Althea
Carmalita: I like the story in the community center women's room. I went to school in one of those old places. I think I know where it is located. We had doors on our stalls. I have seen doorless stalls. Once they had doors. But, I see where they were removed from their hinges.
Shanice: I used to take my little boy cousins to the toilet with me. That is how we are close to this day. The youngest is 14 years younger than me. I once had my kid cousin at my house. He spent the day watching me playing tennis in summer college session. We returned home. Later, in the afternoon I felt the urge to rest my bowels. I told him I had to use the toilet. He saw my comic book in my hand and he followed me. I lowered my gray tennis shorts and white cotton FOL's to my ankles. I evacuated five long pieces of doo-doo. He could hear and could see. My legs were spread. Then, I urinated for 30 seconds. The kid was talking about me blow by blow. He said, "Althea, you're making 'ca-ca doo-doo'." Then there was more. Two more 3" pieces evacuated. He said, "Wow, 2 more pieces of 'ca-ca doo-doo' plopped down!" I reached for his head and petted him. Then, I let out a vibrating 10 second fart. He said, "You made seven pieces of 'ca-ca doo-doo'." I asked him where he learned! that word. He told me at school there are a lot of Spanish kids and they meet in the bathroom. He reached for the toilet paper for me to wipe my pussy and my rectum. When I stood up, he looked in the bowl and said he only makes one or two long pieces, or some little handfuls.
DP: As soon as you get cramps, head for the toilet. You just got caught short. No need for diapers. Better safe than sorry.
You guys: Tonight is the first in the Althea Internal Cleansing Regimen. I drank water, with Vitamin C, psyllium and three herbal laxative tablets. Tomorrow, I will open my daily act with a hot cup of Golden Seal tea. I will tell you how I evacuate.
Ben
I'm back. I haven't posted for a while but I've kept up with the posts.
To the other Ben: That took guts to crap your pants at school. And in front of that girl.
To Upstate Dave: The outhouse expedition is pretty cool and original.
To guy aka: Nice story about going to the public pool. I personaly hate it when people crap in a urinal.
Well thats all for now
More Later
Mr. Noname
Hi Everyone!
A few comments to get to.
BUZZY--In fact getting the pics developed hasn't been a problem at all. I think it depends on where you develop them. In this case, the local photo shop sends them out to a lab in a larger town. They get developed and a day or two later they are sent back to the store where I pick them up. They never take down my name or phone number when they give me the claim check, and I always get all the pictures back. Once years ago I took some "risque' photos (though not of anyone dumping) and one shop wouldn't print them, so I had to ask around until I found a shop that was willing to do it. When I was in Japan I remember seeing a magazine once at a newstand that showed amatuer pictures of girls pooping. It was kind of weird, but I guess the idea was you could take pics of your girl pooping and send them into the magazine for publication. I wouldn't go that far myself, but obviously even in a country like Japan developing and even printing such photos doesn't seem to be much of a p! roblem.
MICHELLE IN LOUISIANA--Sounds like a funny game you described. I'll have to get my girlfriend to try it with me some night after we've stoked up on the beans and lentils! Oh, now I remember another farting "game". My sister used to date this guy in high school who came from a large family of jocks. He would share a room with one or two of his brothers. The brothers would play this game called something like "Cheek Sneak" where whoever woke up first would creep over to the others still sleeping and put his ass cheeks as close to the face without waking him and then let loose with a huge fart. Pretty nasty, huh? They even had different techniques for it like the "left cheek sneak" and the "right cheek sneak" depending on which side of the bed they were approaching from.
JON--Interesting. I didn't know about "fart" existing in the Scandinavian languages as "speed", but now that you mention it, it makes me think a little of the German word "Fahrt" (a slight change in spelling, however) which means something like "trip" or "journey". I remember my high school German teacher trying to explain to our giggling class what the word correctly meant!
