Carmalita
Thank you all for your friendly responses. I guess my stinky poops are funny, but they’re not always so bad. Renee tells me that I’m going to win the “lysol award”. I do have a lot of poops that aren’t so bad though.
Nicola: I don’t eat as much of the kind of food that would be expected of an hispanic diet. I try to stay away from a lot of traditional mexican food, because quite frankly, it either gives me “refried turds” (the runs), or enormous turds that hurt coming out. I eat a lot rice, chicken, and lots of vegetables. I also like italian food, and stir fry, and wine, and beer. As far as mexican food goes, I do love it sometimes. I grew up eating it. It’s the rich stuff that I indulge in that does it for me I think, like ice cream, or beer, or chocolate, and pizza. Pizza is my downfall. I also eat lots of fruit.
Bryian: I call those poops I did ‘cornball turds’, and I get them often. If you can still picture me on the pot, picture my face looking pained, because that one was a toughie!
Traveler: I hope you don't mind me saying this but I was very flattered that you bothered to send me a message in spanish. You must be a very romantic man. I’ll bet your wife is thrilled with you (if you’re married). I know I would be!! As far as scoldings go, it was always embarrassing. Oh well. You’d better tell me some of your good turd stories soon, I can’t wait!
Buzzy: Jim’s a nice guy, but he can be very irritating! We got into an argument, and he said I was acting like a “typical woman” which really pissed me off!!, so, we’re not speaking right now. It has to be fair, I can’t just do it for him all the time. Right? I’d rather do the phone pooping thing with you instead! I get excited over the idea of it. So hot!!! I’ll bet you do good long ones! I’d like to talk, and go “nnnyeahhhhh,...” as I crapped a big, long turd between my legs for you!
This is an embarrassing, but funny poop story. Another one on the old ‘stink-o-meter’! And this one is due to eating authentic mexican food at one of my favorite restaurants! I was at my neighborhood grocery store the other night, and accidentally farted by the grocery carts. Boy it was ripe! I knew then that I had to go pinch a big loaf before I did any shopping. Whenever I have a heavy load, I usually fill up with gas. The ladies restroom has 3 stalls, so I took the middle one. I got my jeans down to my ankles, and my panties up around my thighs, and got sat down. I spread my legs so I could open my butt more, but my jeans were kind of twisted around my ankles. I farted another poisionous one that could have dropped a charging buffalo. I then crapped out an incredibly big turd! I was so proud of it, even though it hurt like hell! I was in there grunting through clenched teeth, and I didn’t care who heard me because this one hurt! It was long, and took a long time to f! all out of me. I had wiggle my ass to get it to break off. Then it began to smell disgusting, because it was so long that it stuck partly to the side of the bowl! It looked like a big, brown dragon looking up me! when I looked at it, I was amazed! It was as thick as a large cucumber, and about 14” long before it broke off! I quickly flushed it, and stood up to look between my legs, as the giant, rock hard turd swirled in the bowl. It left a big brown stain on the side. I grunted hard, and another fat, healthy one ker-plopped, much softer though. It was so big around, it made a squishing sound as it squeezed slowly out, and stunk even worse than the first one did. It was hot too, and kind of burned. After a few more painful grunts, I crapped out some more turds. They were all very thick, and made a gross, stinky pile. Then it got worse. A woman with a little girl came in. They took the stall next to mine, and I could hear them in there. The woman set the child on the toil! et to pee. I heard her little girl say “it stinks in here mommy.” I then wiped good, and went out to wash my hands. Very thoroughly with lots of soap! The woman came out too, smiled politely, washed up, and led her little girl outside again. The little girl looked up at me frowning like I did something wrong and said, “You went poo-poo in here!”
Now for the topper! When I was in the check out line, the woman with the little girl came up behind me with her cartful of groceries. As she was unloading them, the little girl points at me and says real loud “That’s the lady that went poo-poo in there mommy!" I was so embarrassed!!! Then she did it again! “mommy, that lady did a poo-poo in there!” then the woman told her that was not polite, but people were grinning, especially the cute guy checker! a teenage girl was laughing too. He just shrugged and said to me “Kids, huh?” Now I’ll probably be known in that store from now on as the “Poo-poo lady.” I promise to tell a story about my pooping that dosen’t stink so bad, it had just been a bad day is all, lots of beans and cheese. But what amazes me, is where it all comes from! I only weigh 108 lbs! I must’ve crapped out 5 pounds of poop alone!
“Oh, what a wicked web we weave, when first we practice, to relieve.”
