Michael W.
Exploding on the toilet
Hi everyone I'm back to share another story. I am on the toilet using my laptop while I'm writing this and I'm taking a shit. When I was 20 years old I got my first MP3 Player for Christmas. It was equivalent to an iPod. It was ocean blue which is my favorite color. At the time having an MP3 Player was a big deal for me bcz before that I would listen to music on my portable CD Player with headphones and had a booklet of my CDs inside of it and I also listened to music on my Boom Box with a CD Player and tape player. My first MP3 player had a voice recorder. I no longer have my first MP3 Player, I lost it sometime ago. One day back in March of 2009, I had just finished doing my homework for Night School and I was waiting for my friends to get home from school. I couldn't get on the computer to do anything bcz my dad was using it to do his unemployment and he was also looking for a job. He just got laid off from his previous job bcz the economy was bad. Anyways, I was bored and decided to record my own skit. It is titled "Exploding on the toilet." I was making fart noises with my lips, my mouth up against my hand, my mouth up against under my elbow, etc. Here's how it goes:
Hrrrrrrtttt!
PFFFFFFFRRRRRRTTTTTTT!
Ugh! Oh my god! HRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!
PFFFFFFFRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!
Oh my god I don't remember eating that! I had a burrito for lunch and…Oh my god…Oh god…
BBRRRAAAARRRRRPPPPPP!
Ugh Oh my god! I need to see a doctor about this. Okay I can go back to reading my newspaper…Ugh!
BBBRRRRAAAAARRRRRRRPPPPPPP!
PFFFRRRTTT! PFFFRRRRTTTT! PFFFFRRRRTTT! PFFFRRRRRTTTTTT!
PFFFFRRRRTTTTT! PFFFRRRRRTTT! PFFFFRRRTTTT! PFFFFRRRTTT! PFFFRRRRTTT! PFFFRRRRRTTTT! PFFFRRRRTTTT! PFFFFRRRRTTT! PFFFFRRRRRTTT! PFFFFFRRRRRTTT! PFFFFFRRRRTTT! PFFFRRRRTTTT! PFFFFRRRRTTTT! PFFFFRRRRTTT! PFFFFRRRRTTT! PFFFFRRRRRTTT! PFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT!
Ugh! Oh I think I got one more coming out. HHHHRRRRRRTTTTTTT!!!
Oh god!
Pfffrrrttt!
BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! SPLOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!
(Somebody walks in and says)
Oh my god! This guy just exploded on the crapper! I mean whatever he ate I'd like to avoid it! OH MY GOD IT SMELLS IN HERE!!! I CAN SEE HIS BRAIN ON THE CEILING! I CAN SEE HIS GUTS ALL OVER THE WALLS!!! AND OH GOD I'M GONNA BE SICK!!!!
(He vomits)
BLLLEEEAAAACCCHHH!! UCKKKK!!!! UGGHHHUUUUHUUUHEACCKKKK!!!
(The End)
When I finished recording I listened to it and I laughed my ass. My dad was done with the computer so I went on it and titled my skit. Then I went over to my friend's house and played it. My friend John thought it was funny. My ex-girlfriend Carrie said "It's disturbing but it's funny." Her sisters Jessica, Shy Ann, and Selena and two foster kids listened to my skit. They all laughed and thought it was funny. And that's it for now. I just finished taking a shit. I had been on the toilet for 28 minutes. I'll share another story later, until then Happy Pooping Everyone.Me and my family were at a indoor water park for the day and were having lots of fun. My little brother told me he needed to go peepee so I took him to the bathroom. The bathroom was very crowded and every stall was taken and there was a line almost out the door. I took his swim trunks off and put them over my shoulder. I picked him up and held him over a urinal and encouraged him to let loose. He got pee shy I guess because it took him a while to get started. Meanwhile I really had to pee AND poop and was holding it in so much. I thought my brother would pee quickly but with my luck he didn't. I looked down occasionally just to see if he was peeing, but nothing. Finally I saw that he began to pee and I told him he was doing a good job and how our parents would be proud of him for making it and not doing it in his shorts. His pee stream lasted a while! He really did have to go. Meanwhile I was farting and trying to hold in everything. I watched and waited for his stream to end, and I told him to shake his weenie so he wouldn't drip pee. He did and I put him back down, and put his shorts back on.
