyone else that she knew. Wanting to help, I agreed to housesit for Coco. When Brandon and I arrived at the house with the children staying with my parents, Coco and her boyfriend were on their way out the door, explaining that she had plenty of food, such as my favourite, shrimp fried rice and beef stir-fry with jerk chicken, that we should not be bored whatsoever, and that, just in case something did happen, the 9mm was in her end table drawer. Noticeably, Coco had an entertainment centre in the livingroom facing her white leather livingroom set, complete with a stereo, Playstation 3, numerous CDs, video games, and decorated with real and exotic home plants. In other words, Coco made her house scream, "Please rob me!" After Brandon and I enjoyed Coco and her boyfriend's vast HD cable channels, video games, and food, I prepared for bed while Brandon stayed up all night to watch the house.
Saturday morning, while Brandon left for work, last night's dinner announced its presence, as the strong urge to shit aggressed my lower abdomen, so I headed to her latrine to negotiate business with my bowels and the toilet. With a clear view using the reflection of my booty in the toilet water between my legs, I passed my routine piss for about twenty seconds that hit the water in a hard stream, leaving the toilet water with a very faint yellowish colour, but still mostly clear. Afterwards, I pushed and my bootyhole opened with a bit of airy gas, releasing a long, thick log that quietly fell in the toilet, emitting a strong rotten shitty odour throughout the latrine. If a rotting corpse lied on the latrine floor during my shitty session, it would have resurrected itself and said, "Damn girl, you stank worse than me!" After taking a small breather, I released another slightly gassy log that passed slowly, this one about the same size as the other, which broke off into about three pieces, leaving about four long stanky logs in the toilet. When I felt no more urges, I wiped myself thoroughly. Soon as I finished, I pushed down the handle and suddenly realised that the toilet did not flush whatsoever. I panicked to myself, continuing to hold the knob and press it repeatedly, but still, no luck. I plungered the toilet, but my plungering worked to no avail. Disgusted at the thought of leaving crap in the toilet for the rest of the weekend and realising that I had absolutely no plumbing skills whatsoever, I did what I had no other choice to do, called the townhouse complex's plumber to repair the toilet. Ironically, despite the maintenance taking forever to solve a problem, the plumber was instantly available to repair the toilet. The plumber, who looked to be a 50-something-year-old balding White guy with white hair, gathered a long tool that he called a "snake" before he followed me to Coco's townhouse and went to the latrine.
"Wow." He said sternly with a disgusted expression, looking at the four regular-shaded brown slimy logs that measured about six inches or so, complete with toilet paper smeared in lots of brown and skidmarks against the toilet's interior. "You seriously did a number on this toilet, didn't you?" Considering how a man that regularly repairs toilets stared disgusted at my odorous "artwork" and questioned me about it made me lost for words. "Well," I finally said about a good ten seconds later. "The toilet was broken before I used it. I did not realise the toilet didn't flush until it was too late, so I called you." "I see," he said, nodding his head with the disgusted expression intact. The odour emitted more powerfully as the lid remained open. "Wow. This is so awkward," I said, noticing the odour. "Tell me about it." He replied, with a slight mortifying smirk. "But it happens. Just try not to think about it." Like that was possible. "Well, I'm going to check the back of the toilet first." He opened the top of the toilet and messed with something in there, but no luck. "Crap. Time for plan B," he said with the "snake" in hand. He moved all the toilet paper and crap aside with the snake, placed the snake inside the toilet drain, and cranked the top of the snake. A short while later, he pulled out a big wad of gunk, pressed the flush handle, and the toilet flushed all its contents. "There we go!" He exclaimed. The plumber removed the snake and examined it, which not only contained the big wad of gunk, but also a sizable portion of my shit from the toilet. "Oh boy. I'm going to have to clean this off," he said, showing it to me. I was still speechless. "Well, thanks for fixing the toilet," I said, with my voice cracking. "Anytime," he said. "Well, smell ya later," he said as he rushed out, probably to add insult to injury to my embarrassment regarding the odour. When I sat on the couch, I heard the plumber outside talking to another guy near the window behind me. "Whoa! You got shit on your snake!" "Yeah, some Black girl really crapped her brains out in there. I'm gonna go clean it off." The other guy laughed. God, it was so embarrassing. Nonetheless, maintenance came to fix the locks shortly thereafter and I enjoyed the rest of my time at Coco's house with locked doors until she returned home on 6-3-12. Of course, she conveniently told me that her toilet was retarded when she got home, but I told her it was fine because I fixed it. She thanked me.Zip
Survey Answers
Age:
Gender:
1. How often do you have to shit? At least once a day, except if I have had diarrhea, then sometimes I skip the next day.
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)? Mostly a crumpler
3. Are you an inspector? (An inspector checks the toilet paper after each wipe to examine the faecal content on the sheet to see if further wiping is required). Definitely an inspector.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this). Actually both. First seated, then standing.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper) Yes
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? Almost always, yes.