-Carmalita
Billy L
When I was six years old, I was hit by a car when I was getting the mail. A boy was riding his bike and fell while the car was passing. So the car hit me instead. My femor, the thigh bone was broken. I was in traction for about 2 weeks at the hospital. Becasue I was in traction, I could not get up. The first time I had to do a poo, I did not know what to do. I called the nurse (it was about an hour after my parents went home), and said I have to go potty. She said, just use the urinal. I said, how am I going to get my pooop in that? She said, oh, I will get you a bedpan. I said what's that? She said, you will see. In a minute she came back with a bedpan. We put my butt on it, and I made my poop. While I was going, she pulled a curtain around me. She gave me a roll of toilet paper and I wiped my butt. When I was done, she gave me some wipes to clean my hands. She washed the bedpan out, and put it in my night stand. After that, I just got the bedpan out when I had to go poop, an! d used it. I had a roommate, a boy who was recovering from a car crash. He was in the same boat, with a broken leg. When I was pooping though, I always made sure the sheets covered me, in case someone walked in. ONce, while I was pooping, one of my class mates and her little sister came in just after I started going. The little girl heard some crackling noise. SHe said what is that? I said I am making poops. The mom said, can I do anything? I said, I will be done in about a minute. Then I will call and nurse and she will take it away. A minute later, the nurse came in. The kids and hte mom left for a minute while I wiped my butt and cleaned my hands. The nurse took the bedpan. Then the people came back in. I said sorry about that. The mom said that is ok. My classmate and I started playing a game of checkers when the nurse brought the bedpan back in. The little girl said whats that. I said, it is a bedpan. It is was I use to poop in while I cannot get to the potty. She ok.
The only other incident came on the forth of July. There are fireworks you can see from the top floor of the hospital. When they came to get me to go up, I said I might have to poop while I am up there. They ok. The put the bed pan on the my bed. I pushed it under the sheets below my knew, which was up in the air. After the fireworks started, I had to poop. So I pushed the bedpan under my butt and let it out. It was not noisy, but you could here crackling noises. I think other people heard them, but did not know what they were. There was a little kid in diapers. He pooped right after me, so I thought it was him. When I was done, I took a towel that was there, put it over the bedpan so it would not smell too bad, and put the bedpan back under my brokem leg. I do not think that many people figured out what happened. While I was pooping, the guy who took me there had to leave for a few minutes. My brother was there, so it was ok. When he got back, I said I had to poop. I was ! quiet, but I am sure other people heard me. I said, we can wait until we get back downstairs to empty the bedpan. He that's ok, I can take it now. I said, ok. He took the bedpan out and emptied it. Some people were quite surprised that I made dookey right infront of them. The only thing was that I did not wipe my butt while I was up there. I waited until I got back to the room.
When we got ready for me to go home, my took my bedpan. It was not weird pooping in the hospital, but it wsa weird pooping in the living room, where I had to stay for a month while I had a cast on. I couldn't walk. And the cast prevented me from sitting on a toilet. So my mom and dad took care fo getting me the bedpan and cleaning it. My mom took care of my cousin who wsa like 2 at the time. He was learning to use the toilet. So mom would have me and him poop at the same time. I also used the kiddy potty in the living room (mom had an area where we wouuld go. She put some plastic done over the rug so that we would not get our poop and especially our pee on the rug). It was weird pooping and peeing there again. For the family, though it was no big deal. We were always open about our peeing and pooping, so doing it in front of them was nothing new. It was a little ackward when my friends came over and I had to poo. Once my mom left the house for about 10 minutes to go to a n! eighbor's. My freind bob was there. After she left, I got out the bed pan and said I have to go. He said he had to poop too. I said, poop on this, then I will poop. He made a huge poop. Then he went to the bathroom to wipe. Then I started to poop. I wiped myself and cleaned my hands with wipes. When mom got back, I told her I made my dookey. She ok. When she got the bed pan, she said, boy you really had to go. I said, yeah. I did not go in a few days.
When I got my cast off, I was real weak. it was weird getting help to the bathroom. It was real weird sitting on the toilet again. But after about 3 poops, it felt back to normal.
