Jane
Sometimes I've had those days when I felt like I was about to explode in the butt, only to hold it in for most of the day and have an upset stomach most of the time. It's like those days when it's muggy all day, the clouds get thicker throughout the day, and all of a sudden it's dark and the skies break loose with a deluge of rain. I had such an experience during my last year as an undergrad in college.
I had a normal BM in the morning, but I had a queasy feeling since breakfast. I had an upset feeling in my stomach that just wouldn't go away. I went several times during the day, but my schedule was so busy, with class, work, errands, etc., that I was able to pee, fart on occasion, or maybe pass a single little piece of poop, but nothing more. Yet, my stomach continued to ache and got worse throughout the day. I hated taking antacid pills, but I took some Tums. It helped a little, but I began to feel it in the stomach again. After I got off work at the booksto! re, I went to the mall with my friend Sara. We were sipping on some iced tea at the food court, but I was not very comfortable. As an aside, I was wearing a very short light blue miniskirt, and as I was trying to sit comfortably, I had inadvertently given an exhibition of the white panties I was wearing underneath to a couple of boys, who were scolded by their mother. I thought about going to the ladies room before leaving the mall, but I thought I could wait until I got home.
As we drove through the campus, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in the stomach and had a very urgent need to poop. Sara drove to the main research library, and we ran inside. She said she would wait for me in the lounge. I went up to the second floor and into the ladies room. I took a stall, slammed the door shut, lifted my skirt and lowered my white panties, and sat. I started to push out a thick piece that felt like an extra thick Baby Ruth bar. It slowly came out, and it was extra long.! It wouldn't come out on its own, so I gave it an extra push, straining until my face felt like it was very red. It started to hit the water before I was done, and a piece broke off and made a big splash. However, the other piece was still coming out, and it started to hit the water before I was finally finished pushing it out, and it made another big splash. However, it did not relieve my stomach ache.
Once I pushed out that big fat turd, I unleashed a nasty barrage of soft mushy poop. It came in wave after wave with no sign of stopping for several minutes. Of course, I flushed the toilet after every other wave, and I was making a big stink in the ladies room. I was in there for 10 minutes when Sara came in to check up on me. I said I was still at it, at which point I felt a sharp pain and let go a massive wave of soft poop that nearly displaced all of the water in the toilet. I flushed, not knowing if even the powerful flush was enough to push it all down, ! but it managed to do so. Sara asked if there was anything she could do to help, like get some TP if I was low. I said there was a full roll here, so I said I'm just letting it all out. Sara said she would stay for moral support and went into the stall next to mine, though she wasn't really doing anything. I kept pushing wave after wave of soft poop. I couldn't call it diarrhea because it was not runny poop, but I couldn't believe it was possible to push out so much poop at once. I was determined to sit through it until I was completely done. We were in there for another ten minutes, and I continued to push out wave after wave of poop, including a couple more very nasty waves that came close to clogging the toilet. At some point Sara peed for a little but and flushed but continued to sit. Finally I was done and started wiping. I used so much TP that it took two flushes to go down. I flushed a final time and saw that I left a big skidmark and some brown stains on the ! toilet.
When I emerged from the stall, Sara asked if I was all right. I gave her a big hug and didn't let go for a minute, thanking her for being there for support. Sara and I (and Carrie) shared many good times, including a few instances of "buddy dumping". In fact, Carrie and I go way back to grade school. Although we are all married, we are still the best of friends.
Ben in NY
To Kim and Scott,
I must say, your stories really turn me on! Keep 'em comin'! I live near New Jersey, where in NJ are you? How old are you guys? Just wondering, please don't feel obligated to answer if you would rather not. Just wanted to voice my appreciation for your stories!
Harry (Pacific Northwest, U.S.A)
Nguyen>> Hey, just a note to say that I grew up in a town not all that far from you...You mentioned living in Spokane, Washington State. Well, I live in a town about 120 miles due south of there, Lewiston, Idaho...
I forget whom it was that posted it, but they reminded me of an incident when I was about 4 years old. My mom had taken my sister and I down the street to a neighbors house to play with the kids that lived there. While we were there, I remember having to take a pee, so I pulled my penis out and let it go...Pee flying everywhere including in a big arch...The neighbor girls screamed, "Mommie, Harry's peeing outside!!!" By the time my mom came out, I had finished peeing and tucked it back in, and my mom giving me a swat on the butt and was told not to do it again, especially not in front of other little girls...