7. Do you read in the latrine? Sometimes
8. If so, how often do you read? If there is something available I'll read it.
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? Butt on seat, knees out front, sometimes on my toes.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Yes
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? Down to my ankles
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? Of course, yes!
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? Between my legs while seated, but then from behind once I stand up.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way?between my legs, it is back to front, reaching around is front to back,
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? Totally clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? No, I don't avoid them.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around? No, because they would usually want it closed.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? Huh? Nope.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine? Not usually.
Stephen
Mrs. Toilet Trooper Survey
These are my answers to the survey:
1. How often do you have a shit? (Nearly every day, sometimes twice
a day).
2. Are you a folder or a crumpler? (I fold the paper several times. I
(hate to get my fingers dirty).
3. Are you an inspector? Yes).
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (I stand to wipe always).
5. Are you a double dipper? (Yes, often I'm a treble dipper).
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet toilet paper? (Don't understand. At
its just plain paper).
7. Do you read in the latrine? (Yes).
8. If so, how often do you read? (Always, unless any of my mates are
going. Then we chat).
9. How often do you sit when using the toilet? (All the time including
having a pee, I wear
panties. Mums).
10. Do you inspect what you've left before flushing? (Yes).
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? (To my ankles).
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush until
its all gone? (Yes).
13. To wipe, do you reach between your legs, or do you reach your
hand around your backside? (I reach around).
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back
to front, or some other way? (From back to front).
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until
most of its gone? (Totally clean).
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other
people are there? (I like others to be there).
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when some-
body else is around? (I don't mind).
18, Do you drop paper into the toilet before going? (No).
19. Do you use air freshener after? (No).mark
Post Title (optional)Afro reply
dear afro u say u dont poo in school as u find it uncomfortable. but why? it all perfectly normal we all do it dont be embarrised or inhibited about it. just pull down your pants sit on toilet and let it come out. dont strain or push as its bad for you. just let your it slide out from your bum hole. same with a piss just let it come. so wot if someone hears. just say well you do it to if they remark. hope this helps bi M
Just a guy
Hanna - thanks for the reply. I'm surprised your co-worker is so open to share that info. It sounded like you had 2 terrific dumps on your day off. It must have been such a great relief to get rid of.
Just a girl - I feel bad for you. I hope your bowels return to normal for you.
Desperate to poop - 2 great stories. Really enjoyed the post about the cruise dump.brian
good morning?
Woke up today to a horrible odor in my bedroom. It smelled like complete shit. I sat up and looked around. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I went to wake up my fiance and discovered the smell to be worse when i was near her..."it couldn't be..." i thought. I lifted the blanket and was shocked....her purple panties were bulging out with a wet brown stain on the seat, and there were skid marks on the sheets and backs of her legs. She'd had a major poop-splosion in her underwear while sleeping...i was at a total loss for what to do. I wound up just putting the blanket back over her and getting ready and going to work. When i got home she was working on a report and seemed fine. She never mentioned waking up to find she'd completely messed the bed, but throughout the evening i can tell she's acting a bit funny, like she's curious about whether or not i noticed. Like she's torn between wanting to know if i know so she can explain herself, or if she'd prefer to think i didn't know so she can keep it a secret.Simply~Angie
The Sneeze and Pee
Well, hello you guys, im 13 and have been a lurker of the site, i just wanted to tell you whats going on: Well, my sisters cat, Raider, is sick so i comforted him, and after getting the cats i learned that im allergic and i havent taken my morning pee so as he fell asleep on my lap i went into sneezing frendzy and started sqriting pee, since sneezing (and peeing) hopefully I will post more, well see ya!! :)whizzer
mrs toilet trouper survey
1. how often do you have to shit. once a day
2. are you a folder, yes
3. are you an inspector. yes is check paper to see if its clean
4. are yu a stander or sitter. sitter
5.are you a double dipper. no
6. do you use moist wipes or wet your tp. n
7. d you read in the latrine no
8 na
9. do you sit when using the toilet Yes
10. do you inspect he bowl before flushing yes
11. how far do you pull down your pants/underwear, to my knees
12. if you flush but there is still some left do you flush until its all gone, yes
13. to wipe do you reach your hand between your legs, or around your backside, around my buttt.
14. once you start wiping, how do you wipe, from front to back.