Melissa (New York)
Yo everybody how long has it been since last posted, hmmm, about half a year. Well I got a big promotion and now I will have a lot more time to post some stories. Let’s see, where should I start, some much has happened. Well recently well the day after Christmas to be exact, my husband Joe got in a pretty bad car accident in his Jaguar. He broke both his arms and severely burned both his legs. So after he was released form the hospital he has had to stay home ever since then. So I have to take care of him. Now I always have to take him to the bathroom but I don’t mind, since his whole arm is covered in a cast down to his hands, he needs a lot of help to got to the bathroom. I hardly ever see him go to the bathroom let a lone poop. So I have to take him in pull down his pants and place him on the bowl wipe and clean him but then again, I’m his wife and I love him. So now I see how much he produces, he can’t touch me in the size race but the size has increased. I reme! mber when he told me the max he could do is 5 or 6 inches. Well times have changed and he does 15 inchers. I’m pretty proud of him. So let me tell you about his most recent poop. This happened yesterday, I think about 3:15am. Joe woke me up and he told me that he needed to crap pretty damn bad. So I carried him in my arms into the bathroom, pulled down his pants and placed him on the toilet. Please note I’m tired as hell at this time and I keep fading in and out of sleeping. So first he took a long piss then he did a thunderclap of a fart. Then he leaned forward and started crapping. He first grunted then I asked him if he needed help. He said sure so I went behind him and I spread his butt cheeks apart. Then I saw the tip of his brown creation. It was pretty wide. He pushed and grunted but it looked like the piece of poop was in park. So then I needed to piss so I just went in the bathtub and pissed. But I forgot to take off my shorts and panties. So I was co! mpletely soaked. But then He called me back to help him. So I took my hands and spread his but cheeks apart again. Then he was pushing with all his might and it came out of park and it moved again. So he kept pushing with all his might and finally it came out. When it came out it was bobbing up and down. Then he took a deep breath and pushed again. Then he did a smooth 7 incher that landed softly upon the bigger one. The he pushed out some loose shit. He told me he was done. So I started to wipe his butt many times. Till it was squeaky clean. Then I took him back in the room to sleep. Then I had a good look at his load and I was pretty impressed. So then I cleared the toilet but before I flushed it, I took the toilet brush and broke up the 15 and 7 incher. Then everything went down without a hitch. I was so tired that I fell asleep in the bathroom. So when I woke up I need to make a load myself. So I just sat on the toilet and pushed and slid out a smooth 16 a! nd a half-inch piece of crap. I just left it there. So when I woke up I went to see how my injured husband was. He was up and he asked me to take him to the bathroom so I did. He said he needed to piss. So I took out he penis and I pointed it in the bowl. He made a long stream that lasted a couple minutes. He finished then I took some toilet paper and dabbed it dry.
When driving I see a lot of weird things but, nothing as weird as what I saw in November. I was on the LIE (Long Island Expressway) and there was a traffic jam. Well then I saw this man and women get out of their car and they headed behind some trees and bushes. Its apparent they didn’t go far enough because I could still see them. Then this man about 18 or so pulled down his pants and got in this crouching position. He first peed then it looked like water was literally flowing out of his ass. The women I guess who is his girlfriend did the same thing to. Water was literally flowing out of her ass to. Then they both returned to their car. And In my head I’m saying Oh my God they thought no one could see them behind the bushes.
I remember this hilarious thing happened to me. I was on the crapper and I forgot to lock my bathroom when my friend Ron from work was by my house. He accidentally walked in on me. I wasn’t mad at all. He said I’m so sorry but I didn’t mind at all. I told him you could stay if you want so he did. We were casually talking about politics and of stuff. After I was done, He asked if he could have a look. I said sure, knock your self out. He was like Wooooooooooooooooow. That was the biggest, widest, lumpiest piece of shit I have ever seen he said. He said it all makes sense to him now. Big woman, big pooper. I told him that wasn’t true sometimes. I said well you know my little cousin right? Well she has the ability to out poop someone 4x’s her size. I said it depends on your eating habits. See I eat a lot of vegetables, fruits, and grains and I am constantly working out and doing strength training. So I said it depends on numerous things.
You know how they have these model toilets out on display in hardware stores like Home Depot? Well it appears that little kids mistake them for real ones. This young boy about 5 or 6 apparently didn’t know this. He was sitting on there with his jeans down to his ankles in public with everybody watching him. His father had just steeped a way and when he came back, he threw a fit. He was yelling like hell at his kid. Then he took the kid of the toilet and pulled up his pants. Then he got some body who worked there to tell him what his son did. The person said mumbling under his own breath O my god shit gets worse. Then he made his son apologize. Then the father smacked his son hard on the head so many times, I lost track. I personally can understand his father being mad and all but he didn’t have to be so harsh. I mean he didn’t know better. He is just a kid.
More to come.
Melissaben
sandra
I really liked your post that is so cool
doing a poo in a phone box but why pretend to make a call
as you say you like talking to people ? any way I,m curious as to what syle of skirt
you wear when taking a poo . also have you ever done it in french knickers?
I would really like to know? I will think of some more to write on this later
D.M.Y !Mia
Anne(the bus driver)--I had the rest of my movement later that night and it felt wonderful! The urge hit hard and night and it came out easily.