My plan was to take him back to my parents after he did his business but by the time he was done I just couldn't wait any longer. I couldn't just leave him out alone so I took him into the stall with me, which opened up just then. Thank goodness it did. I dashed into the stall and brought him in with me.
I pulled down my shorts and started peeing and it felt amazing to let it all out because I really had to go too. Then I started pushing for the poop to come and my brother starts asking a million questions like "is the poopy coming out yet?" and "are you pushing?" and "why are you taking so long?" and stuff like that. I tried to be as quick as I could because it was so awkward. I wiped once I was done and washed my hands. We went back to our parents after that and the day went on as usual but I just wanted to share thatKathleen
Hi again. I'm back with a short story from a few days ago. That afternoon, the girls had gone swimming and when they came back the first thing I heard when they opened the door was Lynne saying "I have to go to the bathroom so bad!" and Julie replied "Yeah, me too." as they immediately headed off to the bathroom. I heard a few wet sounding farts as they walked by.
I guess Julie went first and I heard her pee loudly then wipe and flush before saying "All yours." I didn't hear much more while Lynne was going, except for one really loud booming, echoing fart during the middle and then her giggling. She only spent about 10 minutes pooping which is kind of unusually fast for her. I guess it must have been because she was so desperate to go.
Anyway, that's all for now.End Stall Em
My nanny trip to the state fair
With school starting up again for both me and the two kids, my summer nanny assignment is ending. So yesterday I took Carly, who is 5, and her 4-year-old brother Alastair to our state's fair. Its in a city about 90 minutes away. My car is not in good enough shape so I borrowed a pick-up from my boyfriend Spencer's business. Me and two kids and the limitations of the front seat wasn't a good idea. Also they woke up early and Alastair talked me into leaving an hour earlier than planned. He's so hyper and I gave in. Problem: I had taken a laxative before bed and it hadn't worked yet. That changed when we got on the highway about 25 minutes into the trip. Of course, once I pulled off the highway at a rest area, Alastair automatically had an emergency too.
So we hurried up the sidewalk to the bathroom building. Holding hands for what Spencer calls a "dump." It doesn't surprise me much anymore, but here were 6 toilet stalls, all without privacy doors. None were in use. I went into the far end stall. The seat was down and I pulled my jeans and thong down and took my seat while Alastair and Carly stood directly infront of me, backs to me, in what we call the privacy guard. Alastair started to turn and look back as my first pieces hit the water, but Carly yanked at his head. My dump, the cleanout I needed, was over in less than a minute. Great for me because the seat seemed awkward and was a bit loose. It got me momentarily wondering if anyone has ever fallen into their own shit. I grabbed at the toilet paper holder and started to curse, but luckily slurred my word. It was totally out. I asked Carly to go next door, wrap her hand five times, and bring me the toilet paper. Alastair used that as an opportunity to violate my privacy, but I quickly turned him. Carly came back with the toilet paper. I went through it in 20 seconds and I asked her to go back for three more winds. She did. I finished fast, reached down and flushed. Then Alastair lowered his sweats to floor level. I let him take the seat, although he's suppose to be working on standing and going. He's very nervous and peed some, but I wasn't about to force him to sit longer because I knew he would resist.