My girlfriend came home from work yesterday and felt a dump inside her, but didn't feel the need to evacuate right. It was only later when we were "messing around" that she realized an evacuation would be necessary to make it comfortable. I didn't feel like dumping myself, so I prepared the paper just for her. She squatted nude over the paper and began pushing. It was a bit tough to start, but after a few minutes of grunting, she managed to squeeze out small pellet. In any case I could see that the turd was wide and knobilly. It stretched her ring which refused to budge open any more than it had to, so the poop began to fall out in little dark chunky pellets, held together by lighter colored strings. It was kind of cool to watch, and I wished I'd had a video camera. I'll have to try and get my digital camera re-installed on my PC and use it! She pushed out just a small pile of these chunky pellets which gave off a mild, but somewhat stimulating aroma. I was pretty excited! after that session! Anyway, I'll be anxious to see what this afternoon brings.
Hey, I've got a question for all of you. I think we've discussed which foods give us gas, or make us have soft, runny poops, or which make us have monster dumps, but what foods make us constipated, if it's even possible to become constipated by ingesting certain foods? In my case, virtually nothing constipates me!
That's all the news I have for today. More to come. Keep the great posts and the good dumps coming!ME
Sick boy: Ouch, I know you're in pain buddy. YOu ever try a glycerin suppository....they work very well, and prompt. Just be sure to put ti in as far as you can, than you simply wait until the urge to go is real strong. the longer you retain it the better it works. Give them a try man, you will be able to go for sure than. Let me know how you make out.Michelle from Louisiana:
i take Fibercon. It really works in 2 minutes. I am 31 yrs old. One year ago i was in hospital for gastroenteritis. I had a lot of gas and felt some bowel movements and could not go. When that happend my ca ca were really really large, hard and lumpy. To make my ca ca move I had to eat 3 or 4 bananas. The bananas made my ca ca come out really easily.
JW
Linda GS-- Hi sweetie hope your feelilng better. Somehow I missed your
post altogether and only found it when going back to look for sometihng else. Please tell us about the poop you almost regretted taking.- JW
Lawn Dogs Kid
RJOGGER: I loved that story about your vacation and what happened with your Dad's friend's wife's nieces ! Excellent.
PLUNGING PLOP GUY: Kendal says she did enjoy her holiday, thank you. I've never enjoyed a plop at Kendal's Grannie and Grandads. I've had a few wees, and somehow it seems more hygenic weeing into a high toilet. The splash back tends to remain inside, because afterall, I still pee downwards from the same height ! I didn't stay with Kendal. Her Grannie and Grandad have always been a bit funny about that. So Kendal and I prefer to keep the status quo. Steve, Kate, Emily and Thomas are always happy for me to stay with them while Kendal visits her Grannie and Grandad. So thats what I do !
UNCLE RIZZO: That was so funny, calling your gadget "The Kendal". Kendal went so red when she read what you said. She had this vision of riding along on the roof of your car with some string tied round her leg, so that when you pulled it, she knew she had to start peeing down your screen !! Superb ! We are both looking forward to the house-full, beginning the weekend after this one. Actually, Kirsty will be here the friday night, while Kate and Emily arrive Saturday afternoon. Maybe Kendal, Kirsty and I will manage some "time" together !! Take care my friend, love Andrew.
UPSTATE DAVE: Glad the story told so well by Kendal made you laugh ! It made me laugh some more when I'd read what she had written ! I'm enjoying the out house serialisation by the way !
LINDA GS: GRRRRRRRRRRR !! Don't you dare take any notice of Kendal, showery shorts indeed !!! Hey babe, how did you enjoy the adventure Kendal and I had ? Had any more good poops or pees you can tell us about ? What about the diapers ? I've been waiting for you to tell how you've changed Kendal's nappy for her, just so I can look at Kendal (here) and ask when it was she started wearing them again !! Hope you and all the household are keeping well. Love from showery shorts XOXO !
MALITA --
You said:
"PV: Thank you so much for such a lovely note! We love you too, and so many people here. I've often thought about you, and still do. But that description of yourself! Holy guacomole!!! Jeez what a heartbreaker you are! I think if you'd have shown up dressed like that, the men would have followed you right in there! Visualizing you like that gives me more than a thrill! I'll bet you have soft, white skin like Renee."
It's the Celtic genestock, darling -- pale skin, red hair, and an Irish demeanor!