Question: how do you people measure your logs?
Kim--LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Gruntly Bogwell--she must have one sore hole after that wide monster came out!John(VT)
Hi, everyone! Thanks for the kind words and encouragement!
I had one memorable session last week. I felt like I needed to go
rather late one night, and decided to hold it... (one hour, maybe?)
but it turned out I didn't need to go all that badly, so I eventually
went to bed without going. The next day, at work, it wasn't long before I felt that familiar urge returning (stronger this time, of course!, but still I ignored it, much preferring to wait until I could get home and enjoy it! The day passed rather slowly, and I was able to hold out, passing gas at random itervals (discreetly, of course!) When I was finally able to settle in at home, I felt FULL!
I couldn't even WALK fast! So I found my way to the toilet seat, and
slowly relaxed those tightly clenched muscles... WOW! My ring just kept widening as an absolute monster slowly crept out... all in one piece, this time, too! What a superb sensation! What a RELIEF!!
I showed it to my wife, who was rather impressed, too. It wasn't as long as I thought it would be, but we estimated it was probably about a foot long. But it was VERY wide, and solid. My wife got annoyed that it wouldn't flush after a couple of attempts (it kept
trying to go sideways, and wouldn't break apart), so I eventually
guided it manually... Voila!Mildred
I accidentally walked into the gentlemens restroom at JC Penneys department store. I was shocked that the stalls did NOT have any doors on them. I felt empathy for the gents that I invaded. But I was delighted to find locking stall doors in the ladies lounge :-(Adrian
Anne the bus driver - and my favourite poster! I'm glad you had a good post Christmas poo and I was interested to read about you doing it outdoors in the snow. Twelve inches long and two and a half thick - what a whopper! I bet that was the processed remains of your Christmas dinner. You must have felt rather chilly though. That said, you seem to have followed a trend amongst British posters this year as Tony and Theresea, George and Moira all seem to have done the same sort of thing. Going in the snow seems to have been the fashionable thing this year.
Often I tend to find that in the cold weather I have to wee more heavily than usual. Do you?
Some time ago I mentioned a soreness problem that I was having. Well, it seems to have cleared up for the time being although it seems to work better for me to wipe with ordinary paper and use the hackle wipes to finish off with from time to time.
I'll look forward to hearing about some more big sausages.
Happy New Year.
Regards
AdrianMr MIke
MELISSA - your story about your friend Yao was graeat . the amount of detail you gave was really good compared to what you used to do , so keep them comin !!! I'm lookin forward to themHi I just read your postings for the first time. to-day. Great stuff, there is nothing better than a good shit. I found this out by accident. I was taken to the hospital 4 years ago with severe lower amdonal pain, the exrays reaveled an obstruction in my lower intestine. Anyway to make a long story short, the obstruction was cleared and the Doctor discovered I had Diverticulitis ( indentations in the bowel) He told me I would have to take a fibre natural fibre laxative every day like Meimucial, there's cheaper products and they all work just as well. Not a day goes buy that I don't have a good shit. Jimmy
Buzzy
About the girl on the top of this page-hasn't she been on here before?I think so-
Another story from my holiday stay upstate NY-This girl Kim and I were getinng along super-almost every morning her and I after breakfast would go up to the toilets and she would go in to one and I the other and do our coffee-induced morning dumps-I could not get the nerve up to ask to be in the same room with her pooing, though-but it was still great. we would poo together and do the play by play thing too-It was such a turn on to hear this girl poo-it was esp fun when we would do our loads at the same time!Sometimes I would hear others pooing too-It was somtimes like a symphony of poop in the morning up there!