Our drive to the fairgrounds was fine, but we had to park in a back lot several blocks away from the fair. As soon as she stepped down from the truck, Carly said she had to crap. Of course, her brother made fun or her and a nasty remark. During our 15 minute walk I got upset with Alastair's complaints and acting up and I put him over my shoulders to speed things up. We passed absolutely no bathrooms for Carly. Once we got into the park, her pain got worse and she was sweating a ton and getting a little nauseous. We came to the animals annex and I encouraged her to hold on as we got closer. I asked a cop to point out the bathroom as she had both of her hands between her legs. Of course, we had to go around some major people jams of the petting zoo. Finally, I could smell the bathroom and we went into the dimly lit room. There were quite a few women and children using the facilities. I thought it was great when I saw privacy doors. But everything else was deplorable. I put Alastair down as we entered the first toilet. I closed the door. No latch, No matter because of the procedures we used. One of the dirtiest we've used. This was a really, really old toilet. Shaped kind of like a pear. Pee in the bowl and so much stain it would take a year to clean it. Carly struggled to get up on the much-higher-than-normal toilet. There were some splashes on the
lacquered but ancient wooden seat. When I turned Alastair toward the door, I didn't give him any options for misbehavior. It took Carly about 10 minutes to empty her bowels, but you could tell it was a complete clean-out. She asked that I not tell her mother that she was using that dirty of a bathroom and sitting butt-down directly on the seat. I told her I understood, but Alastair laughed and tried to turn around. I knew how she felt and I could have twisted his head off.
Both of the kids got a lesson about how old-fashioned these bathrooms were. There was a flush-chain hanging down from the ceiling that Carly tried to pull down. Of course, she didn't have the arm strength so I helped her out. Then she and her brother, who thought the flush was really wicked, (long and loud), took their positions against the door while I took the seat and got rid of the large coffees I had downed earlier while Spencer had taken his 15 to 20 minute dump at our apartment. We spent about 6 hours at the fair, but for the two bathroom stops we made, we got our hands stamped and walked to a fast food place across the highway from the fair grounds. That worked well.
And they both slept most of the way back home.
Juliette from France
Annie's dump on bus
Today, the school is going to oraganize us to Orleans, I got up in the morning to took a dump, but the toilet was occupied by Annie (a very beautiful girl with blonde hair and blue eyes), who told me that she had eaten something wrong yesterday. So I had to go outdoors to poop in the bushes. When I returned to my dormitory, Annie told me that she was better after diarrhea and could go to Orleans with us. But on the bus, she covered her stomach tightly, her beautiful features twisted together because of pain. Keep farting in a low voice, occasionally a few really unbearable farts will be put out, our area stinks. Suddenly, she let out a super-stinky, super-loud fart for 10 seconds. I squinted at Annie. She put her hand over her butt, but a large amount of brown watery stool spread under her underwear. She rushed to the toilet at the back of the bus. The toilet was very small and close to us, so only I could hear the sound inside. I heard the toilet cover open, then Annie sat on it, then a bunch of farts and many runny shit crashing into the water, then a storm of fart and shit... 20 minutes later, Annie came out, her long blonde hair shaking, sweeping away a trace of stench. She perfumes herself because she is stinking. Later, I went to see the toilet. The toilet was full of disgusted brown stool. There was a lot of shit sprayed on the wall. There was also some shit in the trash can and on the ground. It was horrible and disgusted to see.
Juliette from France
Strange embarrassing day
Today is strange, I couldn't remember what things I had eat yesterday that was wrong, and I didn't eat too much yesterday. I woke up very early this morning, before other roommates woke up, I already pooped for about 5 times. They were not big loads. On the rest of morning, I also pooped about 3 times in school bathroom. I felt more hungry than usual this noon, so I had a very heavy meal for lunch. I felt full after lunch, and I go to poop after lunch, I fart more stinky as usual after lunch. I had some exercise at the gym at noon, but I fart a lot while I exercise, and after exercise my belly was aching, so I borrowed some paper and went to the bathroom the tenth time today, I took a huge dump in the toilet and I clogged it. My stomach was still hurt after my #2, but I still went to class. My belly hurts more on class, so I fart to release the pressure, I try to keep the fart silent, but I stinks the whole classroom, many people were finding that did anyone shit their pants, nobody thought I did this, because I'm the second beautiful girl in the school, people all thinks that pretty girls never poop. But near the end of the class, I'm urge to poop, so I let out a giant smelly fart...... Now everybody were looking at me, everybody knew it was me who stinks the class, I can also feel that many watery stool that came out with the fart were now spreading under my underwear, I tell the teacher to let me to go to the toilet, the teacher agreed, at the moments I stand up from seat, all of those stinky watery stool spurt out of my underwear and
Sam
Juliette from France: That is genuinely impressive output. Wow. And it's not cool of your one boyfriend to have broken up with you over what it's like when you poop. You can't control what your body does.