Heartbreaker? I'm melting with gratitude here! I've never actually worn such an outfit, especially amongst company -- but I'd sooooo like to! What a venue that evening was for such an adventure, you still have me panting with amazement at the veritable cinemascope (enemascope? hee-hee!!!!) spectacles in the ladies' room. That'll be an iconic performance in my memory for a long, long time.
Likewise your little tease show for Jake -- I really enjoyed that! He is one of this world's luckier men, if his appreciation is anything like the scope of this gal's...! (You know, it was the rocking horse that really impressed me too. It was such a lovely thing for him to do, a gift from the heart and an artistry that is rare today. Keep hold of him, Malita, he's one of those few gems that pass through this world.)
Happy poops, my dear latina friend,
PVpboy
Here is another story from when I was a camp medic. One morning I had a kid about 14 and his father come in from the trail camp. This is a camp where the scouts camp at various sites around the lake. The kid looked filthy. The father explained that his son had diarrhea. That is when it dawned on me what the filth was. He explained that his son could not even get his shorts down before he let go. The kids legs, shirt and shorts were covered in poop. I asked the kid how he felt and he said that he did not feel that bad he just could not control when he pooped. I then asked what he had taken and they said some pepto. So we go him dosed up on anti-diarrhea meds and I called the doctor that was covering us for the week. He said to continue the meds, push the fluids and examine him to be sure that he did not have appendicitis or any bleeding. The appy exam I could handle, but had to ask about the bleeding (I was not sure I knew what he was asking). He said that I either! needed to do a rectal on the kid or bring him in to the hospital (about 30 min away). I told the doc that I did not believe the kid could make it without having an accident. He then told me to do it or put him in a diaper and bring him in. Well I told the kid and his father what the doc had said and they understood that was what we had to do. I told them that we did not have to do it right away. I suggested that the kid go down and shower up first. About this time the kid groaned and started pooping again. Soft, almost water, poop started running down his thighs. At the same time he started peeing. This was a good sign to me letting me know that he was not too dehydrated. The kid started apologizing and I told him that I knew he could not help it. I then suggested that we get his clothes off of him and down to the shower. I threw his clothes in the wash and we took the kid to the shower (he did have a towel on). Just as the kid stepped in he started pooping again! . We got it and the kid hosed down and back up to the infirmary. The appy exam and rectal went fine with the kid pooping a little during the rectal. We did end up putting the poor guy in a diaper so we would not have to clean up the mess everytime. After a few hours he did stop pooping. He stayed with me for two days while he recouped with out any more problems.Eric
Had an unusual day. Went to my local Walgreen pharmacy and noticed that they had enemas on sale. Well, I'd always wanted to try an enema, but never had the nerve. I bought a few of them and tried them when I got home. First, I went into the bathroom and removed all of my clothes, inserted the enema in my anus and squeezed. After I emptied the enema, I could feel a slight pressure, almost as if I had diarreah. But, I held it. I decided that I would try another enema, since these enemas were small. I slid the opening of the enema in and squeezed out the contents. Then I stood up. I felt a noticeable pressure. Also, I noticed that I had an erection, which I thought was strange. Maybe it was because my prostate had been aroused and it caused the erection. Anyway, the pressure got more intense until I couldn't hold it anymore. I sad down on the toilet and let loose. It was like a brown lumpy stream, probably 75% brown water and 25% turd pieces. It was so satisfying. ! I continued to sit on the pot for a few minutes and then another wave came. Another brown lumpy stream. After that, I got in the shower to clean up myself. I had been in the shower for a few minutes when I felt a great urge to fart, or so I thought. I relaxed my hole expecting a gush of "toxic" air to come out, but instead another brown, rocky river came out. I'd never shit in the shower before, it was so cool seeing the waste disentigrate and go down the drain as the water pummeled it. And I felt so clean and refreshed knowing that my bowels were cleaned out. It's amazing how much poop you have inside your small intestine even when you don't feel the need to go to the bathroom. This was my very first experience with a fleet enema and I'd like to try it again. I've heard that it's not good on your system to do it too much, lest your body become dependent on them. How long should I wait before I do it again? I've got two left, and after they are gone, I doubt I'll do! it again anytime in the near future.