Then 3 days before i had to leave,this girl KIM had to back to Canada I guess to work-Too bad we had a great time.I don't know if we'll hook up again ,but One thing I've learned is not to expect too much so I just go on-Anyway one morning I really had to poo bad and I had to wait outside the toilet-When I finally got in there I sat down and exploded with all this loose coffee poo-uauallyI go in and wait for somone else to go in and poop ,but not this day!As i'm sitting there waiting for more poo to come out i hear 2 women go in to the toilet next to mine and they are talking about having to go-one says"Please let me go first-i really got to shit bad" and the other one says"OK but hurry up i gotta dump too" and then i heard the 1 firl sit down and fart loudly and i could hear the crackling of her turds coming out and it sounded like it was coming out fast and as she is going she says"Ohhh man,I gotta stop drinking too much of that coffee" and laughed.the other girl says "! Boy you really had to go huh?boy do you stink" and they both laughed.Then the girl on the bowl started to wip and the other girl says" hey hurry up,just get off the bowl and without flushing she got up cause i heard the other girl say" Wow,that's some load in there and then she sat down and let out a hissing fart and then I heard the 1st girl that went already say to h the girl on the bowl" hey let me see that bruise you got from that great faal you took yesterday "then I heard her move foreward I guess to show her girlfriend the bruise and when she did the 1st girl says kinda quietly and at this point I hear the 2nd girl on the bowl doing a lot of loose stuff and as it's splashing in the bowl,i hear the 1st girl say"wow you have a big bruise right on tyour buttock and by the way girl you stink with all this shit coming out back here" and they both roared with laughter.Then I heard the 2nd girl sitting on the bowl fart a wet one and some real loose stuff came out and I heard! her say "Hey stop looking at my ass" and the 1st girl says "Hey ,i'm just enjoying the view and besisdesi'm checking you for hemmeriods" and they both laughed again.This was really cool to listen to-I was loving every min of it!Then i heard the 2nd girl start to wipe and the 1st girl said" hey I got to go again,so get up " and then i heard the 2nd girl say" I'm outta here " and she opened the door and left.Then i heard the 1st girl sit on the bowl and do some loose poo with 2 big farts in between.Then I heard her grunt and moan.Then she moaned again and farted and then I heard nothing for about 10 secs-then i heard her exhale loudly and then she started to wipe-Then I thought to myself,hey maybe she just got off,but who knows-but that's what it sounded like to me-WOW what a turn on that was!Then she left pretty quickly and I wiped and left too-That was allmost the highlight of my stay there,but every morning i would hear someone poo and most of the time it was women and boy w! as that fun for me,i'll tell you!I'll have to go there again sometime!
Well,it's back home and i have fun just thinking about my adventures up there,but lately the last few days I've been feeling kinds stuffy in my ????-this somtimes happens to me when i'm eating a lot and i think i'm due for a good cleaning out-just feel stuffed-Well it 's off to the gym see you all BYE
whizzer
to Louise:
I certainly don't mind if you girls want to stand to pee..
It probably takes less time to do it that way and there are websites that address that issue and not in a sexual way at all.
I had not gone yesterday and had a very long log that was probably 15 inchesw long. Once in a doctors office I had to go and ended stopping up a toilet with a large log. they had 2 patient restrooms.
Melissa
To PV – I agree with you on the spreading trick, it really works wonderfully. Even if my poops are a little soft or mushy I don’t get dirty when I gently hold my cheeks apart. My girlfriend Yao did exactly the same at the airport just the other day and BTW, you described the way she hovered over the toilet perfectly. Lots of love - Melissa
To Chrissy – I loved your description of the flight attendant in the next stall. She had obviously been in there for some time sitting and waiting patiently for her poo to come out all on its own. She sounds a lot like me. Love you stories Chrissy, hugs and kisses from Melissa.Bill
Hi everyone!
Just a quick question this morning. For the ladies: Have any ladies had interesting experiences, when they had to take a urine sample. Was it difficult, or messy to pee in the little cup?Peeping Tom
I recall that a boy named chris pooped his pants.the teacher walk by and said "why didn't you go to the bathroom?" he didn't answer.
we all got out of our seats to have a look. I never understood how the poop could be all over his chair when he had blue jeans on.
can someone explain this to me. for years i thought of pooping
in my pants in a chair to find out but didn't dare.
BILLY L. how could seeing your dad and brothers turds make you have to go.
SANDMAN I have been get aroused by people haveing to go bad or have a
weting them self all my life. maybe alot of people are like that.Traveler
STUNNED GIRL - So, Michigan, huh? I was so hoping that unisex facilities are slowly catching on across the US, but I guess it's too good to be true. Nevermind Ally McBeal. Being offended by seeing men's privates in a restroom is one thing, but calling that "sexual harrassment" is a real stretch. Will these poor guys be prosecuted for "decent exposure"? Or maybe for discharging a concealed weapon in a public place! Shameful!! And to think that in some other places, women on their way to a stall routinely walk right past a row of guys using the urinals. Who cares? And if a women there used a urinal, I don't think anyone would be bothered. No one in those places cares who's in the next stall, either. You're there to do your thing like the next person. Maybe it's because the partitions and doors in some countries often come all the way down to the floor and are open only at the top. Whatever, we do have some topsy-turvey attitudes in the in the US don't we?
We'll miss your adventures with Mr. Hottie on the potty. You could always invite him over for a hearty, healthy dinner ;-) Don't be shy. After all, he knew you were listening to him and asked if you enjoyed it.
[[Moderator: I'm off topic now, but Re: Aren't Belize, Cuba and possibly Brazil and others exceptions to the "Spanish folk" steryotype?...