I tend to do soft, gassy poops myself, but only 2 or 3 a day, and they're not that big. I don't get an upset stomach over them, so I think my system is just kinda fast.
Anyway, I was doing one of these in a supermarket bathroom today (for the record, I will shit in just about any bathroom so long as it's not filthy), and someone came in talking on the phone. It's a pet peeve of mine, and I was sort of bummed that I didn't have any more noisemaking left in me to embarrass him.
But when I got out, I realized it was a store employee taking an important call during a bathroom break, because they wouldn't let him answer it on shift. I've been in that boat, where I was reprimanded for taking calls from my doctor or whoever on the clock, even though they were time-sensitive. So I was glad I ended up sparing him. Especially since, depending on department, even getting a bathroom break is questionable. I have no idea how people working register hold it, to be honest.
Starbucks poop
Surprise ???? Troubles
So I'm a 20 year old girl from America. I'm very regular and almost never have issues with pooping. I'm usually in and out within a couple of minutes and I can almost always avoid having to poo in public. Today, however I had a crazy experience. I was at a Starbucks and I felt a sudden and urgent, familiar rumbling in my belly. I considered waiting to be home, but decided since I would probably only be a minute, I might as well get it out of my system now, since my stomach was feeling a little more upset than it usually does. I was still waiting for my drink so I headed over to one of two single person bathrooms in the back. Even though the Starbucks was a little busy, I didn't have to wait for a toilet. I sat down, peed and began to push. Within a minute or so, my normal, banana shaped log had plopped into the toilet, only I wasn't done. In fact, my stomach ache was even worse now than when I sat down. I doubled over, groaning in pain, squeezing out another log. And again, when it was finally out I still felt full. I sat on the toilet for what felt like ages, moaning, rubbing my poor ????, and pushing out log after never ending log. The logs each came out pretty easily, it just felt like a never ending struggle on the toilet. Outside of my restroom I could hear the barista calling my name, I could hear a line filtering through the other restroom next to me. Two people waiting for the toilets knocked and asked if I was alright throughout the course of my ordeal. I couldn't believe what was happening. Finally, after fifteen minutes of continuously pooping, my stomach felt empty enough to stand up and wipe. Unfortunately as soon as I stood to grab the paper, my stomach rumbled again so I sighed and resumed my position and finished up with a couple of hard to pass, sticky logs. Finally feeling better, I stood up once again. I looked into the toilet to see the bowl literally filled with too many logs to count or make out. The smallest log that I could see in the huge pile was probably seven inches long and 1.5 inches thick. I was shocked! No wonder my stomach was so upset! I wiped a lot and had to flush three times before washing my hands and sheepishly facing the line, running and finding my melting drink at the bar and leaving. I have no idea what I could have eaten to give me such a hard time in the bathroom, I just hope it never happens again.traveler fan
question for Traveler
Traveler:
You have great stories; I wanted to ask, have you ever considered wearing a diaper when pursuing your travel activities? They seem to be the situations in which you might have an accident in your pants.patrick
Miss Maisy
I loved your story, I've messed the bed while sick before and I know how uncomfortable it is. I hope you both get well soon. did you or your boyfriend have any other accidents after?
kmd
To Jessica B
Hi Jessica B
Great to hear from you again. Good story about your skiing trip and the toilet experiences of you and your friends. I like the descriptive effort you put in to your posts. I have a question about the tan colored turds that Melanie passed in the clogged toilet. How many were there - and roughly how big in terms of length and width were they? I'm intrigued because it seemed she really had to go and couldn't hold back despite realising the toilet was clogged.