15. do you wipe undil you are totally clean, yes
16. do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when pople are there. no
17. at hove do you ususlly shit withe the door open when noboddy is around no
18. do you drop a few squars in bowl before you start NO
19 do you use air freshener no
mikes survey
do you usually flush, yes
how often do you forget to flush never
do you pee/poop in shower with water running, pee only
do you close stall doors in public yes
do you have troble with zippers buttons no
Keeping little boys out of girls' bathrooms
I'm for keeping little boys out of girls' bathrooms even if they are with their mother. Last weekend I was at a big state park swimming pool with my best friend from school Ellison. Both Ellison and I are going to be sophomores in high school this fall. We entered the bathroom building which included dressing rooms and showers on one side and a regular bathroom on the other side. There were 3 toilets, each was separated by a metal divider which had some gross grifitti on it and there was a funny looking toilet stool with a big black seat almost twice as big as the toilet and there was a flush chain hanging from the ceiling. The door had been taken off each stall and there was this girl a couple of years older than Ellison and me who was standing over the middle toilet and trying to pee into it. I took one end toilet and Ellison took the other. She took the bottom of her swim suit down and seated herself with a thud. Then there was a tremendous blast of gas and I heard her crap drop into the bowl. I heard her sigh of relief as she emptied herself. The girl next to us finished and went running off when somebody with a loud voice called from for her from the doorway of the restroom. I sat with my head in my hands when I heard Ellison scream a little and say "Get out of here! Before I could call out to her, a boy about 6 or 7 with yellow trunks who was holding his crotch slowly walked by my stall, stopped and looked in on me. Then he looked directly at me and he started to snicker. Then he went into the middle stall, I saw his swim suit drop to the floor and there was urine splashing all over the staff, so much that I heard Ellison yell out at him that he had to stop because he was splashing onto her stool as she sat. She said he was splashing on her leg. At that point he stumbled by my stall as he fumbled with his swimming trunks to get his penis tucked back in. He took a long look at me while I sat and he didn't seem to think he was doing anything wrong. I told him to get out of there and that we needed our privacy. Finally, I heard a woman call out "TJ" and he started calling to her. Both Ellison and myself feel the boy should have never been in the bathroom because he's too old. Also we don't think he should be watching us while we are on the toilet. We feel it would have been better for him to have stayed with his mother or babysitter outside. TJ definitely should not have been allowed in our bathroom.Brandon T
coments & stuff
To: karen as always another great post it sounds like that was a great dump and I bet you feel great and lighter to and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: First Timer first welcome to the site and great story it sounds like you may have good stories to tell please post them if you do thanks.
To: Hanna as always another great set of stories your morning dump sounded pretty nasty and it sounds like you were pretty desperate to and great story about your poop at the gym it sounds like you really had to go alot and lucky the toilet behaved and didnt overflow and I bet you felt pretty good after both and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Just A Girl as always another great set of stories it sounds like your first dump was pretty nasty and desperate to I bet you were glad you were at home when it happened and your second story it sounds like that enema really did the trick and im gald your stomach is feeling better to and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: PN as always another great story it sounds like you had a good poop before your shower and then a good while in it and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Nikki thats great your feeling better and I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Desperate To Poop as always another great set of poop stories your first one sounds like you had a pretty good poop and got a show as well I bet that one lady must have been very desperate and great story about your desperate poop on that cruise ship it sounds like were just miliseconds form having an accident and it was lucky that constipated lady finished when she did and also good her toilet didnt clog and that diarrhea lady sounds like she was very desperate to and it sounds like your poop probaly felt like heaven after waiting that long and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Stephen great story about you seeing your mom and her friend pooping outside it sounds Laura really had to poop and I bet that memory will be with you forever and please share anymore like that if they happen thanks.
To: Valerie great story about your desperate poop at church it sounds like you really had to go as your panties would show and I bet you felt pretty great afterwards and I look forward to your next post thanks.
Daily Dump about 2 hours ago I had another poop at that bookstore an again I went in just as a woman was coming out she pooped I think im not sure there was nothing left in the bowl but she was in there about 5 minutes and did flush the toilet twice and there was no smell but at least the seat was nice and warm and my poop was just one medium log and it kinda stunk and was light brown in color.
Well thats all for now.
Sincerly Brandon T
PS. I love this site
I <3 POOPING
Answers to Mrs. Toilet Troopers' Survey
Hi everyone :-) I'm back! I haven't been doing too good hence my absence from here (depression issues) but I feel a whole lot better now that's why I'm coming back on here. I like Mrs Toilet Troopers Survey so I decided to use this as my re-introduction back on this wonderful site.
Age: 34
Gender: Male
1. How often do you have to shit? Twice a day
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)? I'm definitely a crumpler.
3. Are you an inspector? (An inspector checks the toilet paper after each wipe to examine the faecal content on the sheet to see if further wiping is required). Yes I am, furthermore I think it's important to do so to see it is normal and nothing untoward is up.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this). I'm a sitter and always have been.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper). Depends how much poo is on the paper after my first wipe.
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? I use both.
7. Do you read in the latrine? Yes, but only when I know I've got to do a huge poo which I know I will have to really take my time to do.
8. If so, how often do you read? Depends really, see previous answer.
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? I sit forward, arms pressed to my belly and legs spread a bit.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Yes always.