Anybodt else seen that Zenith big screen TV
comercial where the guy totally pisses his pants
big time. I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw
it. Could someone explain it to me. I don't get
it. Any coments about the comercial. I was
blown away. Rev.Roger
Hey, yall:
It's I, Roger, the Texan-boyfriend of my Texan-girlfriend, Angela. To the lady who posted on here, about how "sick" it was, for her boyfriend to touch her crap; I could not disagree w/ you more. I mean I have touched my girl's crap on numerous-occasions (you can't help it, if there is a mess in the bowl that needs to be broken up w/ a plastic miniblind-rod!), and see nothing wroong w/ it, @ all. I mean, as long as you know the person (if they are your significant-other, I hope you know them well), and know them to be free of diseases, and what-not, what's the harm in doing this? I think that it goes hand in hand, w/ the privilege of actually being able to see your significant-other, during their most-private moment, which, in and of itself,is a privilege that is denied to most-people, especially-guys. Touching their crap, etc is fine. The line is crossed, however; when you try to taste it, &/or eat it! As long as you don't go that far (which would be most! -inappropriate for this forum), everthing else is fair-game!
With that being-said; I want to repeat, how I believe that being allowed to experience the BM's of your significant-other, is better than having sex w/ said-person. Angela & I are in-agreement about this. How many of the rest of you here (especially-guys), agree w/ us? Just-curious!
Take it easy, yall,
Roger
Plunging Plop Guy
Hi, Everyone!
CD, Interesting diary of yours with the times and details of your performances. I noticed you are much more likely to go afternoon or evening rather than the morning, which is how I used to be until recent years. you've certainly had a variety of different types of shits, and I was interested in the one that took about 10 minutes to do, a constipated knobbly log. Did you enjoy doing it or was it painful?
You mentioned having a tendency to 'roids from too much wiping, so hope pushing that big solid one out didn't cause any problems.
They're the type I'd like to do with a satisfying feel of doing something really big, then relieved, and having a clean arse after, that got soaked with an almighty splash!
SAN D Thanks for the explanation about the raised seat. If the light is strong enough, it must be brilliant to be able to see the guy's buttocks and thighs hanging down, and if it's really high enough; his turds sticking out and dropping, so you can anticipate the plops!!!
I wonder if irrespective of one's physique; the thighs and buttocks always hang down the same amount, or whether it varies.
I suppose if someone were to be slightly-built, there would be less support from the seat and so more would be hanging down, and a very well-built guy would have his thighs more centrally supported by the seat and so less flesh would be visible under the seat.
Sounds like the basis of a fascinating scientific study!
I too would certainly make the most of being watched, and would keep standing up to look at what I'd done and let the other guy see what I'd been dropping! I really enjoy your posts.
MICHELLE, You asked for details of how the public toilets in Britain are arranged, by which I assume you mean the layout.
I appreciate being asked as I perhaps am, to an extent, an authority on that subject although I've not been to every city, town and village here, and there may be lots of surprises for me as regards layout in toilets I've yet to see!
I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I've visited a lot so I've probably got a very good idea on toilets in general.
Public toilets, or public conveniences as they're also commonly known, and never bathrooms or restrooms, have one thing in common with few exceptions; They have the entrance in such a way as to avoid the interior being visible to people outside.
As for the men's, or "Gent's" as they're usually called; as soon as you get inside, the layout of the urinals, wash-basins and cubicles (cubicles are what we call stalls) can be in various layouts, but if there are several cubicles, they will usually be in a row, and could be facing wash-basins, urinals, the wall or perhaps another row of cubicles. The cubicles ALWAYS have doors, and partitions, but the height of the doors are usually sufficient to prevent anyone seeing in except for a gap of a few inches maximum from the floor, although sometimes the gap can be upto 18" very occasionally, and the partition gap usually upto 9" max.
Both door and partition are usually about 6' high from the floor, but sometimes the door might be only about 5' high and it's possible to look in.