Hi Teenage Girl!
I am glad you answered me!! Do you ever daydream about A.J or any of the others going to the bathroom?? My friend Renee-Anne says that she told everyone here about a dream she had with Brian going to the bathroom. Its like on page 200 and something, but I can't remember what page exactly. She also had a few others with both Nick and Brian going. How old are you BTW??Angela
Someone asked about more stories. There aren’t many. My BM occurs every day at the same time with little drama, so doesn’t seem unusual to me. If you think the action is not much different to blowing your nose, just getting rid of waste products. If I tell you what happened today, perhaps you fellas will be happy and interested. I have never understood why men are so curious, however, I do confess to getting a little aroused by sounds and sights in the ladies restrooms. I thought I was unusual, but these pages prove otherwise.
Today was usual. I go at about 8 am before leaving for work. I am very regular. So much so that I just go into the toilet, lift the lid and slide my trousers and pale blue panties down just below the knee and sit. I sit with my legs slightly apart. You would see my darkish pubic hair (I don’t shave) if you were with me. Today I had no particular feeling of needing to go. But once down a little push produced 4 or 5 medium sized pieces more or less st! raight away. Plop, plop plop. A long pee followed and I sat for a few more minutes when a second 3 or 4 pieces came out with a little dribble. No farts, they are usually discretely delivered during the day. 5 wipes of the bottom and one of the vaginal opening followed by a wash in the bidet. Then I pull up panties and trousers feeling fresh and ready for the day’s challenges.
If I have time I will try to remember some Carrie incidents.
Angela (part 2)
Well this is my second post today, and just proves how unpredictable a body can be. I’m around the office and just finished my lunch break. All my crowing about how boring and predictable my BM’s are was put in perspective just now. I had to make an urgent visit to the ladies room about 10 mins ago with a really pressing need to go. This arose with no warning, perhaps as the result of each fresh fruit yesterday. For all who are interested here’s what happened. Quickly into the ladies rest room which has 3 stalls. I chose the one furthest from the door to maximise privacy skipping quickly in locked the door fumbling as fast as I could to get the trousers undone. Why do you take longer when its urgent? Panties dropped and then sit. Out it came without any pushing and certainly no waiting, not runny but loose and with a noisy fart, which did smell after a while. A small pee followed. Altogether not much, but very necessary. 6 or so wipes to get myself clean and out of the cubicle! . No one else came in all this time and I opened a window to let the smells disperse. The whole exercise took 5 mins.Bear
Good Morning All!
Haven't posted for a while but I've followed this forum quite regularly <GRIN> since I discovered it. Just got up a half hour ago and am sitting at the PC with my cigar and a truly enormous cup of strong coffee: a combination that has already produced a truly gratifying curly log that was already well into the bowl while still sliding out my hairy butt. I know smoking is a famous laxative and it seems all I have to do is take one or two puffs and I get that pushing feeling in my lower bowel that is so pleasurable.
All the same my work and other activities are probably going to force me to curtail my smoking in a short time; at least cut back to special occasions. A buddy of mine took a fun series if pictures of me a while back, sitting on the can both nude and in my favorite red union suit, grunting and spreading my ass and puffing on a cigar. Having let my mustache grow out into a large set of mutton-chops the effect was rather "Old W! est"! Suppose those antics qualify as "special occasions" <evil GRIN>
Speaking of male buddy-dumping scenes, one I'd love to see involves the fiming of an American Western. Just imagine mature actors like Tom Selleck, Chuck Norris and Sam Elliott on location and having to squat in a row on a trio of camping toilets with no privacy, having to grunt and wipe in full view of each other!
I ran across a funny ad for a camping toilet comprised of a rack and seat that attaches to the bumper of a pickup truck...called...what else...the "BumperDumper"! May just have to invest in one for summer road-trips and camping!
When in the mensroom of a store like Home Depot I relish being in a stall and seeing a big pair of hairy calves with jeans or painter's pants around another guy's workboots and hearing the satisfied grunts and plops of him relieving himself and watching his feet and legs shift as he adjusts himself on the seat. The camaraderie is very rela! xing.