What we call Columbus Day in the US is the "Day of the Race" in Latin America because those peoples see themselves as a new mix of Amerindian, African, and Spanish or Portuguese, or even all of these and others. In diet and everything else, Latin America is more different from Spain than the US is from the UK, and there's a whole lot of variety within Latin America and the Caribbean, too, just like within Africa. Each Latin country has its own culture and customs, but they share some features. The "Hispanic" label is really too broad.
Belize was British Honduras, so some of its Amerindian population speaks English. Cuba, like the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, thinks of itself as Afro-Caribbean, once colonized by Spain. The Indians are remembered there, but the Spanish pretty much wiped them out (as happened in other places we know). Some say Brazil has the most exciting human mix in the Americas. Just check out the music and the action at Carnaval time in Rio!]]Actionman
TO KIM & SCOTT
Thank you for replying so fast!! I think the problem is that she is Not sexually aggressive... I'm always the one who has to bring up trying new stuff in our relationship. We do plenty of stuff together, but I always have to start everything, which makes it hard on me because I'm the type of person who likes a sexually aggressive person. Our non-sexual side of the relationship is fine though, because I'm also the type of person who just likes to cuddle and affectionate, and she is too!
I remember back in high school there was this sexually aggressive girl in my class that I liked, but she always had a boyfriend. One day in a lab science, I accidentally poured hot wax on her and I think it turned her on because she got mad and wound up biting my nipple really hard (with my consent, of course) But back to toilet talk....
TO EVERYONE ELSE
Constipation seems to be my life story right now. I don't know if it's because I don't eat much, or that it's really stuck back there. I took some laxitive last Wendsday and wound up with diareah on Friday from it. It was pretty bad, and explosive, but there just wasn't enough poop there like I used to do. I used to be able to crash out large logs a couple of years ago. Of course I have also cut back my eating habits since I've been fighting the "Battle of the Bulge" for years. I'm not grossely obese, but large enough that I have a big gut.
Now it seems that I only really poop every other week... Wierd. But the laxitave I took helped things along. I went twice today! Had to really push this morning for not much at all, and later I made 2 logs that were soft and about 4-6" long.
Later,
Actionman
Hal
Hello everyone! It's Hal again, and I just have a question for all the ladies on this forum. Though, considering you're on this forum in the first place, I guess you'll be a little biased on this, but here it goes. Are all you gals more attracted to a guy who's honest and open about the whole "bathroom" stuff, or not? Or, how about some of your friends who don't post on this site? Anyway, I would really appreciate it if you all would respond, and I thank you in advance.
Steve
To Lawn Dogs Kid,
Oh absolutely, the bond between Kendal and yourself is a very strong one, and it works both ways. I do consider myself extremely fortunate to be with Louise. Let me put it this way - at a time when my patience with the female of the species was very short, she convinced me not to be so bitter about the past. Lasting friendships are quite rare these days due to an increasingly mobile population. Don't allow distance to weaken what you have. Nurture that friendship with Kendal, it will be invaluable to you both in the years and decades to come.
To PV,
Interesting point you made about the wiping. Hello, by the way. Yes, I believe that in truth, you are right about how males might consider wiping after peeing. I would view it as another social custom of the type that Louise and yourself frequently debate on this forum. Whether a male should wipe his penis after urinating. Hmm, let me think about that for a moment... Possibly, as is often the case with Louise and her standing pees v squatting pees, the more hygiene conscious male could adopt the practice of wiping when in private, and not wiping when in a public toilet. Perhaps there would be implications there that would make it unwise to wipe in public. I have been in some supposedly social situations were wiping the penis would be a complete and total no-no. Some guys would think that the guy doing the wiping had some kind of discharge, or infection. Challenges to so called masculinity could be issued, particularly by the younger element while inebriated. I don't think ! many straight guys would be too happy about that. In addition, such a situation could quickly escalate and the offender may not let it go, continuing to press it to reinforce his own mistaken sense of superiority. I would probably find it best not to invite trouble in the first place.
In private, however, it could be completely different, and yes, most pleasurable if the right lady is involved as well! I think she enjoys it at least as much as me!
I hope you won't forget my old post in which I described being ambushed by Louise's friend Jackie in my own bathroom. I look forward to your comment on that!
Bye for now,
Steve.
Kendal
Had a lovely weekend away at Granny and Grandad's house. Nice poo on Saturday night, only two pieces, but they made a huge splash in Grannie's high toilet with the furry seat ! When Grandad took me to meet Dad half way home, I had a lovely surprise because Andrew had come with him as well. So I was able to cuddle up to him all the way home !