Older toilets are quite deep, and usually have a black plastic seat, or sometimes you might find one with a wooden seat, and the cistern is usually low level with a handle, but there a lot with high cisterns and chains.
TP can be strong, crinkly, or the soft stuff on a toilet roll holder, a large dispenser like a drum, or in a box of loose tissues left on the cistern or missing altogether.
At the sinks, cold water is guaranteed, hot water is usually available in most toilets except rather run-down ones, and whether paper towels or a working hot air hand dryer is available will be variable.
Most toilets are free to men, sometimes a charge of 10 pence for women, a coin in the slot on the door, or a turnstyle at the entrance if a charge is made, and there may be attendants in the larger urban public toilets, and others will have a room for cleaning materials and have cleaners calling throughout the day.
Cleanliness is variable but in my experience, more often dirty conditions due to dirty people using and abusing them rather than a lack of cleaning maintenance by the local authority.
That's basically my brief assessment of the interiors in general; the locations are often in new shopping centres and precincts, LOTS in seaside towns especially near the shore, in market places, parks (often discretely hidden by shrubs in older parks) and many older ones are underground.
Often lit by electric light or with small windows, very gloomy or well lit; with stainless steel toilets and urinals or ceramic; tiled walls, or formica fittings, and also the same general descriptions can be applied to toilets in department stores also.
Not far from here a few years ago the local authority closed down a public toilet, and a lady leased it from the council and re-opened it to the public with a 20pence coin-in-the-slot outer door.
A unique bit of privatisation, I think, but the venture only lasted a few months before being closed down again due to being uneconomic to continue.
Naturally, if two people go together one will hold the door open for the other and so reduce revenue, and as there are shrubs nearby, if a guy wants to pee, he's quite tempted to go fo free!
Anything else you want me to tell you, let me know, but I hope there may be others who can tell us more about toilets that I've yet to learn!
I've certainly learned a lot about toilets in the USA since I found this forum, although I'm not too clear about whether the toilets in Canada are as "Open" but apparently the Canadian toilet pans are more like the best of our older type; deep and good for plopping in!
SCOTT, I thought that was brilliant the way you turned the tables on those trying to humiliate you in your predicament of needing TP and being very vulnerable, then in the end, they were the victims of their own joke.
The way you handled that was the way to overcome most forms of intimidation, even blackmail; by showing them you're not ashamed, they've nothing to threaten you with.
To walk with head held high past them and what you said to them paradoxically would have made me very keen to see you on the toilet, not in the way they were regarding it as being humiliating for you, but so I could admire seeing a guy on toilet who's asserting his dignity and self-respect and isn't going to take any shit from anyone.
It's great the way you told them they must be very sad to need to get their kicks by seeing a guy on a toilet, but I and many others would enjoy that; what I wouldn't be doing is regarding you as a figure of fun and being disgusted at your difficulties.
I'd like to have brought you a roll of TP and told the rest of them to f... off and grow up.
I bet no-one even dared to look at you next time you went, but were probably very respectful and looked upto to you after that!
I think the moral might be- Always carry some TP with you, enough for an emergency!
Someone mentioned here recently; flexing the muscles of the buttocks when pushing out a turd.
I used to think that when pushing out a wide one, the buttocks would be slightly pushed apart while on the toilet, but a few years ago when I was in public toilet and made one of my rare observations at another guy, and no, I'm not in the habit of doing this, I saw this young guy sitting on the toilet next door, wearing jeans and a hard hat, and with his elbows on his knees and leaning forward, he was definitely trying to go. I can't remember how much I heard, but I noticed how his buttocks visible above the seat were definitely being flexed as he tried to drop one.
I'd not realised that happens when pushing, and was in awe of sharing in his very private efforts, and while I was intruding, felt terrific rapport with him and respect.
A violation of his privacy, or perhaps like the other guy I mentioned, he might not have been bothered, but when he wiped up, flushed and walked out, to get my own arse on that warm sweaty toilet seat was ecstasy! I sat there and flexed my own buttocks like I'd become one with him!
That's it for today, Let it all hang out! P P G
Louise
JULIE - Hi girl! Steve is really busy just now and he is a little bit
pissed off, but I bet he will like your latest letter. Well I did not
think your mum would want to try standing for a wee but she has done.