Having done a lot of long-distance running in years past I have had plenty of experiences of having to shuck my shorts in the nearest available shrubbery and dump! I learned early on to carry and old handkerchief as a reserve but the combination of sweat and chafing afterwards made for a stinging experience in the shower!
For my fellow members who employ enemas for cleansing and relaxation: I have found that mixing a tablespoon or so of baking soda per couple of quarts of water makes for a more effective "clearing out" and prevents my system from reabsorbing fluid. The bloated feeling I used to get after a thorough cleansing is eliminated and the rectal irritation as well.
This morning's ramble is concluded...hope it gave someone pleasure besides myself.
Warm Regards to Everyone!
Tony
Rose, when I was a kid our toilet had a large pan but the cistern took a long time to refill and the flush wasnt that powerful. As a result any decent sized jobbie would stay behind and take two or three flushes to go away, to my great pleasure. This fault may have been repairable and certainly replacing the cistern would have sorted it, but Im glad to say it was never fixed, it was just an accepted factor in our house. Apart from my mum's big turds I often saw the jobbies that relatives, neighbours and visitors passed, and this gave me a buzz particularly when these had been done by a girl or woman. Some modern toilet pans have a weak flush as fashion with a silent flush, low level pan, etc, etc, has outweighed function and these pans are unable to cope with large solid jobbies which stay behind again a source of pleasure to me. As I understand things the looney green brigade in the USA have forced the adoption in many States of the low volume flush so I imagine the "turd in ! the toilet that wont go away" will become more common in America with even relatively small jobbies say of about 7 inches long staying behind after the first flush although you could hardly call these "panbusters" as Nicola describes. We dont have this water saving policy over here in the UK although as I have said more modern toilet suites dont have the capability of the older plain styles. If you want a toilet that will cope with large turds, toilet paper, samitary towels and tampons and even disposable nappies (diapers) although I dont recommend flushing these as they can clog the pipes further on, then forget fashion get a large plain white toilet pan of the type used in old public toilets, factory toilets, school toilets etc with a large cistern, 3 gallon if possible. The best cisterns are the high level type mounted above the toilet pan on the wall and flushed by pulling a chain as there is a good head of water. This combination will shift all but the really long fat wh! oppers of 12 inches or bigger and even these usually go after 2 or 3 flushes at most. Also these old style pans give lovely "Ker-sploonk!" sounds which the newer type dont make. As many people now like to fit Victorian and Edwardian Type Retro Bathroom suites especially in older houses then these big old white pans are making a welcome comeback.
Mia, if you have a really big fat hard turd to pass like that try pushing gently on your ???? as you do it as this raises the abdominal pressure. My Mum taught me to do this as this was a trick she used when she had a big fat jobbie up there that was difficult to pass. Also inserting some vaseline (petroleum jelly) or KY Jelly will help to lubricate the rectum and ease the passage of a big fat hard jobbie. Again, Liquid Parafin (Mineral Oil) is a simple lubricant not a harsh purgative and it helps oil the tubes as it where but of course being taken by mouth will mean a few hours to have any effect. By the way Mia, what was t! he turd like? I assume it was big hard and lumpy.
Victoria, what laxative manufacturers mean by "gentle" and what the ordinary person understands are quite different and you wont be the first person to be caught out by the powerful effects of a so called "gentle laxative". Unless prescribed by a Doctor or Nurse for good medical reasons the best thing to do with any laxative is to drop the pills or pour the liquid straight down the toilet and cut out the middle man (I think it was Nicola who said this in an old post). Apart from Liquid Parafin which is the only one I have ever used and which in recommended doses is a simple lubricant and doesnt make the stools loose, all other laxatives or purgatives to give them their proper name work either by irritating the bowels thus increasing the peristaltic waves and making the feces rush through faster so there is no time to absorb the water and loose stools or diarrhea occurs. This is how cascara, senna,castor oil, ex lax et! c work. Others such as Milk of Magnesia, Epsom Salts, (Magnesium Sulfate), Laculose, raise the osmotic tension of the feces and block the absorbtion of water by the colon thus cause watery diarrhea. Others cause an increased flow of bile which also makes the bowels move faster with looser stools. So if you take any laxative be prepared for loose motions or the runs, that is what they are designed to do. If you DO tend to constipation and only pass small hard lumpy stools with difficulty and there is no underlying problem, (always see a Doctor if you have strange bowel symptoms or sudden unexplained changes in bowel habit), then I would suggest drinking more fluid, eating more foods rich in fibre and find a balance where your stools are as solid as you wish but easy to pass. Theresa and I prefer our motions to be solid and formed and like to go after lunch in the middle of the day, others prefer to pass a softer but still formed stool in the morning, its a matter of personal ch! oice. I would however keep off the prune juice as you have found that it isnt "gentle". In fact in the 40 or so years I have been fascinated by defecation I have not yet heard of a "gentle" laxative (apart from Liquid Parafin), which allows the taker to pass solid normal motions rather than a load of loose mush or full blown watery diarrhea. Perhaps other readers know of one?