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? Not far down really, only as far as my thighs I'd say.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? Yep, sometimes if I take a really huge poo it can take up to 3 flushes until it's all gone.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? I reach my hand around my bum, it's easier that way.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? Front to back definitely.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? I wipe until my bum is totally clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? Nope, I don't care what other people do, I just worry about what I've gotta do and I concentrate on having a poo and I don't care if I fart loudly, plop loudly, grunt and have a smelly poo. In fact I have had a poo in a lot of public loos that I love to just sit there and unleash whatever is up my bum.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around? No, NEVER, I'm someone who takes as much time as I need on the loo and most importantly I want my total and utter privacy plus I don't want to unleash my hugely, smelly dumps on anyone. I am noisy when I have a poo.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper per in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? No, I've never done that.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine? Yep, I have to. I do drop poos which do smell strong.
Thank you, this was a great survey. Enjoyed answering it.
More from me very soon xxx
Mr. Clogs
Replies and Mike's survey
Karen: Thank you for your reply and sharing your Big Meal Dump results! All them turnip greens and black eyed peas will make some large turds and a lot of gas! I know us city folks can't eat like that all the time because we're not active as country folks. Now I know why they call it Soul Food for a reason. You have to reward yourself once in a while. I only eat like that during holidays or visit family in PA. I'll keep you posted if anything comes up. By the way, I like all posts. Very interesting.
Nikki: Thanks Nikki for your comment, wow those burgers and ice cream did your bowels in. Glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better. If you have anymore stories, please share. Thanks.
Mike's Survey:
1. Do you usually flush after pee/shit? Sometimes I flush when I pee, and shit yes of course!
2. How often do you forget to flush after shit? Rarely.
3. Do you pee/poop in shower with water running? If I have to poop while taking a shower yes to muffle the sound. Pee, I just pee freely.
4. Do you close the stall doors when using toilet to shit/pee in public? Yes I like my privacy. Yes even in public restrooms.
5. Do you have trouble with your zipper or buttons? No unless the zipper is broken.
Well I got to go use the toilet and take a big dump. I had salad for dinner. Catch ya'll later.
Mr. Clogs
Karen
Survey Reply
Hi Mrs. Toilet Trooper; my answers might be boring, but here goes:
Survey
Age: I was born one year before the Korean War started, you do the math. Been told I'm still attractive though, on one of my good days. Most people think I'm younger than my real age.
Gender: I'm a woman, though some have said I look like Ozzy Osborne the morning after I've had a rough night.
1. How often do you have to shit? Daily
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)?
Folder. Always.
3. Are you an inspector? (An inspector checks the toilet paper after each wipe to examine the faecal content on the sheet to see if further wiping is required).
Only if I feel the BM is especially worthy of looking at. For the every day run of the mill BM I usually don't bother.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this).
Sitter.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper).
Nope.
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper?
I wipe three or four times with dry TP, then a couple more times with TP with a dollop of Jergen's lotion on it and really dig in, then a couple more times with TP sprayed with Lysol. I repeat the process until the TP comes clean. On my last wipe I go over my entire bum with TP sprayed with Lysol. I'm a germaphobe and always have been. I try to time my morning routine so that I do my BM constitutional before my shower.
7. Do you read in the latrine?
I'm not a "bathroom bookworm", I don't make it a point to read while sitting on the pot, but if I happen to be in the middle of something interesting in the morning paper when the urge hits me then I might take that into the bathroom with me.
8. If so, how often do you read?
I might do this once a week, on average.
9. How do you sit when using the toilet?
Just as I would sit on any other chair or stool.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing?
Only if it feels as if it has been an extraordinary dump.
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear?
About to my knees.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone?
Sometimes there is, sometimes not. If there is, then I flush until the water runs clean.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside?
Pee, frontside. Poo, backside.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way?
Pee, back to front. Poo, front to back, infections are no fun, an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone?
Until the paper comes totally clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there?
Yes, I try to avoid it. Unless I'm sick and can't hold it, then of course if i'm sick I could care less about embarrassment, an upset stomach wins over shame any day.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around?
Now that I'm divorced and both of my sons have married and gone, I don't bother with the door. My dogs often come in and out and keep me company though, and they get upset if the door is closed and they can't come in, I keep it open lest they whine and scratch on the door.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass?
Can't say that I have.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine?
Yep. Have some Lysol and Glade plus an Airwick in there. I've used the matches before also.