It maybe she thought it was a daring and exciting thing to do and I
think Steve is right, most of our mums' generation would think it was
really odd and just would sit and wee like they do all the time.
Oh yeah it is great to be open about weeing with your mum, I have not
known it any different than that with mine.
When you are aiming, are you using your fingers in an upside down V
to splay yourself and open up a bit. Did your mum do it too? If you
forgot that bit then maybe it is why your aims were not too good. You
should both try it that way because maybe you will get it wrong if you
just push your puss down without splaying. Oh and it helps if you
I will tell Steve you have written to him, I just know he will be
cheered up by your letter. Love, Louise x
CARMALITA - Hi! Well that was a hot story, you dressing for Jake and
letting rip like that. I bet Steve will like reading about your long
pee and then your brown pollution. I bet he would like to be your
guard like he is Julie's but you have Jake to do that now and he
sounds like he is good for you.
KENDAL - Oh yeah, it is like PV says, you are in the girz club, the
WSPC. There will be plenty of standing pee practice and stuff.
I did like your big wee you had on that whicker chair and it was
very funny about Andrew. Love Louise x
PV - Hi! Oh yeah thank you, my ankle is a lot better already. It has
lost a lot of the swelling this week and I hated having that fat ankle.
I have been giving it a lot of rest but it is still hurting if I am
not careful. It will still take a bit before it is fully healed I
think. I can still stand and pee if I put my weight on my right foot
but I do not dare use my left too much for that.
You know what I would like to do? That would be to do just what you did
and go and use a urinal because I really liked your stories of when
you used them. I wish I had a nice clean disinfected urinal to go
and stand in front of. I had a sitting wee before I started writing
my letter, and I pulled my jeans and knickers down and just sat there
because it was just easier than if I tried standing with my jeans
around my thighs. When I get my left foot taking its weight then I
could do it with my jeans on but it is hard just now. On Wednesday I
tried standing on my right leg with my jeans down and it nearly made
me trip up and fall down because I was trying to aim with my fingers
and keep my jeans up around my thighs at the same time. It was not
easy and I pissed on the floor and on the rim of the toilet. You
know I will need to try it again.
I will tell Steve you have written your letter. I bet he will like
your hug! LOL
Love,
Louise.
Tony
Scots Tony here.
Michelle from Louisiana. British Public Toilets, and I will include toilets in shopping malls, pubs etc in this listing, vary from really first class to diabolical.
The really good toilets have an attendant on site, usually in a little office or room off to the side. He or she keeps the toilets clean, replenishes supplies of toilet paper, soap, paper towels, mops up any spillages, unblocks clogged toilet pans, and prevents vandalism and gives an element of security to the users. The toilets are dry, clean, all have doors on the cubicles (stalls) which have bolts, hot and cold water in the the handbasins.
The diabolical public toilets do not have an attendant. These are often found in public car parks, both open and multi-story and in run down areas. They are wet, dirty, smelly, the cubicles nay not have doors, not intentionally as in the USA but as a result of vandalism. The doors probably wont bolt shut. The floor will be wet and if a Gents toilet the smell of stale piss and ammonia from the urinals will be breathtaking. You will be lucky to have even cold water for the washbasins. Often druggers taking a fix or homosexuals "Cottaging" will be found there. Only a place to use if you are in immenant danger of pissing or shitting your underwear and even then you would think twice!
Luckily most UK public toilets fall someway between the ideal and the toilet hell. I will describe a typical public toilet in the UK. Note that here Public Toilets are still segreagated according to Gender with Men and Women having separate facilities. The Unisex Public Toilet is still a way off although some clubs and pubs such as the Bar 38 chain have single sex toilets for customers.