JacobG
Moderator - Thanks for your work to keep this site going. Just wanted to let you know something is wrong with the "most recent" link. I could not get to the May 16 postings.
Ian and Pete (and others who may have posted on May 16): Thanks for the info on cruise ship toilets and the warning about the suction. I usually wipe while sitting (in the nude often) and flush while sitting since I use a lot of toilet paper. However, I will not forget that suction horror story, so I will be sure to stand and close the lid each time I flush. I'll be going to Nassau in the Bahamas this summer. I imagine the restrooms in Nassau will be decent and not much different than the US, since Nassau is a major tourist area. If I'm wrong, someone please let me know so I can prepare myself for it. I must admit, when I found out I would be going on a cruise, I wondered first about the toilets and restrooms on board - not about the other aspects of the cruise and ship, (such as the state! rooms, food, amenities, islands, etc.).
lexis
to "Need to know about going pee", what i do
is about 20 or 30 min after i "really gotta
go", i start moving back and forth. by an hr
later, my legs are crossed. and hr. and a half later, i am squeezing my legs together. by two hours later, i usually cant hold it anymore, but if i am lucky i can let out a small squirt which will buy me 5 or 10 min at MOST!! Hopt this helps--to simon, the longest i have held my pee is for 7 hours, and thats even with drinking 4 20 oz watterbottles and 2 gatorades!!!
luv ya, lexis
accident girl
Ok today i was sick, but I got up and went to school anyway, cause I had some test. As soon as i got to school i felt worse and worse as i walked down the hall. I began to feel incredibly sick in first hour until I knew that I couldn't hold it in any longer. i asked my teacher(a substitute) if i could go to the bathroom and she said no. SO i went back to my set for about 30 sec and i could just feel my dinner from last night coming up in my mouth. It got to my mouth but I swallowed it back down, making me feel even worse. Now people were starting to notice how bad i looked and started yelling at the teacher to let me go to the bathroom. This ofcourse made the teacher get more insistent on not letting me go. So i decided to just get up and go rather than sit there and puke on myself. My teacher got up and ran in front of the door to block me from going. As I got up to leave i was swallowing my second upheval, I knew that the next time i had an upheavla it was all comi! ng out. I got to the door and started trying to fight the teacher to let me out, and she touched my stomach, just a little touch and i couldn't hold it in any longer. I threw up this brownish green foul smelling, steaming, seething mass of chunky vomit all over her. i didn't get any on myself. Instead of getting out of the way she continued to keep me from getting out and I continued to retch all over her three times in a row the second and third batch wereliquid and chunky... I couldn't help it i was so sick. By the time i was finished I was so weak from vomiting and fever that i collasped on the floor and had to be carried to the nurses office. I lied there for about 10 before I started puking again. once on the floor and three times in the trash. Still chunky. After about 20 minutes though i was stable enough to drive home from school, but I live 45 minutes away. My stomach was majorly upset and I could feel that i had to go poop about 10 minutes into my ride. I hadn't been for almost 4 days so it just started coming. I tried to hold it in while I was looking for a place to pull off on the highway, but the were doing construction an it was down to one lane. there was nowhere to get over. Meanwhile I was also trying to fight off the waves of nausea that were threating to over take me. I finally knew that I had to do one or the other: puke or poop. I had to poop really bad and i could feel it starting to poke its head out threw my hole...further and further and i just let a little out hoping to relieve the pressure. Thankfully only a little poke came out. I felt the puke coming up up up up from my stomach. So I rolled down the window and leaned out to let it rip. I am really short so i had to lean pretty far and as I leaned my jobbied started to go and I couldn't control it. I had on skirt with no underwear and just stockings. It kept coming and coming. and it didn't break off. Finally while this was happening the traffic started to move and open up back to three lanes so as soon as it opened up I pulled over to the side and it was just sticking out...not breaking off or anything just standing their. So i was trying to keep off of the seat so i wouldn't make a bigger mess. i