Dad wouldn't let me on the computer last night, part of my punishment for being naughty last week ! But it means that I've got behind with everyones posts. I hope I don't forget anyone !
LOUISE: I still haven't had my stand-up wee yet, but I will ! Dad doesn't have a funnel, and I can't think of anything elase that I could measure my wee in. Never mind, I'll ask Andrew if he's got anything I could use ! Love Kendal xx
STEVE: You're welcome !! Hey, wasn't Dad's post a huge surprise. I nearly died on the spot, but I'm so glad he did write now ! Love from Kendal xx
KATE: Any luck on getting to watch Matthew go ? He ought to let you see really, especially as he often goes in when you do it ! But then it doesn't always work out like that. Your posts have been wonderful to read. I thought I wouldn't dare do some of the things you do, but then I have been known ! Andrew says to read his post on old posts page 378. That is the one where he tells the story of what I did on Uncle's car ! Go read it, and let me know what you thought ! Love from Kendal xx
KEVIN: GRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!
GEMI: I felt so sorry to read how you don't have anyone to share your interest. It just goes to make me realise how very lucky I am. I hope that one day you will find that special person.
KIM: Thank you, thank you, thank you ! It's made me feel so much better to see that you have forgiven me ! Love from Kendal xx PS I didn't know about boxing day either. My cousin is very clever isn't he ?
KEV: I cried when I read about the accident to Ellie. I do hope that she is getting better now. Tell little Lou that she should post if she wants to. It doesn't matter about her spellings. I for one would love to hear from her ! Oh yes, and I'm with Andrew. I'd love to hear a story about you having to take Ellie to the toilet and look after her. You are such a kind and lovely brother. Take care, love from Kendal xxx.
LAVINIA: Welcome back again. I see you've really got to know what Andrew likes to read ! I bet he loved your last stories ! The one you told about the boys next door. Couldn't you have used their toilet, or is it that they would have made you let them see you on the toilet and you didn't want that ? I liked the poo in your panties story as well ! Take care, love from Kendal xx
DM: I've never heard of cadre, so being a resourceful girl, I've checked my dictionary. It says "A basic unit, especially of servicemen" and "a group, or a member of a group of activists in a communist or other revolutionary party" ! Are you saying that me and my friends are a bunch of loony lefties ? ( Or have I got my hands mixed up ?! ). I certainly feel very special to have so many people write to me !
NICOLE & SUZY: So what wonderful scenario have you two cooked up recently ? Andrew is looking forward to doing a demonstration wee for you. Would you both like that ? Look forward to your next story. Lots of love from Kendal xx
LINDA: Thank goodness you're not hiding ! I thought Dad had scared you away for ever ! And I look forward to forming a toilet ring with you and your baby sisters ! We have nappies over here called Pampers. That is not the same as pampies is it ? Definitely not, so there, Kevin GRRRRRRRRRRR !!! Hey, I'm also looking forward to our future girly chat ! If that movement of yours doesn't come along soon, I can see that you will have to lend me your cheerleaders uniform !! Write again soon. Love you loads, love from Kendal xxx
Louise
LAWN DOGS KID - Hi guy! Well of course you are both lucky
to have each other, you and Kendal.
Oh yeah, I asked Steve if he too got chased under the
mistletoe by girls at Christmas. He just smiled really
slyly at me so I bet that means there were lots of them.
Sure, I do sit down to wee quite a lot really. I only
ever sit down on our own toilet at home and the one at
my mum's, and Steve is always interested to see that.
If I am weeing in a toilet somewhere else I usually
just hover above it.
I hope your cold is better. *Now* I bet they all want to
kiss you!
STUNNED GIRL - Those 2 women do not know what sexual
harrassment really is. You are right, it was pathetic.
SARA T - Hi. Yeah, the poolside weeing was a lot of fun
to do. I mean I bet we never get the chance to do something
quite like that again so we made the best of it.
PV - Hi! Steve laughs when he remembers my name writing
in the snow. Maybe from where he was it was more a funny
thing than anything else. It does make me grin too when
I think about what happened after that!Oh yes there was
a lot of steam from the ground. It was my first wee of
the day as well, so it was quite strong and concentrated
and looked really yellow against all the bright white
of the snow. My legs were frozen!
I think my Scottish friend was a bit curious about us
going to the toilet together. I know she was not against
it because she was asking us questions without finishing
them like "do you and Steve go in and pee..." and "do you
look at each other when you ...". I bet she never did
anything like it in her life because she said she has
never let any guy see her in the toilet. She was a bit
shocked that we shit together too. I think she is a lady
who never stood and had a pee and I did not tell her
how I often do it like that. LOL I giggle to think how
maybe her face would have looked if she had seen Steve and
I standing on the edge of her pool weeing into it.