Let us consider a Public Toilet in a typical British Town. It will be a brick built building with the Gents Toilets at one end and the Ladies at the other. Inside there will be a row of cubicles (stalls) with doors containing the WC Pans. If its a Gents toilet there will be say 4 or 5 of these and either a long trough type urinal or say 4 or 5 "slipper" urinals. (I hate these dirty smelly things and wont use them. I wont bore you with the details, see Old Posts for my many abolish the urinal postings). There will also be a number of handbasins with hopefully both hot and cold water, liquid soap, and either paper towels or a hot air drier. In the Ladies Toilet of course there is no dirty smelly urinals but more cubicles in this example say 8 or 9. Otherwise the toilets are exactly the same. You may also find a machine selling contraceptives in both toilets and one vending tampons or sanitary towels in the Ladies which will have bins in each cubicle for women to dispose of u! sed tampons or STs.
British toilets pans in Public Toilets generally have quite powerful flushes, none of your "tree hugging Green nonsense" here, and will usually handle all but the really big panbuster whoppers, say turds up to 9 inches long will flush away, over that length they may well stick. Also they have good "Kersplunkability" so listen out for the sound effects. The stainless steel pans used in some toilets are first class in the regards , a loud resounding "KU-BLOONG!" You will sometimes see someone elses jobbie in the pan, even if it isnt huge, as often people will leave a nice solid one unflushed in a public toilet where they would always pull the flush at home or in a friends toilet.
One thing you will NOT find is "ass gaskets" these are virtually unknown in the UK, we just dont use them.
Hope this is of use to you, tell us of your adventures in British Toilets.
I have been listening to the girl group Atomic Kitten(three pretty blondes) on Top of The Pops and one of the gilrs said that she talks on the mobile phone while sitting on the toilet and that she has to be careful if she is doing a number two and it goes "plop!" I had a picture of this nubile blonde sitting on the pan with her panties down doing a nice big lumpy jobbie which goes "KUR-SPLOONK!"
Talking about it going "plop!" I had an interesting constipation episode this week. I didnt have a motion from Tuesday lunchtime till Saturday morning. On Tuesday I did a fairly ordinary poo, one fat turd of about 8 inches long followed by a 4 inch "mick". I didnt feel the need to do a motion on Wednesday or Thursday. On Friday evening I did need a poo but only passed three hard balls about the size of eggs which went "PLOONK! PLOINK! KUPLOONK!" with a lot off OO! and AH! sounds. My wife Theresa came in with my and rubbed my ???? but that was all I could produce, although I felt there was a lot more to come down. "Oh you ARE constipated, Tony!" she said with a grin. I decided to take some Liquid Parafin before going to bed as this is a gentle lubricant. On Saturday morning Thersa massaged my ???? as I lay in bed to "help the jobbie come down" I got up and had a cup of coffee then about 15 minutes later I felt the urge to do a poo and could feel the big jobbie come down ! into my back passage, getting the turtle's head and giving me an erection in the process. I asked Theresa to come in to the toilet with me and I sat on the pan with my black CK Briefs at my knees and her gently rubbing my ????. I couldnt do a wee wee and sat there and felt my ring start to stretch as this fat lumpy jobbie slowly emerged. Theresa urged me to "Try hard Tony, to a nice big jobbie for Theresa" I bore down gently but firmly, going "OO! AH! NNN! The liquid parafin had done its stuff and lubricated the fat turd and it started to slide out faster after the first few inches. With Theresa pushing my belly gently I pushed it out NN! AH! OO! OO! KUR-SPOOL-LOOMP! into our large old fashioned deep toilet pan. Behind the hard lumpy turd a smooth easier jobbie slid out easily with a FLOOMP!" AHHHH! I gave a sign of relief and I was then able to pee loudly into the pan. Finished I got up and my wife and I had a good look at what I had passed. There were two big fat jobbies in! the pan. The first being a fat compacted knobbly carrot shaped turd about 2.5 inches fat and 14 inches long, the second a smooth curved sausage equally thick but about 8 inches long. The hard jobbie being a darker brown than the easy one. There was an oily sheen in the water from the Liquid Parafin. Theresa asked me if I was finished and then wiped my bum for me with a couple of moist tissues, (we do this for each other when we are at home). Later she buddy dumped her own motion, a single easy fat light brown carrot shaped jobbie of about 12 inches on top of mine with a "KA-SPLOONK!" .
Sunday, August 05, 2001