climbed out the passnger door and tore my stockings off and let it rip. It took almost 3 minute before the jobbie finished coming out. I picked it up with some tissue i had in my car and stored it in the back to measure later (When i measured it when i got home it was 17 nad 1/2 inches long and 5 inches going across. I have never had anything that big come out of me.) But that was not the end. I got back in the car and started driving again. my stomach started gurgling something fierce. i knew what was coming next. I pulled off at the next exit and found an Arbor drugs. i was going to get some anti diarreal stuff and I knew I had a major load that was not going to wait til i got home. As I was walking from my car to the store I felt my stomach start to heave again. I started running and that made it worse. I started throwing up again and again as i was running through the store and at the same time I lost control of my bowels and brown juice started running down my legs. I finally made it to the bathroom and got cleaned up. No one laughed though because it was obvious how sick i was. I came out and grabbed by medicine and waited in line. In line the nausea hit me again. I ran to a trash can and became violently ill. My body was shaking and jerking as each wave of puke excreeted from my body. I don't remeber what happened next cause I blacked out and woke up in an ambulance. at the hospital they said i had food poisoning and sent me home.. i had to go back with a friend to get my car. Now I am sitting with my trash can in hand getting ready to throw up again bye.
Katy K
Hi, everyone. I was the girl who posted a while ago about my fantasy to watch my boy cousin Andrew on the toilet. In the end, we both went together after deciding what we wanted to do, and we both posted our experiences here. By the way, I didn't kill him for not telling me he could see my poos coming out at the time ! If I'd known, I would have been so embarressed.
Anyway, since then, I've been a much more confident person, and I haven't needed Andrew to walk me home from school anymore. However, today he did do because Mum and Dad are away until late, so he came home with me to keep me company. We've never seen each other on the toilet again, although we could have done several times.
However, tonight Andrew suddenly announced that he was in dire need of a humongous poo, and caught me by surprise by asking if I wanted to come with him. I said yes, so we went upstairs to the bathroom. This was very different to last time when we had talked and planned it all! . This was spontaneous, and very exciting !
After he pulled his trousers and pants down to his ankles again and sat on the toilet, he asked me if I would like to see his poo coming out. I said I would. So he had to hold his (excited) willie and balls up, willie in one hand, balls in the other.
He no sooner had done that and his poo appeared, it was long and thin, and moved like grease lightening. It was plopping almost silently in the water at a rate of about two a second ! And there was loads ! And it really smelled bad. After it stopped, we talked a bit, and then it started again, just like before ! He did this three times, making a massive pile of shit.
After he finished, I let him watch me again. I needed a poo as well, but nowhere near as urgently as he did. And this time, I didn't hide my bits from him ! I hadn't changed into a skirt this time and was still wearing my school trousers. Boy was he surprised when I actually took off my trousers a! nd panties altogether, so I could sit on the loo with my legs open wide for him, to return the compliment he paid me !
I only managed two quite small poos, of around 4 inches each, but they made very satisfying plops when they fell out my bottom.
Afterwards, Andrew and I got talking, with all our excitement at seeing one another again. Wouldn't it be fun to have a party with three or four of our best friends each, a toilet party where we would all take it in turns to go and let all the others watch !! Mum and Dad are away again for a whole day the weekend after next. I don't know what my friends will say to this, but I'll be sure to tell you all afterwards if we get this party off the ground !!Bryian
Hi Everyone, I've been so busy with school and work. Right now i feel like i haven't had time to take a crap, does any one else feel like this? I feel like this because i haven't crapped in like almost 4 days, i think this is from being busy and not having time to shit(hadn't had an urge since sunday)and if i was home more i probably would have had an urge by now.
LISA
Buzzy---I'd dump in the woods with you anytime. Keep those stories coming friend. I should have at least one next week after I go up to the cabin.