Thanks,
You're Welcome. Karen
Dug
Guys im new around hear but i have a story. Today I was in town when My stomch told me i needed a crap. I was with my mum so I said i would look at some things. She said we shold split up i agreed, I headed for the nearest public toilet and entered the gents. The desighn of this toilet block is funny. Becouse there is the main laidies room downstairs and the mens upstairt but right befor the entrance to the mens there is a door with the female sign on it. It looks like its a room that does not have any stalls in it just a toiletsink and baby change not forgeting a lock. Anyway back to the story I entered the gents room and there was 5 stalls then 90degrees to them was 5 urinals this was the first gents room with equal stalls and urinals in it. I enteded the middle stall put my old bag on the hook and sat down after inspecting the seat for urine of feces wich luckily i found none of and there was a no pube bonus as well. I pushed a little and a few small pieces came and made a plop sound as they hit he water then i pushed again and a large piece came out and broke off. then i pushed a final time and the rest of the log came out. Then i wiped and then pushed the flush button and nothing happened only a small dirbble of water came out.the flush was a wall intergrated one that must have been jammed or broken as the toilets were quite old . I exeted without flushing and at the same time a man wering a council top walked in i didnt stay around long enough to see if he was a cleaner or not. .... I had the thought of what insted of male and female toilets they had unisex rooms for diferent ages. E.g they might have a room for 2-15 year olds and a toilet for 16-26year olds then one for 26-56 and then one for 50+. This would mean cleaner toilets for ages apart from16-26 becouse those are the most licley age of vandals . Also it would people could charge adults to go but not 0-15 year olds to go. This would mean less. Children were. Safe to go to the toilet on thair own without running into a pedo peope doing drugs or drunks. That would mean children were less ill becose they might catch a diseese from the toilet seat. Esepshally girls becouse women do the stupid hovering thing with the seat down. I would say this is only exeptable with the seat up and a non urine bodliy produce on the seat.Jas
To Afro,And everyone else.
Today on the 9 of June.I put the date on this cause it would take a few days for it to be posted.
Well anyway I got off of work at 2pm.Me and my family has gotten take out.We was at my Mom's eating and after I ate she wanted me to eat those bannanas before they rotted.I ate two of them.Then me and my Brother went across town we stoped in one store and my gut was cramping.They didn't have a public bathroom in there.I didn't say nothing that I had to find a toilet.Then my brother wanted to stop at a little shoping center.I gone in a clothing store and went in the mens room,I got in the stall and sat down.And I let out a fart then it came out all at once,ended with a loud PLUCK.
Porta Potty at the Contruction Site
I volunteered for a home build through a well-known organization that helps people who otherwise could not get a home become homeowners. They organization did a week-long quick build, taking the house from the foundation to near completion in 10 days. Volunteers from all over the country came to help. A great organization. Anyway, one morning about 8:30, I got the urge to take a dump. They had two porta-potties located across the street standing next to each other. I had become friendly with a woman who was in her early 40's (my age) and she was very outgoing and quite attractive. She wore tight shorts each day and gave the men a nice view from behind. We were working together inside the house when my urge came on. I was a bit embarrassed, but told her, "Sorry, but I'm going to have to have a short break." She said, "Oh, OK, I need one, too." I kind of froze knowing the two porta-potties being right next to each other, she would hear me if she went in beside me. But on the other hand, I would probably hear her at least pee, which was exciting. We went outside and I walked toward the porta-potties. She didn't go to the refreshment tent, but walked right with me to the toilets, carrying on a conversation the whole way. We arrived at the toilets and she was still telling me the story. I reached for the door of one and she opened the other and we both stepped inside. She was still talking to me, knowing how well sound traveled through the vent screens at the top. In fact, I glanced toward her unit and could see the top of her hair through the vent screen from my unit. They had just serviced the toilets so they were filled with fresh chemical water. I pulled down my pants and sat down. I could hear her jostling around like she was doing the same. She was still telling me about a skiing trip she took with friends. She finished a sentence with a slight strain in her voice then got quiet. I heard a very loud and heavy plop and she whispered "Whew." I thought, man, this hot lady is openly taking a crap right next to me. I was hesitant to go but need to so I slightly pushed and a quick BAARRP fart slipped out. She laughed and said, "Hello!" I was pretty embarrassed but said, "Excuse me." She said, "Don't worry about it. I'm pooping so you'll probably hear me before I'm done." I kind of relaxed and pushed out my dump. It was smooth but very noisily plopping into the water. I paused and in a few seconds I heard her start plopping profusely, like her bowel movement was getting loose. This went on for several seconds then she let out "SPLUTTTT" sounding fart. She said, "Uh oh, see there?" then laughed. I had to go some more and was quiet except for the several plops. She proceeded to do another quick buzzing fart, said "Whoops!" then dropped more mushing sounding poop. I started to pee and in a moment she did too, which sounded like a waterfall going next door. As discretely as possible, I pulled off toilet paper. She just yanked the roll of paper, tore it off noisily and began wiping. I heard her pull paper off at least 5 times. I stood up and buckled my pants and I heard her getting up as well. She said, "I'm done, I'll walk back with you." I said, "OK." I went out and used some hand sanitizer and she came out just a few seconds later and did the same. She said, "Boy, I had to go this morning." I couldn't believe how open this hot woman was about her bowel movement. She didn't seem a bit embarrassed to make noise when she knew I could hear, or to carry on a conversation from the toilet. But after it was over, I was extremely excited about this experience. We became pretty close friends and still stay in touch. I hope to see her again!Abbie
Using the loo at school