Anyway, I always enjoyed reading your posts in the past and I missed your stories. Hope you find the time to post regularly again. Also, if I remember correctly you were finding work stressful in the past - I hope that is better now.
Take care
kmd
Sunday, August 18 2019
Imogen
Shopping centre poo
Hey, last week after work on Tuesday I went into the big shopping centre in the city centre to pick up something. As I was in the shop I felt a need for a poo coming on so I headed to toilets in the centre, which were pretty quiet. I hung up my bag and pulled my trousers and blue knickers down, and let loose a loud fart! I could feel the poo slowly coming along, so I just sat there to let it work its way out.
I heard footsteps and talking and next I knew there were people in the next cubicle, it sounded like a mum and a daughter. "I need to do a great big poo!" announced the child proudly and the mum said "Yes, but everybody else doesn't need to know!". At that point my poo dropped into the loo and the girl shouted out "Somebody else is doing a poo as well!"! I wiped and left the toilets as she was happily talking away with her mum.
Brandon
Avengers
Does anyone have a story about having to pee during avengers endgame when seeing it in theaters especially u boys .....wat did u do, did u wear a diaper or whip it out and pee into floor/onto back of seat in front of u or in cup or something else
Traveler
Embarrassing wetting accident
I recently traveled to upper Michigan to met my girlfriend up there. she was going to be on Vacation & was staying at a hotel with an indoor pool & she knows the owner so she said I could get a deal on a room also. it was our last day up there so that morning Lisa..my girlfriend was in the pool with her daughter Sidney & I was just sitting poolside but was in my clothes, dress shirt, Khakis & a sweater. then Sidney said to me "Why don't you jump in the pool with all of your clothes on. Lisa said "Yeah, you should!" & she dared me to. she said "You still have one change of nice clothes like you are wearing & not like we will be doing anything that gets us wet so you will be fine. So I did. They got a big kick out of it. now, that was just the morning activities & not what this story is about, but I was down to my last set of clothes after that.
So, I got changed into my other clothes. We got ready to leave the hotel then. we went to a festival where there was a carnival. Lisa's daughter Sidney really wanted to ride this wild ride called the Inversion. it swings back & forth while rotating & eventually goes up & over upside down. she really wanted her mom to ride it with her, but she was ..like "No way, I'm not riding that. like a typical 10 year old, the kid was fearless. Lisa asked me if I would be willing to ride with her. I did not want to seem like a coward so I agreed to but was not crazy about it. Lisa told Sidney to go use the restroom so that she wouldn't risk something happening, then she turned to me & said " Maybe you should go pee too while smirking & laughing. I assured her I would be fine. No, looking back her advice would have been good advice. so we get on the ride & it starts swinging back & forth & rotating gaining height with each swing & I knew right away this was not my cup of tea, then we go upside down & almost hang up there rotating. I almost greyed out, but then that is when I felt a sudden urge to pee & just like that, I was peeing myself. I could see a huge wet stain on my khakis & then we go upside down again & hang there. I was still peeing & since we were upside down, pee starting running out of my tan sweater. I was scared & knew I was gonna be mortified. Finally the ride come to a stop & I don't know what to do or say. Sidney was raving about how awesome the ride was & then turned to me & said "Oh my gosh, did you have an accident!" I told the ride attendant what happen because I had to. she was like "Oh no!"for real?" anyway, we get released from the ride & Sidney is already out by her mom. she knew what had happened when I got out to her. she was like "Oh no, that's a bad accident. you are so wet. You really have it now, what are you going to do for clothes? " she said "You had a nice outfit too!" then she smiled & said.."I guess you should have used to restroom before going on that ride, Oh well, I know you are embarrassed but what happened, happened, you can't call it back now. we just need to stop back at the hotel so you can change out of your peed stuff." she told me not to feel bad & that anyone can have an accident. Last night when we met again, lisa said she just wanted me to know that it was ok that I had an accident & not to feel ashamed of it. she said it's kind of like those rare times at school that one of he 1st. or 2nd grade students has an accident. she said she pulls them aside & tells them it is ok. she said that if we adults have that happen, we need to hear that too.Brandon T
comments & stuff
To: An Embarrassed Pooper great story about pooping with the stall door open sounded you were very desperate both times.