Kimberly--yea 7-8 inchers are typical for me but I often do bigger ones. Just not 13 inches big.lol..I like your stories & hope things continue to go well for you & Scott.
John--yes I did pick up one of those measuring tapes to carry in my pocket just in case. I have a feeling that Kimberly's turd was biger then mine though.
No story for tonight. I had Chinese food for supper & have got the worst gas. I've been farting for a couple hours now & they smell aweful.
LISAWednesday, May 17, 2000
Rose
Do any of you have toilets that are kinda weak (with the flushes) and can easily clog simply by using a tad bit too much TP?Simon
Bladder Holding girl - Sorry you did not leave a name, do you do the same with your poop, and if so, what is the longest you have held it for, and for what reason do/did you hold it? I can only manage about a day if I eat a lot of stodge that blocks me up.
Louise
SCOTT - Yeah, I thought you must have a basement or
somewhere without windows to lift your weights in the
nude. Hehe. I lift mine with the curtains shut or else
I would be putting on a show when topless!
Yeah, I reckon you and Kim must have lots of stories
that you can not tell here. The big fun then is in
having the stories to tell even if you can't! So keep
on having lots of fun!
I'd just like to ask you if when you are sitting on
the toilet, do you hold your cock to aim it when you
are pissing or do you let it hang loose like Steve
does?
KIMBERLEY - That was a really good story you told us
about you and Scott! It is good to see your guy on the
toilet isn't it, especially if he pisses there as well
as having a shit. I bet you must have enjoyed watching
him. I often do smaller logs than you but sometimes I
can do a quite big one too. I think maybe your bumhole
could be more used to stretching very wi! de than mine
is. I like your story a lot, and I am sure Steve will
love it too when he reads it. I think he will wish he
had been watching because he likes girls pissing like
mad and shitting big logs. When we get up, he loves
watching me sit on the toilet and do a hot yellow
burster before squeezing out a nice shit!
I think you and Scott like to get hot as much as Steve
and I. Keep it up, your Scott sounds nice!
I would like to tell everybody about what happened at
the weekend when we were going to go jogging around the
park. We were walking just to get warmed up, and I was
in my little running shorts that Steve says shows off
my long tanned legs. I had been feeling like I
might need to shit soon, but I found I was now feeling
like I might have diarrhoea. I told Steve I really
needed to go, and there were lots of people about. I
was really squeezing my bumhole tightly shut, and I
really really did no! t want to have an accident. I
was real lucky though, because I made it to where there
were no children about. I went behind a tree and pulled
my shorts down and squatted. Steve was watching and a
lot of brown sludge poured out from my bumhole for a
long time. It was really messy, and I had a good long
piss as well to get myself really empty. I think some
people saw, and I had to pull my shorts up and never
mind the messy state my bum was in. Steve took me back
home to get clean, and he jumped in the shower with me.
I really enjoyed that shower, as I love him washing my
bum, and judging from the angle of his cock, I know he
liked it too. We had a really good hot session of
horizontal jogging instead of running!
Louise.John(VT)
Hi, everyone! Wow! Excellent Mother's Day postings!
Liz: Welcome! Interesting, but unfortunate accident! I'd
guess it was the bologna responsible for the diarrhea, too... Could you tell us about a more relaxing, enjoyable
poop you've had?
Angela: Welcome to you, too! Great story! I'm just curious... do you think Jim has any clue what he's in for
with Carrie's bathroom habits? Any more good Carrie stories?
How about one about you?
Kimberley: Welcome back! And yet another very entertaining
story! You really have a flair for telling them, and I
already mentioned your confidence is infectious... did Scott
REALLY think (even for two seconds!) that he was going to
win the buddy dump competition against YOU??? GREAT description of the actual expulsion... I'm guessing this one
was even fatter than your "usual monsters?" I DO think you should get a tape measure, though, we poor readers don't know if you beat Lisa's "offici! al" 13 1/2 incher or not...
no surprise Scott was turned on right afterwards; and yes,
I think you should try that again!Mia
My most difficult dump was when I was in high school. It started out normal then seemed to stop. I strained for several minutes before giving up from exhaustion.