Hi, Abbie here again with another story for you all, this ones from last Friday at school. That morning I woke up late so didn't get time to catch the early bus, as I said before I've got into a better routine which is to get to school early giving me time to go for a poo before lessons start if I need to. The loos near the canteen are the only ones open at that time but they're still pretty busy, judging by the farts and plops that can be heard alot of girls choose to have a poo before school so they aren't uncomfortable in class. By the time I got to school on Friday there was only five minutes to go before the bell, I was already starting to want a poo quite badly but knew I would have to hold it until lunchtime which wasn't going to be easy. Morning break is useless, by the time you've been let out of lessons and queued for a toilet you would probably have about 5 minutes left, given that I need at least 10 minutes for a poo all I can do is have a wee and keep my poo in until lunch. Most days if I'm on the toilet having a wee at break I can hear other girls pooing and I feel jealous especially if I need a poo as well, even if I'm not constipated I always produce big loads which require some straining to pass and so its not something I've ever been able do quickly. Anyway, by breaktime I was really bursting for both a poo and a wee, I decided not to try to go for a wee as I was worried my poo would end up coming out too and then I'd be late for my next lesson, so I just clenched my bum and held it through the next hour. By the time lunch break came I knew I didn't have long left, as I walked towards the nearest loos I was having to squeeze my bum to stop my poo from poking out into my pants and was finding it hard to walk normally. I prayed that there wouldn't be a queue but no such luck, a few classes of Year 8s and 9s had just been let out and so all the cubicles were taken and there were five girls waiting. I joined the queue and bit my bottom lip, my bladder was just about to burst and despite my efforts my poo was starting to push its way through my clenched bum. Typically the queue moved really slowly, it was clear that I was far from being the only one who needed a poo as there were plenty of farts and plops and also some straining noises coming from the cubicles. The two girls in front of me were looking pretty desperate as well, one of them had her hand on her bum and whispered to her friend "This queue had better move soon, I really need a poo" and her friend said "Yeah, I'm bursting too, I didn't get chance to go at break so I've been holding it for hours now!" Eventually I was at the front of the queue, by now I could feel my poo was touching my pants and I also let a spurt of wee go. It was quite a big spurt and I could feel it leaking out of my pants and starting to roll down my thighs, I wasn't wearing tights as it was quite a warm day so I just prayed I would get a cubicle soon. Luckily just at that moment there was a free cubicle between the two friends who'd been chatting earlier, I quickly locked the door, lifted my skirt and tugged down my pink flowery pants, there was a big wet patch and I also noticed a sizeable skidmark. I sat on the loo and felt my poo slide slowly out, and I started to wee which made a loud hissing sound. I looked to my left and just saw my neighbours shoes but to my right the girls skirt and white pants were round her ankles, I could see she wasn't exagerating about how desperate she was as she had a big poo stain in her pants. Soon after I heard her making some plops followed by a sigh of releaf, to my left her friend had weed but stayed sitting so I guessed she wanted a poo as well. Just then I heard some heavy breathing and slight grunts so she was obviously having to strain a bit. My poo was starting to slow down so I took a deep breath and pushed, luckily that kept it going even though it was starting to get hard and knobbly and was really stretching my bumhole. The girl on my left was still straining, I heard her grunting a bit louder and then she farted a few times. On my right the girl was wiping, I suddenly saw her pants and skirt disappear and then she flushed. As she came out of her cubicle I saw her walk across the front of mine and stand in front of her friends cubicle, she said "I'll see you outside by the music block when you're done" and her friend replied "I won't be long" in a strained voice. Shortly after I could feel my poo speeding up and it made a loud plop as it fell, straight away I felt my next log move into position and start forcing my bumhole open. Just then I heard the door of the cubicle on my right being locked, as I looked under the partition the girls skirt dropping to her feet followed by a pair of purple and blue striped knickers. I heard a jet of wee fizzing into the bowl just as the girl to my left made a loud grunt and then panted as her poo plopped loudly into the bowl. Shortly after my own poo dropped with a splash and water splashed up onto my bum, I hate it when that happens! I felt like I was done so I ripped off some loo roll and started to wipe my bottom, I could hear the girl on my left doing the same. On my right my new neighbour had just needed a wee as she quickly wiped and flushed. I threw the last bit of paper into the bowl and pulled up my pants before flushing, I looked into the bowl and saw two huge logs but luckily the flush did the trick and it all went away. I came out of my cubicle at the same time as my neighbour, she looked rather embarased to say the least and avoided my gaze as we washed our hands. I went out of the loos and looked at my watch, I had been on the toilet for about 15 minutes! I got through the rest of the afternoon without needing the loo again and after school had finished I met up with Ellie and Beth as I had arranged to go round their house for tea. As usual on the walk home they were both complaining they were desperate for the toilet and hadn't had chance to go at break or lunch, I was starting to need a wee again and rather wished I'd had some clean pants I could have put on, I was embarased that they'd probably end up seeing my skidmark from earlier when we shared their ensuite loo. Ellie seemed to be most desperate, as she unlocked the front door she was holding her bum with the other hand and said "I'm bursting for a poo, I've been holding it all afternoon." As we walked up the stairs she started to unzip her skirt and took it off as soon as we got into the bedroom. She was wearing a tight pair of pale green pants which were wedged up her bum, so I thought there was a chance that she would have skidmarks too. Leaving the bathroom door open she quickly dropped her pants to her knees and sat on the loo, they got turned inside out and I saw a noticeable poo stain which made me feel a bit better. By now Beth had taken her skirt off as well and was standing waiting in her white bra and yellow flowery knickers, she said "I hope you're not going to be long, I'm just about to wet my knickers" and with that Ellie gasped as her poo plopped loudly into the water. "Nearly done" she said as she took a deep breath and pushed again. Beth was openly holding herself and jiggling up and down. Just then I heard another plop and then Ellie said "Right, I'm done." She stood up and moved over, Beth had already got her knickers down and so she sat down hurriedly and I heard a strong wee stream start up and then she moaned with releaf. After her wee was finished she stayed sitting so I guessed she needed a poo as well, which was confirmed a few seconds later by some loud farts. Ellie was just finishing wiping her bottom, she giggled and said "Eww, stinky!" and Beth replied "Well at least I don't have pooey knickers!" Ellie poked her tongue out at her as she took her pants off and went over to her drawer, she rummaged around before turning to Beth and saying "Beth, can I borrow some of your knickers? All mine are in the wash."