To: Taylor great story it sounds like the 3 of you had great poops.
To: Kathleen first welcome to the site and great story it sounds like you all had great poops and I bet you all felt pretty good afterwards and please post anymore stories you may have thanks.
To: Jessica B great set of stories it sounds like all had lots of pooping adventures.
To: Victoria B great story it sounds like you had a good poop.
To: Juliette From France first welcome to the site and great story it sounds you all really had to poop a lot and I look forward to reading more of your stories thanks.
To: Kamdyn great story about you pooping with your mom.
To: Abbie as always another great story about you and your friends pooping.
Well that's all for now.
Sincerely Brandon T
PS. I love this siteVictoria B.
Responses and story
Hey!
Some notes and then a quick story for today.
To Minappe: Thank you for sharing that bit about Kazuko's poop smile. Do any of the rest of you sigh, smile or do something else on your way to give the toilet a nice full meal? Glad to hear you're feeling better!
(PS: I finally got to use a toilet with a washlet seat for a number two. I have seen the light and will never go back. I'm getting one for my bathroom as soon as I can!)
To Taylor: I was impressed by your honesty when you admitted that you were afraid of clogging Jennifer's toilet and asked for a plunger. It's also neat that you're into pooping in unconventional places: it makes me feel a little naughty when I get the opportunity!
Yesterday I was on a run in my city when I got a sharp knock on my back door. This was one I couldn't ignore because I was far enough away from my apartment that I wouldn't have been able to make it back to my apartment in addition to having been a little constipated the days before. It was important to make sure that I went once the urge returned!
I found a gas station and barreled through the shelves on my way to the bathrooms. Somehow I maintained enough awareness to lock the door before ripping my black leggings and turquoise thong down to my calves and thrusting my butt onto the one toilet in the women's room without bothering to check for wiping paper first!. Thankfully the roll in the metallic holder was brand new!
I sighed my poop sigh and let loose a fart that rattled the bowl when all of a sudden there was a knock at the door. I replied by saying "Occupied!" at a polite but clear volume before starting to push at my first turd. When I get constipated I often have a hard plug of a turd bottling up a good amount of softer stuff. This plug tends to be huge and this was no exception. I was concentrating on short, gentle pushes to get it started on the way to the water beneath when there was another knock. "Occupied!" was my response again, though I did question the point of the second knock. Where else would I have gone??
I farted out some pressure as I continued pooping. The turd was about half out when that same knock came on the bathroom door. By this point I was starting to get annoyed. Hassling someone on the toilet is one of the rudest things a person can do in my book and I took my thoughts off of the massive log between my cheeks and focused on restraining myself from saying something that would've escalated the situation. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, leaned forward and punched my huge log out! I felt so much better but knew I had enough left over to justify multiple flushes. However, as soon as the water returned from sucking down my monster motion there was a louder knock on the door!
I was officially mad at this point: why wouldn't this woman leave me alone? If it was so urgent why couldn't she just use the men's? "I'll be done as quickly as I can! Stop bothering me!!" I said before unleashing a torrent of soft-serve that splattered into the bowl below. Another such load passed before there was another knock. By this point I was seeing red and the gloves came off. "F@#* off; I'm trying to poop here!" I was thankfully done and angrily ripped paper before wiping my butt raw out of anger. I flushed before getting up, getting dressed and washing my hands.
I walked out as slowly as I could, staring daggers at the door knocker. It turned out to be a snickering boy of about ten who saw me enter and must have been without parental supervision. He didn't even need to use that bathroom-what a little brat! I took off and ran for another two miles to help deal work through my anger. I felt a little guilty for snapping so hard but at the same time the kid needed to be shown that people will not to take kindly to being harassed in public places.
Hope this never happens to you!
Love,
Victoria