After a few hours I went back into the bathroom to try to find some relief. After sliding out a little ways quite easily it became stuck once again. I took a deep breath and pushed as hard as I could, gripping the roll of toilet paper in effort. It barely started moving and I could feel it open me up quite wide. After a minute of nonstop intense straining it finally dropped free. My body was still shaking from effort, thought I never made any grunting noises. I never grunt on the toilet.
Gruntly Bogwell
Please be advised, if you have to have hernia surgery to take stool softeners a least a week before you go in to the hospital. I was the victim of ignorance of the consequences when I had laproscoptic surgery for double hernias. This is the procedure where they put three small holes in your abdomen fill your gut with air then patch the hernias from the inside using a special scope to see what they were doing. I actually went home from the hospital the next day, but not before the nurse asked if I had had a bowel movement...yeah right after getting operated on and hurting, like you really are going to want to strain to unload your nether hole. The word physician means "one who give physics"...in other words Anglo-Saxon doctors of old thought a good shit was the cure for all ills and would prescribe a "course of physic". So much for the social standing of doctors.
Another thing they don't tell you is that all that the air they pump into your gut somehow gets into yo! ur system and gives you awful gas attacks and belching the day after you come home, Gas-X is recommended. I called the nurse to complain about the gas and the first thing she wanted to know was wheher I had had a "bowel movement". When I replied "no" she seemed to get all bent out of shape and told me to take milk of magnesia. This got me worried that maybe I had better take a shit or I would be in trouble...so I started on this "course of physic," but it didn't work...no poo was forthccoming...and I got more worried that my recovery was in jeopardy. How the heck do you strain for a poo with a sore gut, from the operation? Meanwhile I was starting to get my appetite back and starting to eat more, but alas no poo. I started to get desperate, spurred on by the knowledge that the nurse said if I didn't have a bowel movement I would have to come back in to the hospital. What do do...I tried a water enema, no soap or stimulants...my stomach hurt and now my hole was being viol! ated witht the little tube, but all that came out was water. The desperation arose, I finally stuck my finger up my anal tunnel to see if I could find out why I wasn't shitting (yes I know this is gross, but how else can I warn you about gut surgery and the need for stool softeners). Anyway, there it was a monster turd, plugging my back alley...the water ememas were wahing up against it and flowing back out rather than dislogding, the log. I sat for half an hour at a time, hoping, now praying for relief...and all this with newly repaired hernias...I thought I was going to bust them open with the straining. I put soap all around my finger and stuck it up my now swollen brown eye...trying to stimulate the lingering load.
Then I got an inspiration from my trips to the far east and squatted like those Chinese ladies I had observed in Singapore. I held on to the toilet seat and squatted before the toilet...I knew I would not have an accident with the poo wadded and wedg! ed so tightly in my hole. I began to strain without trying to strain...talk about being between the devil and the deep blue sea (or brown poo in this case). I was starting to sweat as my hole undulated in the process in a vain attempt to disgorge the offending turd. Had to give up for the next day...I was getting more desperate.
The next day I started again with soap around the finger, up my hole and around the turd...and again squatted in front of the toilet with my hole pointed at the floor, and began the grunting and straining process again...slowly the urge began to grow and I felt there was hope...so I pulled up the toilet seat, got up on the bowl in the squatting position and leaned back, brai\cing with my feet, almost like the ancient Native American birthing process...in fact I was trying to birth this monster poo. Slowly, it began to move and I thought my guts and hole were going to come apart...oh my god the strain, the pressure, I swore something was go! ing to tear loose...at last this baseball sized lumpy mass of poo, fell into the toilet, with the proverbial "KERSPLOONK," made famous by Nicole and others. A geyser of water shot up and splashed agaisnt my quivering hole, hovering above the bowl. I flipped the toilet seat back down and collapsed on it in thankfulness and relief. Another softer turd only about an inch across filed my back passage and was released past my grateful and swollen anus...followed by the trundling down of more turds from deep inside my bowels. Relief, blessed relief that is the reason so many of us anally fixated people frequent this website...to hear about the motions of others.Teenaged Girl
to No Name Grrl:
I am a huge BSB fan and like you definitely would not mind accompanying anyone of them to the bathroom! Especially AJ McLean!Bryian
To Kimberley: That was an awesome last post, that u got to buddy dump with your boyfriend and then u did it in the bathroom. Way to go.