"Yeah, just try not to get poo on them" replied Beth in a strained voice, I could see she was having to push quite hard. Ellie walked over to the other side of the room and opened Beth's drawer. "Oh great, you haven't got any either" she said. Just then I heard a loud plop and Beth panting, once she'd caught her breath she said "Look in the next drawer down at the back, I've got some spare ones there in case I run out." Ellie pulled out some pink pants and pulled them on, they were too small for her but at least they were clean. I looked back into the bathroom and saw Beth wiping her bottom, she then pulled up her pants and flushed.
"My turn now" I said, lifting my skirt and dropping my pants, I didn't pull them down far as I didn't want anyone to see my skidmark. I had a wee, wiped and then flushed. I stayed round Ellie and Beth's for a few hours but none of us needed to use the loo again!
Hope you liked this story, will try to post again soon. Bye for now!!
Saturday, June 09, 2012
Karen
Big Meal Dump Results as promised
Hi Brandon and everyone, well it took me a while but here's how it went. Basically, one big fat log and a loglet for a grand finale, the larger of the two looked fatter than my wrist and about as long as my forearm. Got the urge in the middle of my first cup of coffee. Boy, it sure felt good to release that. You'd think it would have hurt but it didn't; it actually felt kind of enjoyable just before it came out, and it just slid right out. I felt pretty cleaned out too, for a solid dump. Would've made a polaroid suitable for framing. Might've had to use the plunger if I'd tried to flush the paper along with it but it went down without a problem. My only regret is that I did not weigh myself before the dump and afterward. Getting dressed I noticed my pants felt looser in the waist, the same pants I wore the day before. One notable feature is the little white dots in the logs, at first I was somewhat alarmed until I realized it was just the okra seeds. Oh, and after I flushed I had to flush again due to the green leaves which had to be remnants of the turnip greens.
To Mr. Clogs: Thanks, and I'll be sure and watch the cholesterol intake! That kind of rich southern food might be fine for hardworking farmers who can burn off the cholesterol and drink moonshine whisky to cut the grease, but we city folk need to be more careful for sure. Still gotta have my special occasional burger meal or nice dinner though. I take garlic capsules, too. Normally I keep it low fat high fiber, but you gotta treat yourself every now and again you know, good stuff. Be sure to post your results, sounds like you had a pretty good feast yourself!
Misty ( not real name )
marie welcome and it sounds like u might have some interesting stories to post on the future i cant wait to read them ^_^.
first timer
I have been a lurker on this site for a long time. Thanks to this site I feel "normal" I used to have to pretend that I didn't care about my wife's BMs. One night after a few shots of our favorite drink I was able to show this site to my wife. Much to my surprise she was a bit turned on not grossed out by what I thought was an "odd" attraction. She followed up by asking me if I would like to see her have a BM. I was shocked to say the least. I always worried if she knew she would think I was sick or twisted. It turned out to be a win win for us. She doesn't mind company in the bathroom and I couldn't be happier....Thank you for this site......The lesson here is be honest if he or she loves you it will work......Thanks again now I can "lurk" openly. I never would have believed it! I hope this help others as it has meHanna
To "Just a Guy":
I doubt any of my coworkers noticed anything. I work as a loan officer so I work out an office at the back of the bank. I'd be amazed if my farts were loud or smelly enough to be noticed in the next room over. On a related note, one of my coworkers said she carries around a small perfume bottle in her purse and sprays some after she farts. She also said that it gets used a lot after lunch.