No LOL I did not do any logs on New Years Eve, Yule or not!
Oh it was really icy in that alley. I like it better in
the warm weather. Those girls who waved at Steve had short
skirts on (well they were pulled up but you could tell they
were little short ones)!
That standing wee in your back lawn sounded really nice!
That is the weather I like to have when I do that. A nice
cooling breeze at night after a warm day. That really is
brilliant.
Oh yeah, I liked using the bucket by my friend's pool. It
sure does mount up when there have been about 8 or 9 wees
into it. I know Steve liked watching me squat over it!
Guess how I could tell!
I liked your story from the beachside toilet block. Yeah it
is hard work to get clean if you pinch on a soft turd before
it is all out. I like Steve to help me with that because he
can see back there and I am sure I am cleaned up then.
I had a bit of a messy one a few days ago about a couple of
hours before we went to bed. I had been gassing a bit
before and I knew that it would be a pretty wet and messy
crapping session. Steve went in the bathroom with me and
I made a really loud gurgling sound. I pushed and lots of
brown slop started sliding out of my bum. Steve took ages
cleaning me up after that. When we did go to bed I was
curled up with my back to him just for a while and I gassed
him because I let out a long fart and he had his face under
the bedcovers. His head shot up into the fresh air LOL. I
bet it blows away the romantic feeling!
Love,
Louise.
Tex
Here's something that I have been doing my whole life, tell me if I'm crazy: Usually when I poop, I will lift the seat up, and sit directly on the bowl. I've found it always seems to make my poops come out much more satisfyingly and much more completely than if I sit on the seat. Also, it reduces that annoying splashing by about 90%. I know that seat is there for a reason (and I will use it if the edge of the bowl is soiled), but has anyone else ever tried this and found this same thing, or is it just me?
(Thanks for your responses to my last post, BTW. I'm going to try to wait longer before I drink water after my workout, but sometimes it's tough when you're thirsty).DM
To the Moderator: Great new picture. I wasn't fond of the previous shot, and apparently others weren't either...
To PV: Good to hear of your successful standing poop session. I've never fully stood when pooping, just out of fear that I'll get a huge splash as the reward. Being a guy, however, standing to pee has never been a problem!
To Kim & Scott: More, please!
To someone whose name I've forgotten: What's the deal with black turds? This seems like a pursuit that is best left to chance.
To all our international friends: Wow, there's a real worldwide interest in this site, isn't there? From the States to the UK, to Australia, to Greece, and even India. (But India only once or twice -- what happened to that?) Lovely to hear of all these worldwide poop and pee exploits.
To Billy L: Wow, that's a lot of fecal matter in one post! But the rambling, day-to-day story was great to read. Thanks!
And for everyone: Have a great week!
Tony
PPG I installed the side by side toilet pans myself as I am good at do it yourself plumbing etc. It was quite easy with modern pipework. Theresa and I both sold our separate dwellings when we got married and bought a large old house. There was a downstairs cloakroom toilet which we have left for ordinary visitors etc and upstairs there were 4 bedrooms, one next to the existing bathroom. I knocked down the wall and thus made a far larger bathroom. The modern toilet pan and suite were scrapped and I installed a retro suite in good old white Victorian style fittings. I was going to fit a bidet next to the toilet pan then thought, why not fit another pan instead? The plumbing was easy with modern fittings, just extend the wide plastic soil pipe and the copper cold water feed to a second cistern and now you have it. Theresa and I can sit and do our motions side by side! Close friends such as George and Moira have used and enjoyed this novel feature. If you think about it this is no! different to having two WCs side by side in a work, school or public toilet only there is no partition between our's of course. Perhaps this idea will catch on?
PV many men, myself included DO dry the end of their penis after a wee wee these days, both the glans and if uncut as most non Jewish and non Islamic Brits tend to be, the foreskin as well. It is far more comfortable and stops staining the underwear and nasty pissy smells.
Eric, Imodium is taken as a cure for diarrhea but I dont think it makes the stools black. As Anne suggests, try eating black pudding or taking charcoal tablets, that's vegetable charcoal tablets from a pharmacy or health food store NOT mineral charcoal from a drysalters! Avoid Iron tablets unless you need them as overdoses of these can be harmful.
Im glad the spooky woman has been replaced at the top of the masthead. I think if I saw her sitting on the pan when I entered the toilet I would make a huge bulge in my underpants! The black girl who replaced her seems more user friendly as far as I can see!
Monday, January 08, 2001