I had today off of work and I slept in. I woke up but stayed in bed, cutting a few loud farts. I was going to go get the coffee started, but I got a really strong urge to move my bowels. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. Loose, smelly turds began to fall from my bottom. I grabbed my magazine to read. I had passed ten to twelve turds when I had to flush just because the smell was so awful. There were a few more turds then I was done. I knew there was more turds in me, but none were going to come out then, so I wiped and flushed again.
I had my coffee and breakfast and made a list of things I needed to do. I started by going to the grocery store and then went to the gym. After my workout, I needed a bowel movement. In the locker room there are three toilets and they were all taken. I could hear lots of farts and plops from one girl. Hearing her go only made my need worse and thankfully the girl in the middle stall was just peeing. She came out and I went in, closed the door and pulled down my gym clothes and sat down.
A thick turd came out. It wasn't very long and broke off with a heavy splash. I farted quietly before passing a softer short turd. Another hard turd emerged from my anus. It was a long one. The next turd was creamy and even longer. I flushed the toilet while letting out a slimy rope-like turd. It curled into the bowl. I leaned forward while pushing on my stomach to help it come out. As soon as it had stopped, another one took its place. It was shorter though. I blasted out two loud farts that echoed around in the toilet bowl. I pushed out three smaller soft turds. There was one more firm turd that worked its way out, then I wiped myself five times. I flushed the toilet and watched as the water rose nearly to the rim. I hoped it wasn't going to overflow, and mercifully, the water went back down as my turds were flushed away.
Car Mom Reader
To Car Mom
This is for Car Mom, and anyone else with similar posts, including Lauren. Lauren, you need to post more, by the way. Anyway, I'm a fan of this website, and I like your posts, Car Mom, because you always let your daughter pee in your car. I also decided to try letting my daughter pee in our car. I'm not sure how it will go, but I decided to let her try it. I'm not sure if I will eventually do it too, for now I'm just going to let her do it one time and see how it turns out. This is something I've never tried before, so I'm not sure what will happen, or if it will make too much of a mess. I was hoping, Car Mom, that you could give me some advise. My daughter is 7 1/2, and she has peed a few times in different places, and has liked doing it. I want to let her do this too, but I need to know how much of a mess its going to make, and how it will be to clean up if I need to. My car has cloth seats. They are tan, so her pee will probably be noticeable. I'm thinking I'll let her pee in the backseat. Also, I don't want to put anything on the seat to protect it, like a cover or towel or anything, I just want to let her pee freely into the seat. I don't mind if it soaks into the cushion, I would actually encourage that. Also, I don't have a problem with the smell, I've always found the smell of her pee comforting, ever since she was in diapers. Anyway, if Car Mom or anyone else has any advise, please let me know. Thanks so much! :)
Mike
Mrs. Toliet Trooper Suvey
Age: 52
Gender: Male
1. How often do you have to shit? 2 or more times a day.
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toil;et parper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toliet paper? I am a Crumpler.
3. Are you an inspector? No but sometimes i do.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? I am a stander/sitter. I do both..
5. Are you a double-dipper? Yes
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toliet paper? I use either.
7. Do you read on the latrine? Yes i do.
8. If so how often do you read? Evryday.
9. How do you sit when using toilet? Legs out front buttt towards the rear?
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Most of the time.
11. How far do you pull your pants/underwear? To my anlkes at home / to my knees in public restroom.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until most of it gone? I always double flush
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? I sometimes do both.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? I usually wipe back to front.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totaly clean, or just just until most of it is gone? I usually try to make my self totally clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? No.
17. At home do you usually with the latrine door open when somebody is around? I usually keep it closed.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? No.
19. Do you use air freshner (or light a match) after you go to the latrine? No.
Now here's my survey for gals and guys.
1. Do you usually flush after pee/shit?
2. How often do you forget to flush after shit?
3. Do you pee/poop in shower with water running?
4. Do you close the stall doors when using toilet to shit/pee in public?
5. Do you have trouble with your zipper or buttons?
Little Mandi
Survey
Haven't posted in a long time. Nothing good to post. Everything has been normal. Here are my answers to Mrs.toilet trooper's survey.
Age: 20
Gender: Female
1. How often do you have to shit?
I don't go very often. I go maybe once a week.
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)?
I'm a crumpler.
3. Are you an inspector? (An inspector checks the toilet paper after each wipe to examine the faecal content on the sheet to see if further wiping is required).
Yes I inspect after each wipe.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this).
I wipe while sitting.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper)
Sometimes I do. Not very often though.
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper?
Occasionally I'll wet the toilet paper if its too messy.
7. Do you read in the latrine?
No
8. If so, how often do you read?
Never
9. How do you sit when using the toilet?
I sit regular with my arms in my lap. Sometimes I'll hold the wall in front of my while pooping.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing?
Yes.
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear?
Usually to my knees.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone?
Yes
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside?
I do both.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way?
Usually back to front.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone?
I wipe till I'm completely clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there?
Yes I'm a very shy pooper.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around?
No.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass?
No.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine?
Always.